Entertainment
The Netflix Film That Proves What’s Wrong With Modern Children’s Movies
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
Growing up as an ‘80s kid, I had a fairly awesome childhood (thanks, mom and dad!). My nostalgia for that era is quite strong, which is why I’m typing this while surrounded by a small army of GI Joes, Transformers, and Ninja Turtles. It’s no surprise, then, that when friends ask me what movies they should show their children, I typically recommend films from the decade that brought us everything from the Ghostbusters to Big Trouble in Little China.
When a friend recently asked what she should show her two kids, I didn’t hesitate to recommend Labyrinth. Cute songs, wacky muppets, wacky David Bowie, and Jennifer Connelly in a breakout role; what’s not to love? Soon, she reported that her kids were having nightmares about the Goblin King and his monstrous minions. I felt bad for about two seconds before realizing the problem: Jim Henson’s Labyrinth is still a perfect children’s movie. Unfortunately, Hollywood has transformed modern kids’ movies into vibes-based screensavers that no longer allow children to safely explore crunchy concepts like love, death, and even human mortality.
Ziggy Stardust And The Goblins From Mars
After my friend chided me about my recommendation, I had to be honest with myself: Labyrinth is a pretty scary movie. The central plot involves a mysterious man kidnapping a small child, and poor Jennifer Connelly must navigate a world of increasingly nightmarish Muppets in order to rescue him. The titular labyrinth often feels like a prison with no way out, and things like the “Helping Hands” scene and the masked ball are the stuff of fever-dream nightmares. Hovering over all of this is the fact that the Goblin King is a middle-aged menace trying to secure a child bride, one played by a girl who wasn’t even old enough to get her learner’s permit.
Despite all of that, though, I still think Labyrinth is a great film to share with children. To me, the scary aspects mentioned above are a feature, not a bug. It may be “only” a kids’ movie, but these frightening features infuse Labyrinth with a sense of genuine tension from beginning to end. Tension is, of course, the secret ingredient of any good story because it provides the narrative with real stakes for the characters that we care about. Those characters grow through tension and conflict, but most modern children’s movies have surgically removed everything scary and tense in an effort to make their films less offensive and more palatable.
A Star Is Born
In A Minecraft Movie, for example, no kid thinks the malevolent Malgosha is going to take over the world; they understand the plot is just window dressing for a film trying to squeeze in as many game references as possible into the runtime. Similarly, no youngsters watching Sonic the Hedgehog think Dr. Robotnik will win the day. They’re just here for the in-jokes and slick special effects that precede the inevitable happy ending. Furthermore, no children think Bowser, Jr. is going to conquer the universe in Super Mario Galaxy; they’re just here to appreciate the parade of Nintendo memes onscreen and hope their favorite Smash Bros. characters pop up.
These movies are not designed to challenge children; instead, they serve as two-hour distractions for parents who need some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, the concerted Hollywood effort to make these films inoffensive has also made them bland and creatively bankrupt. It’s functionally impossible for children to enjoy these works as films: instead, they are designed as just another bit of colorful stimuli for an ADHD generation raised more by their iPads than their parents. But Labyrinth is proof that it doesn’t have to be this way and that we can (and should) be giving our children plenty of substance to go with their spectacle.
The World’s Creepiest Muppets
Why, specifically, do I think children should watch Labyrinth? The first reason is that, at the risk of sounding overly blunt, fear is something that everyone must deal with every single day. Watching a spookier children’s movie allows kids to microdose fear and learn to process it within the context of a story that ultimately offers an inevitably happy ending. You know how some people are so nervous that a loud noise can ruin their entire day? That’s what happens when you lead a sheltered childhood protected from all things scary. Conversely, a regular diet of mildly frightening kids’ movies can help the audience grow into well-adjusted adults.
On a related note, movies like Labyrinth are a safe, controlled way to introduce kids to important real-world topics that might just save their lives. This is a film about child abduction, extortion, power imbalances, and so many other ‘dark’ topics, but it’s all wrapped in a shiny wrapper that includes cute songs and cuter creatures. Take it from a parent: you’ll eventually have to talk with your children about how all of this works in the real world to keep them safe. That conversation will be a lot easier for you (and more believable for them) if they have had time to process these scary ideas within a fictional context.
Teaching Kids Lessons (One Scream At A Time)
Finally, if you actually watch the movie with your kiddo instead of just using the TV as a babysitter, you can help teach them the most elusive skill of all: critical thinking. Every moment that makes them cover their eyes in fright is an opportunity for an open and honest conversation, with leading questions like “why did that scare you?” and “what do you think that character should have done instead?” This teaches children to actually engage with and learn from media, all while improving their self-confidence by helping them get over their fears. Not for nothing, they’ll also feel a sense of pride for emerging from a scary movie, stronger than ever.
Want to teach your own child a few important lessons? Or want to relive the glory days of weird ‘80s cinema? Heck, do you just want to jam out to the Goblin King’s impossibly catchy tunes? No matter your motivation, you’re in luck: Labyrinth is streaming on Netflix today. It’s a scary good time that, regardless of what my friend might tell you, is fun for the whole family. Fair warning, though: you might want to make sure nobody’s around before you start dancing your own magic dance in the living room!
Entertainment
Save on gas (and everything else) with a $15 BJ’s membership
TL;DR: Score a one-year BJ’s membership for $15 (reg. $60) and save up to 20¢/gal. on gas through April 30 — just in time for spring shopping and road trips.
Credit: BJ’s Wholesale Club
The warmer weather tends to sneak up fast, and so do those grocery bills and gas receipts. A one-year membership to BJ’s Wholesale Club is one of those simple upgrades that can make everyday shopping feel a little more manageable.
You can currently grab a Club Card Membership with BJ’s Easy Renewal for just $15 (reg. $60) through April 30, which opens the door to savings across groceries, household essentials, and even your weekend cookout prep.
Mashable Deals
Let’s start with the obvious, though. Gas prices. Members already get everyday savings at BJ’s Gas, but during this promo window, you’ll get an extra 15¢ off per gallon stacked on top of the usual 5¢ discount — bringing your total to 20¢ off per gallon through April 30.
Inside the club, it’s all about stretching your dollar further. BJ’s is known for offering competitive pricing on national brands, plus a wide selection of fresh produce, meats, bakery items, and deli favorites. Whether you’re planning a backyard BBQ, stocking up for a party, or just trying to cut down on weekly grocery runs, buying in bulk can help simplify things.
Mashable Trend Report
There’s also something to be said for convenience. Fewer trips to the store, more options in one place, and access to seasonal items that make spring and summer feel extra special.
Get a one-year Club Card Membership with BJ’s Easy Renewal® for just $15 (reg. $60) and enjoy an extra 15¢ off per gallon at any of the 199 BJ’s gas stations through April 30.
Grabbing this deal? Build your cart to $100+ and score a lifetime license to Microsoft Office 2021 free with code GWP4MAC (for Mac) or GWP4WIND (for Windows) through April 19.
Gift with $100+ purchase promo ends April 19, 2026. Exclusions apply. Only one promo code applicable per order. Prices subject to change.
StackSocial prices subject to change.
Entertainment
This $43 bundle quietly upgrades your entire PC experience
TL;DR: This rare Microsoft bundle deal gives you a lifetime license to Microsoft Office Professional 2021 for Windows and Windows 11 Pro for only $42.97 (reg. $418.99) through May 17.
$42.97
$418.99
Save $376.02
Looking for an affordable way to make your old PC feel new again? If you don’t have the funds to buy a brand new computer, don’t worry. The Ultimate Microsoft Office Professional 2021 for Windows lifetime license and Windows 11 Pro Bundle is the next best thing, offering your computer a total upgrade for only $42.97 through May 17.
Don’t count out your dusty old PC. This Microsoft bundle is here to give it a total facelift for less than $50. It kicks off with a lifetime license to some of the brand’s most popular tools — Microsoft Office, which you’ll pay for once and enjoy without any subscription fees.
Mashable Deals
You’ll get permanent access to a suite of eight helpful apps with Microsoft Office Professional 2021 for Windows. It includes staples that have been around for decades, like Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and Outlook. You’ll also get newer favorites like Teams, OneNote, Access, and Publisher.
Once you’ve loaded the apps onto your device, you can upgrade your OS to Windows 11 Pro. It’s an operating system made for modern professionals, with tools that support your workflow. Enjoy a more powerful search experience, improved voice typing, a seamless interface, snap layouts, and much more.
You can rest easy knowing Windows 11 Pro takes your cybersecurity seriously. You’ll have biometric logins, encrypted authentication, and advanced antivirus defenses to keep your data secure.
Mashable Deals
Show your PC some love with the Microsoft Office Professional 2021 for Windows and Windows 11 Pro bundle for only $42.97 (reg. $418.99) now until May 17.
StackSocial prices subject to change.
Entertainment
Star Trek’s First Broadcast Episode Was Very Carefully Chosen, Because It Was Boring
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
These days, Star Trek is a bona fide pop culture phenomenon. But during the development of The Original Series, there was anxiety that the general public wouldn’t really understand Gene Roddenberry’s mashing up Western tropes with a sci-fi setting. Making matters worse was that the original pilot, “The Cage,” had been rejected by NBC for being too brainy. Fortunately, Roddenberry got a chance to shoot another pilot, one which impressed the network enough to order an entire season worth of episodes.
Several episodes of Star Trek: The Original Series had already been shot when the time came for this new show to make its broadcast premiere. The first episode that the general public saw was “The Man Trap,” which featured a shapeshifting monster that was revealed to be an alien salt vampire. This good-but-not-great episode was an odd choice, and it was one that the cast and crew hated. As it turns out, though, this episode was very carefully selected by executives because it served as an inoffensive, relatively straightforward encapsulation of everything Star Trek had to offer.
It’s A Trap!
Most of the information we have about why “The Man Trap” was selected as Star Trek’s first episode comes from the book Inside Star Trek: The Real Story. Within this impressive reference tome, Robert H. Justman and Herbert F. Solow revealed something surprising: NBC had several other episodes to choose from for the premiere, including “The Corbomite Maneuver,” “Charlie X,” “Mudd’s Women,” “Where No Man Has Gone Before,” and “The Naked Time.” All of them had already been shot and were mostly finished, so it was just a matter of figuring out which episode would serve as the best introduction to Star Trek, a heretofore unknown sci-fi series.
“The Man Trap” won out, mostly because the powers that be worried that other episodes would be off-putting to general audiences in some very specific ways. For example, they worried that audiences would find “Charlie X” a story that was “too gentle” because it focused on an adolescent with special powers. This was probably the right call, in retrospect: when Variety gave a negative review of “The Man Trap” (an episode chosen, in part, because of its relative maturity), they declared that Star Trek: The Original Series was “better suited to the Saturday morning kidvid bloc” (ouch!).
A Monster Hit Of An Episode
“The Corbomite Maneuver” was a great potential choice, but this episode’s impressive special effects were still in post-production, and almost all of its action took place on the ship. “Where No Man Has Gone Before” really outlined the premise of the new show, but it was deemed “expository” for general audiences expecting more action and danger. Justman thought “The Naked Time” was a killer introduction to the crew’s personalities, but the network passed, presumably because of how over-the-top (half-naked, swashbuckling Sulu? Oh, my!) that episode gets. “Mudd’s Women,” meanwhile, was deemed too offensive because the plot involved literally selling women to miners.
Through this process of elimination, executives decided that “The Man Trap” was the best intro to Star Trek. It had cool scenes on both the Enterprise and a distant outpost (a strange new world) and featured a straightforward action plot you didn’t have to be a sci-fi aficionado to understand. Finally, it was all about finding and defeating a creepy monster, which offered thrills to audiences of all ages. The network’s choice paid off, and Star Trek: The Original Series became the most popular sci-fi show in television history, even though the cast (including William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy) thought “The Man Trap” was the worst possible episode they could have chosen.
All of this is a keen reminder of how much thought and work went into putting Star Trek’s best foot forward. It might be a reminder that Paramount’s current upper leadership needs, as Starfleet Academy hit the ground running with the worst episodes of Season 1. The show got better after that, but it didn’t matter because the prospective audience had already been driven away. As it turns out, today’s execs need to learn something that the network execs of the ‘60s had learned very well: series succeed when you give the audience what they want to see and not what you want to show!
Marlins OF Kyle Stowers activated, to make season debut
Dodgers put 1B Freddie Freeman on paternity list, call up OF Ryan Ward
