Entertainment
The Canonical Story That Made Star Wars' Most Intimidating Villain Gay
By Chris Snellgrove
| Updated
When it comes to Star Wars, most fans agree that Darth Vader is the scariest guy in the entire galaxy far, far away. However, what’s scarier than this Dark Lord of the Sith? Simple answer: whatever scares Vader is scarier than Vader. Since he has access to an entire Empire and the Dark Side of the Force, there are few people he actually fears. One of the only people is Grand Moff Tarkin, who serves as the real Big Bad of the first Star Wars movie.
Sure, Tarkin didn’t look like a robot samurai, and he didn’t wield magical powers. But he’s the one guy, aside from the Emperor, who bosses Vader around. Leia is telling the truth later on: Tarkin really does hold the Sith Lord’s leash. If that sounds a little kinky for Star Wars, you don’t know the half of it. One relatively unknown Star Wars story makes it clear that Grand Moff Tarkin had a secret love affair with the Stormtrooper whose armor Luke Skywalker steals. Oh, and they send booty call messages with that little mouse droid from the Death Star!
Like A Moff To The Flame
Ok, this is a pretty weird tale, even by the standards of Star Wars. It begins with “Of MSE-6 and Men,” one of the short stories in the anthology book From A Certain Point Of View. Written by Glen Weldon, this story takes place on the Death Star and mostly focuses on two people: MSE-6-G735Y (the adorable mouse droid that Chewbacca roars at) and TK-421, a Stormtrooper. The trooper begins a gay relationship with an unnamed, high-ranking officer, whom the author later admitted was supposed to be Tarkin. Their secret, passionate affair ends when Luke Skywalker blasts the Stormtrooper, taking his armor and hiding the body in a crawlspace aboard the Millennium Falcon.
So, how do we know the unnamed officer is supposed to be Grand Moff Tarkin? “Of MSE-6 and Men” drops some heavy-handed hints, including the fact that this guy has Alpha One security clearance and a super-swanky office aboard the Death Star. Oh, and he has an even swankier penthouse back on Coruscant. Mostly, though, we know because of author Glen Weldon’s posts on X. He has frequently responded with shrugging memes when people ask if the officer is Tarkin and posted smirking Cersei Lannister pictures alongside his own internet search for “tarkin gay.” Weldon also posted a picture of Tarkin and TK-421 side by side and called it a “couples costume idea.”
He’s Here, He’s Queer
While people more interested in culture wars than Star Wars might freak out about this short story, Grand Moff Tarkin being gay doesn’t really change anything people like about the character. He’s still just as intimidating, thanks in large part to a masterful performance by Peter Cushing. The same is true for Darth Vader. Knowing his sexuality doesn’t make him any less of a scary robot man. Although knowing that he was regularly bumping uglies with Natalie Portman before she died of sadness and his manhood burned off in lava admittedly goes a long way towards explaining why he’s so angry all the time.
However, as with many of the short stories in From A Certain Point of View, “Of MSE-6 and Men” does force you to look at several aspects of A New Hope through fresh eyes. It’s wild to think Tarkin was on the down low with a random Stormtrooper (one who puts on a fake hick accent, no less) and sending texts via a droid. When Chewbacca yelled at this little droid, was he secretly c*ckblocking the scariest guy in the galaxy? As for Tarkin, did he refuse to evacuate the Death Star because he was obsessed with killing the Rebel hero who murdered his rough trade sidepiece in cold blood?
There’s a lesson here, Star Wars fans: when you’re celebrating Pride Month this June, don’t forget Grand Moff Tarkin. Thanks to this bonkers short story, he’s now the most prominent gay icon in a galaxy far, far away, if only because Lucas and Disney just keep C-3PO in the closet. On the topic of Pride, though, “Of MSE-6 and Men” does leave me with one lingering question: do you think the Empire makes a big deal about their rainbow PFPs on social media in June, or do they keep everything gunmetal grey, all year long?
Entertainment
This educational kids app gives parents a much-needed break — and now it’s $60 for life
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This $145 ASUS Chromebook is a laptop and tablet in one
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If you’re in the market for a laptop and a tablet, you have a pretty steep price tag ahead of you. The ASUS Chromebook CM30 solves for that, giving you two devices in one thanks to a detachable keyboard.
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The world asks a lot of us these days. Since we’re all used to multitasking, our devices should be able to do it too. This ASUS Chromebook CM30 is up to the task — offering an easy way to switch from a productivity laptop to a relaxation tablet in just a few seconds.
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Microsoft Office is finally a one-time purchase, and it’s only $30
TL;DR: Instead of paying for Microsoft 365 every month, get a Microsoft Office lifetime license while they’re on sale for $29.97. Sale ends July 19 at 11:59 p.m. PT.
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You might not want to keep paying for Microsoft 365 anymore. At its absolute cheapest, Microsoft 365 is $99.99 per year, and that’s if you pay for the full year up front, but it’s also not your only option anymore. Instead of paying for the same software year after year, now you can get a lifetime license for Microsoft Office installed directly onto your PC, and it’s only $29.97 (reg. $219.99) on sale.
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Through July 19 at 11:59 p.m. PT, it’s only $29.97 to get a Microsoft Office lifetime license.
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