Stallone, Schmallone.

By David Wharton
| Published 36 seconds ago

Science fiction plays host to some of the toughest characters in all of fiction, so we’ve set out to put together a team of the toughest of that tough bunch.  Think of it like the Avengers, except with more bullets and a heavier focus on fighting aliens.

If you’ve got a job dismantling angry robots or shooting at things in outer space, or you need someone to travel back in time and kill your creepy Uncle before he’s born, we’ve got the ultimate team to do it.

These are the most unstoppable, gritty, hard-as-nails characters in all of science fiction. On their own, each is fully capable of saving the universe. Together, we suspect they’d literally be able to do anything.

Sarah Connor from Terminator

When you first met Sarah Connor, she was a meek, mild-mannered waitress just sort of floating aimlessly through her life. Encounters with a vicious, single-minded cyborg from the future, sent back to hunt you down so your son is never born, have a way of changing that.

Over the course of the first two movies in the Terminator movies, Sarah transforms into a serious action star, teaching herself all manner of combat and survival skills, actively seeking out any and all knowledge that might help her in her one-woman war against Cyberdyne Systems and a future ruled by human-hunting machines. Basically, she’s a perfect addition to your team of mercs and will always be working to improve her already ample skill set and add to the team.

Judge Dredd from Dredd (Not Judge Dredd)

Judge Dredd has been enforcing the law for nearly 40 years’ worth of adventures. But he doesn’t strike us as the sort who’s looking to settle into his golden years quietly, so why not retire from the Judges and join a hard-assed mercenary crew like the one we’re assembling?

In the sprawling post-apocalyptic metropolis of Mega-City One, the Judges are judge, jury, and executioner. Judge Dredd is more than just another cop: he was actually cloned from the DNA of the very first Chief Judge, the man who founded the Judge system.

While Dredd has license to kill if the crime calls for it, he’s no mindless terminator, so you won’t get a bullet in the dome unless you deserve it. He’s got extensive experience in criminal investigation, combat, and the ability to read people that only several decades on the beat can grant you. He could also come in handy if your team of Sci-Fi tough guys runs afoul of law enforcement.

Dutch from Predator

Screw Stallone, this is the kind of guy you want at the helm if you’re staging a small-scale black ops incursion into a hostile country. Not only is a pinpoint tactician with a stellar resume a mile and a half long, but he can also arm wrestle the hell out of a jacked-up Carl Weathers.

He’s also got the stones to strip half naked, smear mud all over his well-developed physique, and go hand-to-hand with a vicious alien hunter. You need that type of leadership. When Dutch bellows, “Get to the choppah,” you know you damn well better get your ass to that helicopter, post haste

AEon Flux from AEon Flux

Created by Peter Chung for MTV’s Liquid Television, Æon Flux wasn’t initially as narratively driven as the other TV series and movies mentioned in this feature. But the assassin’s world opened up during its third season, and viewers got to get inside her head a little more.

Though Charlize Theron is a wonderful and talented actress, nobody in their right mind is thinking of her take on the role in Karyn Kusama’s unnecessary 2005 feature. Is “looking fabulous in leather” a skill?

Beyond her fetishistic fashion sense and motivations, Æon is a vision of agility and weaponized precision, and one that isn’t averse to getting the job done in a wordless fashion. In the war between the forces of Monica and Bregna, Æon has taken on tasks that required skills in stealth maneuvers, science, close combat, and a host of other situation-specific talents. Plus, she probably isn’t afraid of dying, since she’s done it so many times already.

Cpl. Dwayne Hicks from Aliens

James Cameron’s Aliens is a classic example of that old adage that no battle plan survives contact with the enemy. For all their chest-pounding machismo and advanced weaponry, most of the Colonial Marines get massacred almost immediately by a hissing, acid-blooded alien army that picks them off like they were green recruits.

Thankfully, Hicks survives that first bloodbath and is on hand to help the survivors regroup. He’s a combat veteran, a solid tactician, but also not so choked with testosterone that he always assumes he’s the smartest guy in the room. He’s sharp enough to realize that Ripley is the only person known to have survived an encounter with the xenomorphs, so if she says to nuke the place from orbit, you’d damn well better nuke the place from orbit.

In a crew packing all manner of cutting-edge weapons technology, Hicks is the only one smart enough to carry a simple, old-school classic as backup: a shotgun he keeps handy “for close encounters.” There’s a reason Hicks is the only Marine who got off that bug-infested rock alive (and we’ll just ignore that whole Alien 3 thing).

James T. Kirk from Iowa

Captain James Tiberius Kirk may not be the biggest or the strongest or in the best of shape, but this is a man you will follow into hell. You just might have to.

Cool under pressure, able to make the hard calls when the situation dictates, and more than willing to swap saliva with any sexy ladies he comes across, Kirk is absolutely, 100% The Man, and when you get into trouble professionally, you need someone like that, male or female, who can get you out of a tough scrape now and again.

Sure, he’ll likely get you into a few as well, but assuming you make it out alive, you always wind up with one hell of a story to tell in the process. Not to mention he’s been in command of an actual spaceship, and how cool is that?

Turanga Leela from Futurama

When it comes to putting up with a big group of dudes who rarely know what they’re doing, Futurama’s Turanga Leela is licensed and certified. As captain of the Planet Express, Leela has an eye on success and is often the only one who reaches it purposefully, while Fry and the others tend to achieve their happy endings through bumbling coincidence and blind luck. She mixes brains and brawn in such a way that it totally isn’t embarrassing to have a crush on her, right?

Not only can she pilot a ship into and out of any situation in the universe, but she’s also pretty handy with the hand-to-hand combat. (Or, in her case, the boot-to-face combat.) Due to her monocular appearance and quasi-orphaned upbringing, Leela has turned low self-esteem into an ass-kicking fuel that makes her a necessity on any mission, space-faring or otherwise. She’s no stranger to behind-the-scenes romance, and I’m thinking she may find a like-eyed soul in Snake Plissken.

Guy Pearce from Lockout

Sure, Pearce’s character has an actual name in Lockout, but “Marion Snow” doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of bad guys. No matter, because his personality and ability to bust skulls in outer space make him as memorable as any action hero.

In the movie, he’s sent to rescue the President’s daughter from an orbiting maximum security prison where inmates are running amok, which is clearly the only item anyone’s resume needs in order to get them into a superteam. As a former government agent, Snow already has a good grip on how to go about getting things done in an official capacity, so he’s able to gauge the enemy’s tactics better than most.

As evidenced several times in Lockout, Snow can take a punch like nobody’s business, and since he hates heights, he’s the guy getting things done on the ground, where punches are more likely to be thrown. By far his biggest talent is slinging out Luc Besson-written quips and verbal jabs as if he’d been speaking them since birth. I mean, people love him. Just ask your wife.

Cameron from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

On a team full of obvious heavy hitters, it’s nice to have somebody around that the opposing team will constantly underestimate. Enter Cameron, by all appearances a harmless and tiny teenage girl who couldn’t possibly be a threat to OH HOLY HELL SHE JUST PUNCHED THAT GUY’S SPINE OUT HIS BACK.

Unless she’s already been through a firefight and scraped off a bunch of her organic covering, nobody’s going to see Cameron coming, meaning she’s perfect for a bit of undercover snooping around or just catching the bag guys with their pants down (literally or figuratively, depending on what mission parameters you program into her). She’s got all the advantages of Arnie’s T-800 but with the added element of surprise, and she absolutely will not stop, ever, until her target is dead.

Snake Plissken from Escape From

In addition to being one of the most badass characters in movie history (come on, he has an eye patch and his name is Snake), he’s also hugely improvisational. During his escapes from both New York and Los Angeles, he takes what comes and rolls with the proverbial punches, constantly adjusting and adapting as the scenario changes.

You need a guy to put together a solid plan, but you also need to know you have people who can handle themselves when that plan takes a huge shit all over the place. Snake is at his best when he has to think on his feet, ad-lib, and come up with creative ways out of trouble. He can also land a glider on top of a building and surf down a drainage ditch while high-fiving Peter Fonda. Those are invaluable skills that are bound to come in handy with a crew of mercenaries.

If he has any weaknesses, it has to be his depth perception, what with the eye patch and all. Still, he’s not a half-bad basketball player, and only having one eye doesn’t seem to have much of an impact on his jump shot.

Richard B. Riddick from Pitch Black

We’ve got several soldiers and other military types on this list, not to mention a couple of cops and even some starship captains. But sometimes you need somebody a bit less respectable. Sometimes you need a guy who is, above all, a survivor.

Richard B. Riddick is an escaped convict and a hardened murderer, but he’s also an alpha predator with a knack for surviving, no matter what. Is the crew stranded on a hostile alien world filled with vicious, hungry creatures? Listen to what Riddick has to say, and there’s a good chance you might make it out with your ass intact.

His ability to see in utter darkness is an unquestionably valuable asset, but he’s also one hell of an escape artist, having busted out of some of the worst slams in the cosmos. Team gets locked up? Riddick will be the man with the plan to fix that problem. Or maybe you need some information from a source who is inconveniently incarcerated? Send Riddick in and give him a few days. Not only will he be back with what you need, but there’s also a good chance the prison will have mysteriously burned to the ground as he was leaving. Just don’t try to double-cross him.

Ellen Ripley from Alien

When you’ve faced down armor-plated alien killing machines as many times as Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) has, there isn’t much left out there to scare you. If there is something worse than that, it’s worth being cautious around. And if you can find someone willing to strap into a power loader and go hand-to-hand with an alien queen, not to mention calling her a bitch in the process, that’s an individual you need to add to your team of badass mercenaries as soon as possible.

Xenomorphs are nothing to trifle with, and once you’ve tussled with a few of them and lived to tell the tale, there’s not much else to say. Hell, even Ripley’s clones are tough as hell. Maybe you can make an entire team out of them, and you won’t even have to keep looking

Mad Max Rockatansky from Mad Max

Every team needs a wheelman, and there are few better out there than Max Rockatansky. Tooling around the post-apocalyptic wastes in his jerry-rigged battlewagon has given him the practical know-how when it comes to dealing with, avoiding, and “taking care of” any hostile drivers your team may encounter on the roadways.

Given the fact that he’s generally working in harsh, adverse conditions for motor maintenance, and that spare parts aren’t exactly available at every corner store, this is a man with the ability to bring just about any motor out there back to life, under any circumstances, no matter how dead you think it might be. That is a particularly useful bit of knowledge when you need to get the hell out of Dodge in short order. Sure, you might be able to hear him coming with that creaky knee, or the rumbling thunder of his engines, but he also brings a badass dog to the party, and what’s a party without a dog

RoboCop from Detroit

Stations in life don’t get much more radical than “living conscience inside the circuitry of a bulked-up robot authority figure.” Police officer Alex Murphy wasn’t necessarily a pillar of his community before coming to his uncertain doom, but he became something else entirely when he was outfitted with the gun-filled RoboCop exterior.

He’s been making criminals come with him dead or alive for decades now, and he’ll continue for at least another few, or until he’s completely eradicated crime. RoboCop has a heightened sense of objective moralism, with his own point of view taking a backseat to the black-and-white politics of Detroit police. Plus, there’s that whole “deadeye accuracy” and “bulletproof exoskeleton” and “the Internet inside his helmet” and all. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to make every character on this list a RoboCop? Somebody start funding that project.

Han Solo

We’ve already got a couple of ship captains on this list, but with apologies to Kirk and Leela, the Enterprise isn’t exactly subtle and the Planet Express doesn’t have the best of track records. If you need a ship that’s fast and maneuverable, with a captain who knows how to stay under the radar, you’d be hard-pressed to find a better candidate than Han and the Millennium Falcon.

As an experienced smuggler, Han knows his way around most of the galaxy’s wretched hives of scum and villainy. He may not be the most effective fighter in the bunch, but he makes up for it by being a charming sonovabitch, so he can talk his way out of a rough situation a good portion of the time. This is a guy who managed to stay ahead of a bounty from one of the galaxy’s most notorious crime bosses, after all, and he probably could have done so indefinitely if Lando hadn’t thrown him under the bus. Added bonus: wherever Han goes, so also goes Chewie. (Note: if you can’t find Han, call Captain Malcolm Reynolds or Peter “Star-Lord” Quill, in that order.)

Aeryn Sun

I went back and forth about whether to give this slot to Leia from Star Wars or not, but in the end, I simply think Aeryn is a better pick. Leia was unquestionably a badass, but she was also raised in the lap of luxury. As a Peacekeeper, Aeryn has been trained and honed into a perfect soldier since she was a child.

Thanks to accidentally becoming “irreversibly contaminated,” she lost everything she’d ever known and had to build a new life. Not only did she succeed, but she also helped make the crew of Moya into the stuff of legend across the Uncharted Territories.

In Farscape’s comic book spinoffs, Sun went even further, eventually becoming the leader of the Peacekeepers as a whole. The other women on this list can no doubt hold their own in a fight, but Sun has commanded armies and faced off against overwhelming odds with little more than a scrappy crew of escaped prisoners at her back.