By Chris Snellgrove
| Published 18 seconds ago

Starfleet Academy has been steadily improving as a show, and the latest episode showcases some of that improvement with a fairly compelling Klingon storyline. Unfortunately, the quality of this tale is undermined by the show’s weird penchant for vulgarity and its bizarre destruction of one of the franchise’s most iconic planets. The result is an episode that Charles Dickens (one of Captain Kirk’s favorite authors) might have summed up, “It was the best of Trek, it was the worst of Trek.”

The worst part of this episode (and beware major spoilers from here on, space cadets!) is the revelation that the Klingon homeworld and most of their empire have been destroyed because the Burn made their dilithium reactors blow up. There is so much wrong with this: the Burn doesn’t magically cause dilithium to explode (it only blew up starships because dilithium going inert caused warp core breaches), and it’s bizarre the Klingons would use dilithium as a power source in the first place when rival empires like the Federation figured out how to power planets with fusion nearly a millennium ago. 

It Was Not A Good Day To Die

This plot point gets even stupider when you consider that dilithium was becoming really scarce in the galaxy about 15-20 years before the Burn, so aliens (even ones as dumb as the Klingons) relying on it to power every planet in their empire would have switched to an alternative power source long before the Burn somehow blew every planet to smithereens. Like, the Klingons of this show were willing to embrace a triple parent model to save their race; are these writers really suggesting they wouldn’t have simply switched power sources, given that they had up to two decades of warning that dilithium wasn’t sustainable?

On a narrative level, it’s also depressing that Star Trek’s writers felt the need to destroy Qo’noS, one of the most iconic planets in the entire franchise. In this Starfleet Academy episode, the primary reason to do this is seemingly to give a tragic backstory to Jay-Den, the show’s sensitive, pacifist Klingon. This is Trek’s third trip to this well (after giving tragic backstory to Spock by destroying Vulcan and to Picard by destroying Romulus), and I’m getting pretty sick of writers who can’t motivate their characters through anything less than destroying billions of lives and forever altering franchise history.

If you’re a Klingon fan, this plot point is that much more horrifying because these aliens believe that the only way they can get into their version of heaven is to die in battle. Now, we know that the vast majority of them died without a weapon in their hands, meaning that they all went to Klingon hell. Doing this to the franchise’s most famous aliens for any reason would have been downright weird, but doing it just to make the new softboy Klingon seem interesting is downright insulting.

The Dirty Talking Doctor Returns

On an even stupider note, Voyager’s Doctor (the same one who was cracking poop jokes in the first episode) uses the phrase “Speech and debate is not for the chickensh*t;” when a cadet asks if he can talk like that, the cranky hologram cites the privilege of his age and how he has earned the right to talk however he wants to. 

That’s a fine sentiment (signed, a professor who sometimes curses in class), but “chicken” has never, ever been used in Star Trek as a synonym for “coward.” So even if we accept that characters in the 32nd century are still using the word “sh*t” (which has been used in the real world for over a thousand years), it’s weird that the Doctor would pair it with “chicken” in a way that was completely at least one century (and quite possibly many centuries) before he was even programmed.

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That!

The final major problem with this episode is how it hints that Jay-Den, the sensitive Klingon featured in this episode, may be gay. Now, there’s obviously nothing wrong with having a gay character, and a gay Klingon (something we’ve literally never seen before) could provide plenty of narrative opportunities for talented writers to explore. 

But as several fans have pointed out on social media, this Klingon is an aspiring healer, so the show is seemingly embracing the “gay male nurse/gay male doctor” stereotype that is very prevalent in modern culture. This is a harmful stereotype that has led to bullying of real-life men in healthcare, and it’s a little weird to see a progressive Star Trek show set in the 32nd century embracing a weird, retrograde stereotype of the 21st century.

Of course, the franchise did the exact same thing with Culber, the gay doctor that Discovery killed off in Season 1. He was resurrected, but his name on Starfleet Academy’s weird memorial wall implies that he somehow died again offscreen. Considering how wholeheartedly Star Trek has embraced the problematic “killing your gays” trope, I can only hope Jay-Den survives his apparent sexual awakening!

Age Gap Discourse Is Without Honor

If you can get past the aforementioned problems, there are some interesting things to enjoy about the latest episode of Starfleet Academy. Holly Hunter’s centuries-old chancellor finally stops spinning in her chair long enough to hook up with her Klingon ex, and (in what feels like a fun throwback to The Original Series) their continued sexual chemistry may be the key to saving the Klingons. You see, the Federation has discovered a replacement for their lost homeworld, but these stubborn aliens would rather die out than receive charity.

Knowing this warrior race as well as she does, the chancellor arranges a kind of mock battle between Starfleet and the Klingons so the latter can feel like they have conquered the world. The whole plot feels like a fun homage to “A Matter of Honor,” the Next Generation episode where Riker learned that assuaging Klingon pride is often a matter of letting them think they’ve won. This episode also deserves credit for a realistic teacher moment in which the chancellor promptly lets Jay-Den think the mock fight between empires was his idea, which boosts his confidence as a student and gets him some brownie points with the Klingons.

A few more things worth mentioning: while the whole “murder most of these aliens and send them straight to hell” plot remains wildly offensive, this Starfleet Academy episode has some interesting insights into Klingon psychology. Plus, the burgeoning friendship between Caleb and Jay-Den is much more effective than I ever imagined, echoing interactions between fan-favorite pairings like Nog and Jake or Tendi and Rutherford. 

Time To Activate Your TV’s Cloaking Device

It was also fun to see Starfleet cadets nerding out over honing their debate skills. Oh, and in a “it had to happen eventually” moment, the show’s half-Klingon, half-Jem-hadar master of cadets gets to offer some solid advice to someone rather than just stand around cartoonishly screaming. Unfortunately, this episode sandwiches its better parts between so much offensive, canon-destroying bullsh*t that it’s tough to even see (much less appreciate) what works well.

Last week, I gently praised Starfleet Academy for its snobs vs. slobs prank war episode, hoping that the series was leaning into the college shenanigans that it does well and not the deep Trek lore that it keeps handling so poorly. Unfortunately, this episode is a return to form in the worst possible way: the show wants to use this famous IP to tell sweeping stories of family, friendship, and diaspora, but they are doing so while running the franchise into the ground. Previously, I quoted Captain Kirk in reminding Paramount executives that “risk is part of the game” when it comes to this beloved brand’s storytelling.

I was hoping these creators might “boldly go” and do something that builds a future for the IP while honoring its past, all while quoting the franchise’s most famous character. Since these clearly hate The Original Series so much and clearly don’t care about the fandom, I figured I would send the same message using the cool, measured, and rational language that these millionaires might finally understand: “Making Star Trek is not for the chickensh*t!”