By Robert Scucci
| Published 15 seconds ago

The 90s were great because a movie ticket cost less than $10 and Michael Bay blew up everything he could get his hands on. It was a magical time I wish I could go back to, when action spectacle dominated the cinemascape and nobody cared how unrealistic it was. Helicopters were a financial flex, heists became increasingly convoluted, and sometimes the FBI guy would step in and tell the local police guy that he’s in charge now, followed by a brief scuffle before they put their heads together and figure out what they’re dealing with.

Since time only marches relentlessly forward and we can never truly go back to what we thought were the glory days, the best thing you can do right now is watch Bay’s 2022 blockbuster, Ambulance, on Netflix. It’s pure popcorn action thriller awesomeness, and that’s all there is to it. It’s basically Speed meets Heat, with a surprising amount of comic relief at just the right moments. If you’re missing the days of action movie excess, this is one you’ll want to buckle up for.

Two Brothers Against Every Single Cop

Ambulance plays out like a 136-minute chase sequence, and you really don’t need much exposition to get going. Former Marine Will Sharp (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) is desperate for cash because his wife needs a life-saving surgery. His adoptive older brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a total psychopath who has bank robbing down to a science. He’s knocked off dozens of banks over the years and is still a free man, so he clearly knows what he’s doing. At this point, his crew is tight and the operation is turnkey.

The problem is that Danny is getting a little too cocky for his own good, and his fatal mistake is walking around without a mask like he owns the place when it’s finally showtime. While stealing $18 million in cash, LAPD officer Zach (Jackson White) talks his way into the building because he wants to ask a teller out on a date. He quickly realizes something is off and a shootout occurs, critically injuring the officer when Will accidentally shoots him.

Surrounded and dead to rights, Will and Danny don’t have many options. They hijack an ambulance driven by Cam Thompson (Eiza Gonzalez), taking her and the wounded officer hostage. LAPD Captain Monroe (Garret Dillahunt), who’s been tracking Danny for months, and FBI Agent Ansen Clark (Keir O’Donnel), who knows what he’s capable of because the robber once joined the academy to learn how to outsmart authorities, pool every available resource to apprehend the robbers, rescue their officer, and minimize collateral damage.

But this is a Michael Bay flick, so that previous sentence doesn’t exactly go as planned. City blocks get wiped out, impromptu spleen surgeries are performed in the back of a speeding EMT, thousands of rounds are pumped into the streets, and Danny and Will start bickering at the worst possible times like brothers are known to do. Will is an otherwise honorable man trying to do right by his family, while Danny clearly isn’t living in the same reality as everybody else. With nowhere to go and no backup plan to their backup plan, it’s only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down.

90s Vibes All Around

To my surprise and pleasure, Ambulance exceeded every expectation I had. I thought it would be a cheap 90s knockoff, but it’s a perfect modern action thriller. It wears its influences on its sleeve, but there’s so much charisma dripping from every frame that you can’t help but root for the bad guys. That’s what makes this movie such a joy to watch. Danny and Will are responsible for an insane amount of destruction, and who knows how many officers and civilians get caught in the crossfire during their chase. They’re not heroes, just the protagonists we’re following, but you still want them to succeed.

Even better, the task forces hunting them have been waiting to take Danny down for a long time, and they’re more than ready to smoke him out using whatever resources they have to finally say “mission accomplished.”

The real star of the show, though, is Jake Gyllenhaal, who looks like he’s having a little too much fun. The level of hubris Danny exudes in every scene is infectious, and you know he’s flying too close to the sun the moment you’re introduced to him. It’s also the source of most of Ambulance’s comic relief, breaking the tension exactly when you need a breather from the constant gunfire and explosions.

My personal favorite moment is right before the heist, when everybody but Danny is masked up on the elevator and an elderly woman, also masked, steps in without realizing the place is about to get robbed. Danny gives this perfect “oh, come on” look as the doors close because he knows he’s going to have to deal with her at some point. Not a single line of dialogue is uttered, and it’s a perfect scene to set the tone for what’s to come. 

Every scene in Ambulance is dialed to 11, and it’s honestly refreshing. As city streets and sidewalk vendors get leveled, all you can think is, “How are they going to get out of this one?” And every time they do, you sit there dumbfounded because it’s completely unrealistic, but you just don’t care. I can’t remember the last time I willingly suspended this much disbelief for an action thriller because it’s just so fun to watch unfold without overthinking it.

Ambulance is currently streaming on Netflix.