Entertainment
Muscles, Midgets, And Skeletons Collide In The Most Controversial Fantasy Film Ever Made
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
In case the rise of everything from Stranger Things to synthwave didn’t tip you off, ‘80s kids are really having a moment right now. Every beloved childhood property just keeps coming back to the big screen, including Ghostbusters, Transformers, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. One franchise that just keeps getting revised is Masters of the Universe, whose heroic He-Man serves as the ultimate icon of masculinity and strength. The original show already had one animated spinoff and one anime-flavored reboot before Netflix brought the franchise back to life with two different cartoons. Now, He-Man’s latest live-action movie is about to premiere, and early buzz proves that this IP still has the power.
With the new movie about to hack and slash its way into theaters, now is the perfect time to revisit the original Masters of the Universe movie from 1987. It’s a film that gets a bad rap from genre fans because of some obvious flaws: there’s not enough action, not enough Eternia, and He-Man actor Dolph Lundgren’s heavily accented voice is hilariously bad. If you can look past that, though, this film has plenty to love, including amazing costume designs, fun dialogue, and a stunning performance from Skeletor actor Frank Langella. Throw in early roles for two of the biggest stars of the ‘90s, and you have plenty of reasons to revisit this underrated film.
When He Holds Aloft His Magic Sword
The plot of Masters of the Universe begins with Big Bad Skeletor finally winning: he captures Castle Grayskull and imprisons its guardian, the Sorceress. Once he fully drains her powers, he’ll be able to rule the entire universe. He-Man and his allies mount a desperate attack on the castle, but they are forced to flee to Earth thanks to their new buddy Gwildor’s invention: the cosmic key. Skeletor’s forces pursue them to Earth, eager to retrieve the cosmic key that threatens to foil their plans for universal domination. But with the help of some newfound allies, He-Man might just discover the secret to saving countless worlds from the forces of darkness.
When Masters of the Universe came out, it was considered a mixed bag by fans of the iconic ‘80s cartoon. That cartoon was set entirely on Eternia, so it was disappointing to see the movie set almost entirely on Earth. It was also weird to see strange new villains taking the place of familiar characters; instead of Mer-Man or Try-Klops, we get new baddies that include a robot lizard, a pirate with a sword obsession, and a generic monster man with hair straight out of The Righteous Gemstones. There were also plenty of deviations from the lore, including the fact that He-Man does not have his Prince Adam secret identity.
Beyond these foibles, though, there’s plenty to love, and Masters of the Universe is glorious ‘80s B-movie schlock in its purest form!
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
What’s so good about this hated fantasy movie? For one thing, Dolph Lundgren. Yes, his accent is atrocious, but that lends the movie a superpowered dose of goofy charm. Like, you know how fun it is in Rocky IV when Lundgren goes, “If he dies, he dies?” Well, Masters of the Universe is filled with even stupider dialogue, and it becomes infinitely funnier coming out of Lundgren’s mouth. Plus, he certainly looks the part: He-Man was originally inspired by Conan the Barbarian, and Lundgren looks nearly as impressive here as Arnold Schwarzenegger did in the ‘80s Conan films. The combo of muscles and silly accent transforms this He-Man into something weirdly compelling: the ultimate himbo.
Other performers are equally captivating. Like, it was sad that Orko didn’t make an appearance in here, but little man Billy Barty’s Gwildor is a suitable replacement, and his performance gives this movie some truly captivating campiness. Meg Foster is the perfect embodiment of Evil-Lyn, a powerful dommy mommy who can chill you to the bone with one stare from her abyssal eyes. James Tolkan is pitch-perfect as a high-strung cop, and if anything, he’s even more unhinged here than he ever was as the uptight principal in Back to the Future. Plus, while their performances aren’t great, it’s fun to see early appearances from two ‘90s icons: Friends’ Courtney Cox and Star Trek: Voyager’s Robert Duncan McNeil.
Spooky, Spooky Skeleton
However, nobody is performing at the same level as Skeletor actor Frank Langella. Instead of leaning into the campiness of the cartoon incarnation, he imbues Skeletor with a pathos and gravitas worthy of a Shakespeare character like King Lear. Basically, Langella didn’t get the memo that this was a schlocky cartoon movie, and he gives a confident and 100 percent locked-in performance whenever he is onscreen. Despite having his face caked over with distractingly weird makeup, Langella is fully committed to being the ultimate villain. In short, it’s wonderful to watch him transform a cackling cartoon villain into someone with the intensity of Alan Rickman in Die Hard.
Beyond the performances, Masters of the Universe also delivers some crowd-pleasing action. Admittedly, there’s not enough of it, and the film would have benefited from more slashing and less yapping. But it’s seriously cool seeing He-Man take on Skeletor’s foot soldiers, whose slick costumes are (thanks to designer William Stout) the coolest sci-fi design since the Stormtrooper. Plus, it’s undeniably awesome seeing He-Man fight with Skeletor onscreen. If you grew up absolutely mainlining the cartoon like I did, seeing your favorite action figures duking it out in live-action is an absolute dream come true.
Masters of the Universe is obviously not a perfect film, but it’s much, much better than its reputation suggests. Quirky performances, killer costume design, and so-bad-it ’s-good dialogue all make this movie worth watching. Just ask yourself: do you like swords and sorcery? Do you like cool villains and hot villainesses? Do you want to return to a time when sci-fi movies didn’t take themselves so seriously? You don’t need a cosmic key to blast to the past. Just hold your magic remote aloft, scream “I have the power,” and stream Masters of the Universe on Tubi. It’s free, leaving you with spare cash for one of the finer things in life: action figures, baby!
