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King Kong Ripoff From The 70s Is Spectacularly Ranchy

By Chris Sawin
| Updated

A*P*E is one of those strange and horny films from the 1970s that you wonder why, in the present day, it exists in the first place. Originally rushed into production to compete with the John Guillermin directed 1976 remake of King Kong (the one starring Jeff Bridges), A*P*E is a co-production between South Korea and the United States and was originally shot and presented in 3-D.

Co-written and directed by Paul Leder with special effects by Park Kwang Nam, A*P*E is considered by many to be a Z-movie; so low budget that it’s a complete failure. The film’s entire budget was $23,000, while the special effects budget for the miniature buildings was only $1,200. Shot in just 14 days, A*P*E is mostly a direct ripoff of King Kong.

Not To Be Confused With King Kong

The story is that a 36-foot ape has been sedated and captured with the intent of showcasing it across the world. He escapes and causes havoc as he makes his way from the sea to Seoul. There’s also an actress in a red dress that he kidnaps on two separate occasions and obsesses over.

The film was originally advertised as The New King Kong before being slapped with a $1.5 million lawsuit by RKO Pictures. The film’s title was then changed to Super Ape and then A*P*E; a play on M*A*S*H and an abbreviation for “Attacking Primate MonstEr.”

The tagline was also changed to “Not to be confused with King Kong.” South Korea and other foreign countries were able to keep the references to King Kong with alternative titles such as Super King Kong and King Kong Returns. Other titles for the film include Ape (without the asterisks), King Kong’s Great Counterattack, Hideous Mutant, and Attack of the Giant Horny Gorilla.

Mr. Canadian Tuxedo Saves The Day

The film opens on an oil tanker in the dead of night, out at sea. Two shipmates discuss the giant gorilla, claiming that he’s been sedated enough to be out cold for five days and that his exhibition will begin at Disneyland, of all places. The ape wakes up and destroys the tanker in an impressive explosion. He then stands up in the middle of the water, clearly showcasing a wet ape suit as it struggles to cover up the actor’s wet arms and neck.

He proceeds to dance-wrestle a shark. He cradles it in his arms, and weaves back and forth in the water with it as if it’s a toddler that he’s teaching to swim. Soon after, he tears the shark’s jaw from its face. The ape then arrives on land and destroys a town in a fiery blaze. He stomps around all of these destroyed homes and throws explosive barrels around. One of these “barrels” is thrown into the camera, and it’s noticeable that they’re just a pile of unlabeled tin cans (think Spaghetti-O cans with the label ripped off).

An American actress named Marilyn Baker (Joanna Kerns in her film debut) has traveled to South Korea to make her first foreign picture. The picture in question, based on the scenes that are shown being shot, is filled with nothing but assault scenes. Her sort-of non-serious boyfriend, Tom Rose (Rod Arrants), decides to surprise her and is the first person to welcome her off the plane.

Tom is cringingly horny, by the way. With his curly white man afro and doused from head to toe in a blue jean jacket and bell bottoms, Tom is DTF and wants Marilyn to blow off her shooting schedule so she can Donkey Kong all night long. He proceeds to be all over her in the car while she pretends to be interested in the buildings they drive past.

Size And Scale Are Merely Guidelines

The film has a funny way of showing scale, as well. A full-size cow is shown before the film jumps to the ape, who steps over what is clearly a tiny cow figure. A man is shown hang gliding one moment, and in the next scene, a tiny version of him is seen by the ape’s head. A giant hand is used to pound through walls and grab Marilyn whenever the ape decides it’s been too long since he’s felt such supple skin, too. For shots farther away with Marilyn, the ape carries a doll in a red dress.

The ape costume is fuzzier than you’re probably expecting, as it’s covered in this curly brown hair, more so than just rubber. There are also peculiar close-ups of him in which the actor slightly moves the mask’s lips. It comes off like a tic because it isn’t really expressive apart from the fact that he’s usually doing it while watching something he shouldn’t. It’s also not flattering at all; the ape has a beer gut, a lumpy butt that’s bulbous in all the wrong places, and giant dark salami areolas.

The ape’s journey from the sea to Seoul is filled with awkward detours. He scares a bunch of kids on the playground, he lip-quiver-stares at a couple who have reluctant sex through a skyscraper window, and he dances some more as helicopters fly above him in the desert while Marilyn hides in a cave. After finally swatting one out of the air, he flips off the camera. The ending sees him throwing rocks down a mountain to cause a rockslide in an effort to continue the comparisons to Donkey Kong.

The other instances of 3-D are rather bizarre. A soldier pulling up to one of the destroyed towns drives straight into a steel beam that crashes through his windshield and attempts to be a close call like the log sequence in Final Destination 2. The ape throws a snake directly at the camera, which immediately falls over. An action movie is being filmed when the ape shows up. They shoot flaming arrows at him that fly at the screen on strings. There’s a pool sequence where the pool stick comes at the camera before the break. The ape also throws rocks at tanks and the army when they start shooting at him, which are also on strings.

Worth Its Weight In Unintended Comedy

The dialogue is full of cringe as well. When news of the ape first starts making the rounds and people aren’t taking it seriously, the police captain is in the dining room with his family and states, “Eat your breakfast, kids, or I’ll become a monster! Rawr!” Colonel Davis (Alex Nichol) serves as the Secretary of Defense, spending the majority of the film on a telephone in a room that echoes like a public bathroom. He also yells at his assistant, who seems to take notes in a planning calendar. Davis makes it a point to exclaim, “If you happen to run into him, ask him if his name is King Kong!” His facial expression and body language imply that Davis thought he really ate with that line.

Upon Marilyn’s first kidnapping by the ape, the army sends in helicopters while Captain Kim (Lee Nak-hoon) and the police stumped upon how to reach them. Tom’s big plan is to run in to save Marilyn, which somehow works because that’s the power of blue-jean bell bottoms. As Tom and Marilyn are seen driving in the city, Marilyn says, “Take it easy, Tom! Somehow I felt more safe with the ape than I do with your driving.”

And finally, after the ape is finally dealt with in the only logical way after causing so many deaths and nearly destroying all of Seoul, Tom ends the film with, “He’s just too big for a small world like ours.”

Tom claims to be a reporter and never actually reports anything. He and Marilyn joke about getting married throughout the film, which is odd, since it sounds like they were essentially just a Tinder hookup before all of this. Captain Kim has two kids who have no dialogue. Every time they’re shown on screen, they’re laughing, sometimes for full minutes at a time, at the ugliest damn marionette you’ve ever seen. There are weird helicopter-flying and tank-driving montages because the production worked with the actual army.

A*P*E is an awful film with a conclusion that seems obvious from the start, but it’s also entertaining as hell. The special effects are better than they have any right to be, and the overall cheese is thick with a rich ridiculousness that is surprisingly satisfying. The entire thing plays out like a bad drinking game where everyone was totally smashed halfway through, but had to finish the film anyway. Watch it once, then pretend it doesn’t exist. You won’t be disappointed.

I watched A*P*E via the Blu-ray from Kino Lorber, which is now out of print. The film is currently streaming for free on Tubi, Plex, and YouTube.

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‘Love Island USA’ reveals the final four couples competing for first place

Following a lighthearted week of quality time and family reunions, Love Island USA finally announced the four couples competing for the $100,000 first-place prize.

After Corbin and Parmida were dumped from the villa in Season 8, episode 29, there were six couples left standing: Aniya and Carl, Kayda and Zach, Kenzie and Dylan, Melanie and Sincere, Tierra and KC, and Trinity and Bryce. The next few days were full of fun challenges like The Girls pranking The Boys, The Girls enjoying a fun waterpark-themed getaway from the villa, and the Islanders meeting each other’s family members for the first time.

Season 8, Episode 33 kicked off with a “mouthwatering” couples’ challenge, in which each islander had to transfer food items in water (like sardines) or condiments (like ketchup) from their mouth into their partner’s mouth. After the challenge, the couples had a few more tough pills (or, in this case, fortune cookies) to swallow at dinner that night: they found out the results of a public vote that decided which four couples were heading to the finale, and which two couples were going home.

One by one, the couples cracked open their fortune cookies, revealing whether they were safe. The final four were revealed to be Aniya and Carl, Trinity and Bryce, Melanie and Sincere, and Kayda and Zach.

Our big Guessing Game is back! Enter now for a chance to win an Apple Watch.

This left two couples dumped from the villa: Kenzie and Dylan, and Tierra and KC.

X users were sad to see them go, especially those who thought that Tierra and KC had a stronger connection than other couples in the villa. KC had just asked Tierra to be his girlfriend in Season 8, episode 31, which made the dumping even more shocking to viewers.

However, viewers were elated that Kenzie didn’t say goodbye without squatting down for one last iconic split.

While the islanders shared an emotional goodbye with Kenzie, Dylan, Tierra, and KC, they took the time to appreciate the genuine friendships they built in the villa – embodying what viewers called “Friendship Island” this season.

What makes the final four couples especially memorable this season is that the four girls are each part of the original group of islanders that we were introduced to in Season 8, episode 1, with X users saying that we have a “core four” finale in our midst. 

Now that the final four couples have been revealed, we’re only a few episodes away from finding out which couple will be crowned the winners of Love Island USA Season 8.

The season finale is scheduled to air on Sunday, July 12, 9:00 p.m. ET / 6:00 p.m. PT on Peacock.

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WWII Spy Thriller On Netflix Based On An Incredible True Story

By Jacob VanGundy
| Published

operation mincemeat

Operation Mincemeat is a spy thriller based on a true British intelligence operation from World War II. While the spy story is fascinating, and there was enough suspense to keep me watching, the movie is bogged down with unnecessary interpersonal drama. The result is an uneven, disappointing movie that doesn’t live up to its premise. 

Based on Ben Macintyre’s book about the historical event, Operation Mincemeat is about a misdirection mission by British intelligence. To hide the Invasion of Sicily, a plot is hatched by British intelligence officers Ewen Montagu and Charles Cholmondeley to plant false information on a corpse and have it wash ashore.

operation mincemeat

To sell the fake soldier’s identity, a detailed backstory was constructed including a fictional fiance using a photo of the office’s secretary Jean Leslie. 

The Period Drama Overshadows The Spy Intrigue

operation mincemeat

Operation Mincemeat brings together a fantastic cast of UK actors, who deliver great performances across the board. Colin Firth, Matthew Macfayden, and Kelly Macdonald play the movie’s three leads, making their characters feel real. The supporting cast also features great actors like Penelope Wilton, Johnny Flynn, Jason Issacs, Mark Gatiss, Paul Ritter, and Simon Russell Beale.

While I found the depiction of spycraft in Operation Mincemeat compelling it was weighed down with superfluous period drama elements. Much of the film’s runtime is dedicated to the love triangle between its three main characters, which adds a layer of unneeded personal drama that actively distracts from the spy mission’s inherent tension.

It’s the sort of tacked-on plotline that feels like it exists to meet period drama expectations, and I was unsurprised to learn it was invented whole cloth for the movie. 

The Spycraft Is More Interesting

Some of the most interesting spy thriller moments of Operation Mincemeat are glossed over to dedicate more time to its boring love triangle. Numerous scenes depict the budding relationship between Ewen and Jean, while the head of Germany’s army intelligence discovering the plot and turning a blind eye to undermine the Nazi regime is given a single truncated scene.

As a fan of spy thrillers, I can’t help but feel like the movie prioritizes the wrong elements of its plot.

The pacing in Operation Mincemeat also suffers due to its love triangle. What should be a consistently suspenseful movie grinds to a halt halfway through to focus on the romantic subplot and the hostility it creates between Ewen and Charles. With a runtime of 128 minutes, it drags on for too long, drawing attention to its unneeded subplot.

Despite its shortcomings, Operation Mincemeat has a strong story at its core and it tells that story well when its focus isn’t divided. It’s at its best when it depicts the finer details of the operation and the construction of the soldier’s fictional life. With strong acting and directing, it’s well-made even when the writing falls short. 

Fans of period dramas who also enjoy spy stories will likely enjoy Operation Mincemeat, while fans looking for a spy thriller like I was may find it disappointing. It’s a well-made movie bogged down by a single poor creative decision. You can watch the film version of one of history’s most fascinating spy stories for yourself on Netflix.

OPERATION MINCEMEAT SCORE

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Stargate SG-1 Started A Series-Long Tradition And A Fan Favorite Running Joke

By Jonathan Klotz
| Updated

One thing you’ll notice when you’re (re)watching Stargate SG-1, is that Daniel Jackson (Michael Shanks) dies a lot. By the time he dies in Episode 12, “Fire and Water,” his death count is up to three (the movie, and “Nox”), which is a little high for a regular human. Then again, he doesn’t really die in “Fire and Water,” so should that even count? Stargate Command gives him a full funeral with military honors so to my mind, it counts as another notch for “Daniel Jackson is Dead.”

Daniel Jackson Is Dead. Again. For The Third Time.

Richard Dean Anderson And His Team Stargate Hockey Stick

“Fire and Water” opens with SG-1 coming back earlier than expected from their latest mission, looking all sad and dejected as Hammond asks what went wrong, and learns that “Jackson is dead.” Before the opening credits we see the whole military funeral, O’Neill (Richard Dean Anderson) giving a touching eulogy where he admits that Jackson is the heart of the team. Out of anger, O’Neill, likely a little drunk off of Molson’s, takes out the window of a car with a hockey stick (look quick and you’ll note it says “Anderson” on the stick) and angrily demands they movie it. It’s Hammond’s car, prompting a suddenly much calmer O’Neill to tell his boss that he needs to replace that window. 

The SG-1 team slowly realizes that Daniel isn’t dead. Something messed with their minds to make them think he was. Turns out, Daniel’s alive, underwater in the lair of the aquatic merman Nem to help solve the thousand-year old mystery of what happened to his mate, Omoroca. We learn that Omoroca and Nem helped teach the ancient Babylonians until she was murdered by Belus, who of course, was a Goa’uld System Lord. It all goes back to the Goa’uld. 

The Math Ain’t Mathing

Gerard Plunkett As Nem

The merman like Nem is played by Gerard Plunkett, who first appeared on Stargate SG-1 as Councilor Tuplo in “The Broca Divide,” starting the trend of actors playing multiple aliens during the show’s decade-long run. Nem never reappears, nor is he or Omoroca mentioned again, perhaps because someone behind the scenes did the math and realized the pair’s involvement with the ancient Babylonians and also the Goa’uld broke the timeline.

Jackson tells Nem that Omoroca helped inspire the Tau’ri rebellion against the Goa’uld. That took place in 3000 B.C.E. in Egypt, yet Jackson says Nem was on Earth 4,000 years ago working with the Babylonians. That maths out to roughly 2000 B.C.E., or a thousand years after the rebellion. Goa’uld being active on Earth and acting as Gods past that point doesn’t work with the timing of the burial of the Stargate. 

“Fire and Water” is another in the long line of episodes that introduces an advanced species with deep ties to the roots of human civilization that we never see again. Get used to it, even Stargate Atlantis does this years later. It’s also not the last time that Jackson is killed in the line of duty. On its own, it’s a bit of an empty episode that alludes to bigger things, though it does get a little credit for Nem’s planet Oannes not looking like the woods of Vancouver for once. 

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