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How The All-Time Greatest Trilogy Was Saved From Hollywood Destruction

By Joshua Tyler
| Published

In the early twenty-teens, Hollywood was flying high off a decade of cinematic successes. The future had never been brighter, and the plan was to just keep delivering more of the same.

The decade of huge wins had started with the massive masterpiece success of The Lord of the Rings, when the trilogy released its first movie in 2001. It made sense that the best way to kick off the next decade was to do a lot more of that.

So the greedy ghouls behind the scenes in Tinseltown began plotting a way to bring Lord of the Rings back. They went to the man who’d made it all happen, director Peter Jackson, and poured on the pressure. Eventually, Jackson relented and gave them what they wanted, but only by refusing to compromise the world he created. He gave them more, but he did it his way, under tremendous ever-mounting pressure.

Watch the video version of this article to see The Hobbit trilogy in action.

When it was all done, everyone dismissed his work as a failure and sent him off to the Gray Havens. We were all so, so terribly wrong.

This is why The Hobbit Trilogy failed.

Peter Jackson Resists Hollywood’s Greed

When Hollywood began demanding more Lord of the Rings, he resisted. Jackson knew he’d created absolute perfection with the LOTR trilogy, and matching that would be nearly impossible. Probably, he was also just tired, having spent so much of his life already living in Tolkien’s Middle-earth.

Director Peter Jackson on set

Eventually, he relented and signed on to produce The Hobbit, but he still pushed back against doing all the day-to-day work, so he started lining up other directors to take over, hiring Guillermo del Toro to helm a two-movie version of The Hobbit. Unfortunately, repeated delays caused del Toro to exit.

Facing tight deadlines, the studio turned to Jackson, who finally relented and stepped in as director with little to no prep time at all before he had to start shooting one of the most important movies in the world. To make matters worse, the studio then pressured Jackson into making The Hobbit three movies, when most fans already thought two movies was far, far too excessive. 

It was excessive because, in book form, as written by JRR Tolkien, The Hobbit is a more straightforward, shorter adventure story than The Lord of the Rings. It’s focused on a single group of characters as they go on a quest to slay a dragon. It’s easy to see how you could divide it into two movies, but there isn’t enough material there for three. There just isn’t. 

Peter Jackson filming The Hobbit trilogy

For Jackson, being forced into three Hobbit films must have felt like the height of irony. With The Lord of the Rings he had to fight desperately to get Hollywood to let him plan it as three movies instead of one or two. Now, spoiled by his success with making three, they pressured him into making more movies than he wanted.

Unlike The Lord of the Rings, which was created out of Peter Jackson’s total passion for Tolkien’s stories, The Hobbit was a project driven by Hollywood greed.  It almost felt as if the only reason Jackson stepped up to direct at all was to save Tolkien’s world from the disaster Hollywood was trying to make out of it. 

The Hobbit Trilogy Should Have Been A Disaster

Given the realities under which The Hobbit went into production, it had no business NOT being a total disaster. That’s what it should have been; that’s what always happens when Hollywood forces a prequel that has no business existing.

And yet… 

With the fate of Middle Earth hanging in the balance, a weary Peter Jackson moved forward, determined to save the world he’d created from Hollywood’s greed. He pulled in ancillary material from other Tolkien sources, expanded scenes only hinted at in The Hobbit, and came up with enough script for three movies. 

As it begins, the first movie in The Hobbit trilogy sticks closely to the book’s format, with a Hobbit living in a cozy Hobbit hole that’s invaded by a grumpy wizard and a bunch of hungry dwarves demanding dinner. It’s glorious, it feels perfect.

Every inch of the Hobbit hole, Bag End, is lovingly crafted. The dwarves are both hilarious and sad. Gandalf is looming and omnipresent. Martin Freeman is perfect as a young Bilbo, put upon, confused, and unwilling to admit that he’s intrigued by the possibility of an adventure.

As they often did in JRR Tolkien’s books, the dwarves begin singing a brave and mournful song about the place they’re going, their former home, Erebor, the Lonely Mountain. The haunting melody of their song becomes the musical theme of the entire series, and it’s maybe even better than the amazing score of The Lord of the Rings movies, as it carries thirteen dwarves, a hobbit, and a mysterious gray wizard out of Bag End, across middle Earth on an adventure to free the Dwarven leader Thorin’s kingdom from a murderous dragon.

The Artistry And Beauty Of The Lord Of The Rings Is Present In The Hobbit

All the artistry and beauty of the original Lord of the Rings movies is here and only added to. No role was recast, Ian McKellan returns as Gandalf, and we arguably get more of him than even in The Lord of the RingsOrlando Bloom and others return, too, but not gratuitously, only when it makes sense for the plot and adds to the story. 

The first movie ends with Bilbo reading riddles in the dark, and the scene is a masterclass in conveying darkness while still letting the audience see what’s going on. It’s a skill that modern Hollywood seems to have totally forgotten. Bilbo’s riddles in the dark with Gollum is a good endpoint for the film, with our heroes narrowly escaping the clutches of goblins and going on the run.

Riddles in the dark in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

The escape from goblin kingdom is one of the weakest points in The Hobbit movies. It relies too much on CGI, it’s too chaotic and difficult to follow, and it’s not the finale for the first chapter that many might have wanted.

Given the constraints Jackson was working with, especially the pressure he was under to get this first movie out, you have to wonder if that sequence was really what he wanted to do himself. Because that chaotic goblin scene never becomes a pattern. There’s never another confusing, distractingly CGI moment in the rest of the series, or at least not anywhere that matters. 

Escape from Goblin Kingdom in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

Sure, The Hobbit movies use more green screen and CGI than Lord of the Rings, but not nearly as much as pretty much every other Hollywood movie does. Jackson still built sets, and you feel the weight of real things being interacted with in every frame of the film.

The second Hobbit movie, The Desolation of Smaug, might be the best. The dragon is reached, battled, and sent screaming from the depths of Erebor. Martin Freeman shines as Bilbo, engaged in another battle of wits with a malevolent force, this time one that breathes fire. Thorin’s complexity only grows.

Smaug the Terrible in The Desolation of Smaug

Don’t come at me about the barrel riding scene. It’s not errible. It’s fun, really fun, and it’s something the series sets up by showing us the dexterity and skill of the dwarves in the first film’s opening moments. 

The third movie, The Battle of the Five Armies, is the biggest departure. The book itself is almost two books. The first half of it is the quest of some Dwarves and a Hobbit to get to the mountain and slay the dragon. The second half is a gigantic battle between kings and orcs for supremacy in this part of Middle-earth.

Legolas doing Legolas things in the infamous barrel riding scene.

The third movie covers that second half, which means largely sidelining most of the characters we’ve gotten to know over the first movie. Still, it brings it back to them in the end, and feels like a completed story. A real adventure. One that sticks with you, long after the credits roll.

The Hobbit Is Filmmaking At A Level Hollywood Is No Longer Capable Of

The level of quality and care established by the first film continues over all three, and matched against modern filmmaking, The Hobbit trilogy is like rediscovering Atlantis, a forgotten world of high-level storytelling that it doesn’t seem like anyone knows how to do anymore. 

At the time it was released, we were spoiled. We didn’t understand what we were experiencing. Sure, there are minor missteps and the nature of the story is different than The Lord of the Rings. Our heroes are less clearly heroic; Thorin Oakenshield, in particular, is a complex leader who makes many big mistakes, and Dwarves in general are hard to like, by design.

Those minor quibbles aside, The Hobbit trilogy is nearly as big, grand, and beautiful as its cinematic predecessor. 

Instead of celebrating the film’s incredible achievement against all odds, people nitpicked over a few dodgy green screen moments and compared it to The Lord of the Rings, which may be the greatest movie trilogy ever made, and up against which literally any movie would be found inadequate and wanting.

Looked at now through the wreckage of the unending mediocrity of modern movies, it must be said that: Holy hell, The Hobbit movies are actually really, really good. 

The Hobbit Trilogy Was A Box Office Mega-Hit

The Hobbit trilogy made a lot of money. An Unexpected Journey (2012) opened strong and rode holiday legs to about $1.02 billion worldwide. The Desolation of Smaug (2013) dipped slightly to roughly $959 million, still massive, still a global event. The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) closed things out at around $956 million, proving fatigue hadn’t killed demand. Combined, the trilogy pulled in just under $3 billion worldwide. Less than The Lord of the Rings, but way more than anything in theaters in the last few years.

Critics liked the first one, but reviews began to sour as the trilogy went on. And audiences began to lose patience, too, as The Hobbit trilogy began being labeled a desperate cash-in, a movie series squandering the goodwill created by the absolute goddamn triumph of The Lord of the Rings movies.

Why The Hobbit Failed

Despite its success, The Hobbit movies are now talked about as if they’re hated. Like critics, audiences grew increasingly lukewarm toward the movies as they watched them. Now it’s viewed as a failure, despite its financial success.

We were wrong. We were all wrong. We were all lost in the midst of a never-ending cinematic summer and had no idea that the creative winter we’re in now would soon come.

Peter Jackson basically stopped making movies after The Hobbit trilogy. His long-time collaborator, a cinematographer, Andrew Lesnie, died shortly after they finished releasing The Hobbit movies, and Peter has admitted that his heart just wasn’t in it anymore after that. 

Jackson says, “I realize that I’ve avoided doing drama films because I’d have to work with someone else who isn’t Andrew, and I think his death changed my creative path.”

We Owe Peter Jackson A Debt

When you read other things Jackson has said about the making of The Hobbit, I think it’s more than that sadness over the death of his friend. I think he simply gave all he had to give, and he had nothing left.

Peter Jackson gave it all to salvage The Hobbit from the wreckage Hollywood was creating out of it, in an era where the movie industry was already beginning to embrace anti-merit inclusivity practices and shifting its focus toward identity over quality storytelling. 

Peter Jackson filming The Lord of the Rings trilogy

If you look at photos of Peter Jackson making The Lord of the Rings, he looks like a hobbit himself. A husky, smiling man with tousled hair and tousled clothes, he looked like he’d be right at home dancing with Rosie in the Shire. 

By the time The Hobbit trilogy was over, Peter Jackson had become a drained, lifeless husk of his former self. As if he’d had all the energy sucked out of his body by the forces of Mordor. As if he’d been carrying The One Ring up Mount Doom, all by himself.

Peter Jackson filming The Hobbit trilogy

Everything Jackson had left after already nearly destroying himself to make The Lord of the Rings went into The Hobbit. He did it at a time when he should have been resting, enjoying the fruit of his rewards. Taking it easy. Living it up in New Zealand, making weird independent projects for fun. 

He did none of that; instead, he gave it all to us. He gave it all to The Hobbit. He gave it because he knew that by doing so, he was also preserving the legacy of his masterwork, THE masterwork, The Lord of the Rings.

Despite the prevailing view that The Hobbit trilogy was a failure, it isn’t. Peter Jackson succeeded. Sure, The Hobbit isn’t as good as The Lord of the Rings, but it’s still really, really good. More importantly, it continues the legacy of Jackson’s first three movies, carrying the torch of Tolkien’s Middle Earth without ever tarnishing it. How many other franchises can say that about their prequels? 

So the next time you’re watching Amazon’s terrible Rings of Power spinoff or Star Wars’s latest awful prequel, take a moment to say thank you to Peter Jackson. Thank you, Peter, thank you for preserving a beautiful legacy. Thank you for giving it all you had, against impossible odds, year after year after year, when you could have just quit. 

Enjoy your retirement, Mr. Jackson. You’ve earned it.

Thank you, Peter.


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The Bear still doesnt know how to write romance

Whenever The Bear introduces a new female character, I pray she doesn’t become a love interest for one of the male leads. Not because I hate romance, but because I specifically hate the way The Bear does romance.

The clearest offender is Carmy’s (Jeremy Allen White) relationship with Claire (Molly Gordon). A childhood friend who re-enters Carmy’s life, Claire is less a real human character than she is a walking self-help book for Carmy. She spends almost every moment she’s on screen talking about him: her memories of him, his mental health struggles, his relationship with his family. In theory, she has a life apart from Carmy — her defining character trait outside of being his girlfriend is vaguely “nurse” — but in watching The Bear, you wouldn’t know it.

Usually a great performer (see: Shiva Baby, Oh, Hi!, and more), Gordon is reduced to two modes here: luminous love interest hanging onto Carmy’s every word, or calming therapist. She’s not the only Bear character to meet this fate. As The Bear builds Ever staffer Jessica (Sarah Ramos) into a possible match for Richie (Ebon Moss-Bachrach), it replaces her level-headed expertise with empty platitudes designed to ground him. (Season 4 line “honesty is sanity” made me want to drive my head through a wall.) Elsewhere, Richie’s ex-wife, Tiffany (Gillian Jacobs), acts as a similar pillar of support.

Their heads constantly askew, their eyes lit up in adoration, their mouths always ready to offer up an eager laugh or some cornball advice, these characters morph into The Bear‘s single idea of a Woman In Love. Now, The Bear‘s standalone episode “Gary” offers a new addition to this pantheon: Sherri (Marin Ireland) from Gary, Indiana.

Sherri is a woman whom Richie and Mikey (Jon Bernthal) meet at a bar while on a work trip to Gary. She immediately strikes up a rapport with Mikey, playing a private game of “Fact or Fiction” with him, listening to his complicated woes while nestled together in a bathroom stall, and stealing his beanie and wearing it like a middle schooler trying to get a rise out of a crush. It’s a level of blindly supportive compassion we haven’t seen since Claire Bear, and Ireland, typically a huge asset to any project, soon becomes trapped in The Bear‘s love interest archetype. (Someone please ban affectionate head tilts from the set of The Bear, effective immediately.)

While Sherri feels like she was meant to be a moment of bright connection in Mikey’s life, maybe even “the one that got away,” she really just comes across as an empty vessel for him to pour his trauma into. “What are you looking for, Michael?” she wonders. Later, when he asks permission to do a bump of cocaine, she simply responds, “I want you to be you.” It’s a series of faux-deep exchanges that even two great performers can’t sell. (It doesn’t help that Bernthal and Moss-Bachrach wrote the episode.)

That faux-deepness is what sinks The Bear‘s other romances, too. The show tries to force these deep, cosmic connections, but it forgets that these relationships should be a two-way street. Perhaps that’s why many viewers are drawn to shipping Carmy and Sydney (Ayo Edebiri). While the showrunners have affirmed that their relationship is platonic — and I personally agree with that choice — what sets this hypothetical pairing apart is that they each have such rich lives, both in their work together and their time apart. That’s because The Bear is invested in both of them as characters, rather than just using one as a device to unlock the other. You simply can’t say the same of The Bear‘s other romantic pairings, and the release of “Gary” further proves that romance is the recipe The Bear has yet to master.

“Gary” is now streaming on Hulu. The Bear Season 5 premieres this June on Hulu.

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The Star Trek Sex Scene That Was Almost Too Much For Audiences

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

If there’s one thing Star Trek has always been weird about, it’s sex. Sure, The Original Series liked to titillate audiences, but broadcast restrictions kept them from getting too spicy. The Next Generation was comparatively celibate, to the point that Patrick Stewart would beg new writers to get Captain Picard laid. Eventually, the pendulum swung the other way: Discovery gave us an explicit sex scene that traumatized an unwilling participant while traumatizing the audience with the sight of naked Klingon breasts.

Obviously, it’s hard for this franchise to get sex scenes just right. When they aren’t offensive, they’re just downright goofy, like the time Dr. Crusher boned down with the Scottish bad boy that lived in her mother’s sex toy candle. Understandably, Star Trek: The Next Generation showrunner Michael Piller was worried about how audiences would react to a sex scene with Deanna Troi in “The Price” because fans kept writing in complaints before the episode even aired. But he didn’t get a single complaint after the episode, proving that audiences secretly loved seeing everyone’s favorite Betazed getting shagged!

Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E08

In “The Price,” the Enterprise is hosting a number of intergalactic dignitaries who are negotiating for the rights to a major prize: access to a seemingly stable wormhole from the Alpha Quadrant to the Gamma Quadrant. One of the negotiators is secretly empathic, so it’s no surprise when he hits it off with empathic Counselor Deanna Troi. The two form a hot and heavy sexual relationship, one that only comes to an end when Troi must reluctantly reveal how her new lover has been secretly using his own Betazed abilities to manipulate negotiations from the beginning.

When previews for “The Price” first aired, the fandom collectively decided they were going to hate the scene where Troi takes Ral (her new bad-boy boyfriend) to bed. There are many possible reasons for this. Some fans hated to see Troi hook up with anyone but Riker, her fellow officer and one true Imzadi. Meanwhile, some fans hated to see Troi hook up with anyone but themselves. Whatever their motivation, more than a few fans decided to write to the Star Trek: The Next Generation crew to complain about the impending onscreen erotica. 

“I’m Sensing Great Thickness, Captain”

Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E08

This information comes to us courtesy of Michael Piller. As written in Captains’ Logs: The Unauthorized Complete Trek Voyages, the TNG showrunner later lamented that “It was never meant to be outrageous television.” Despite this, “We got quite a few letters from outraged people before it aired.” Obviously, these fans thought Star Trek was about to get downright salacious. However, this story has an unexpected punchline: Piller noted that “nobody wrote after it aired.” The implication here is that nobody, even the fans who thought they would despise it, actually hated this sci-fi sex scene.

By today’s standards, the sex scene is relatively mild. There isn’t any nudity or simulated sex onscreen, and the whole thing was more sensual than anything else. Ral gives her a hot oil foot massage, she ends up straddling him, and the two spend plenty of time baring their souls while staring into each other’s eyes. Sure, it’s not as explicit as something you might find over on GornHub (what are you doing, step-reptile?!?), but by the standards of early ‘90s TV, this scene was downright smoking.

Star Trek: The Next Generation S03E08

Judging from the complete and utter lack of complaints, it seems like the fandom really enjoyed this sensual scene. The franchise might have had trouble getting things just right over the years, but it seems like the TNG writers and producers finally found the right recipe for a successful Star Trek sex scene. Just take half a cup of foot stuff, eight ounces of diaphonous clothing, and three cloves of Marina Sirtis on top. Throw in a spandex-clad exercise scene as an appetizer and baby, you’ve got yourself one hell of a meal!


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