Entertainment
How Jerry Seinfeld Spent $150 Million On One Throwaway Joke
By Robert Scucci
| Published
If you have enough clout in Hollywood, like Jerry Seinfeld did after his eponymous series finished its run in the late 90s, just about any idea you have while you’re still hot will be bankrolled with a blank check made out to cash. 2007’s Bee Movie is a perfect example of what happens when somebody like Steven Spielberg chats with Jerry Seinfeld, who at the time was playfully frustrated over his wife’s new beekeeping hobby. The joke suggested that his wife was having an affair with the bees, and that he should make a movie about insects that pushes this concept to the extreme.
He said he’d call it Bee Movie, or something along those lines, because of the double entendre. You know, like a B-movie, but with actual bees. This was apparently all Spielberg needed to hear to chat with DreamWorks, the company he co-founded in 1994, so Jerry Seinfeld could secure roughly $150 million and make what might be the most misguided animated kids movie to ever grace the silver screen.
Why You Gotta Bee Like That?
Bee Movie attempts to tell a wholesome story about Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld), a young honey bee who’s about to graduate and enter the workforce. Barry is immediately disillusioned by the fact that whatever career path he picks at this point in his short life cycle will be the only job he ever has until he ultimately perishes, as bees are known to do. In a stroke of luck, paired with a dash of daring insubordination, Barry’s invited to tag along with the Pollen Jocks before officially declaring a proper job.
The Pollen Jocks keep everything back at the hive running like clockwork. They’re disproportionately jacked, gather pollen, and allow all the bees back at the hive to produce that sweet, sweet nectar known as honey.
After getting separated from the pack because he’s a grossly unqualified Pollen Jock wanna-bee, Barry has a run-in with a human woman named Vanessa (Renée Zellweger) and her boyfriend Ken (Patrick Warburton). The latter tries to kill Barry because he’s allergic to bees. Vanessa, on the other hand, values all life, scolding Ken for being so aggressive toward one of God’s beautiful creatures. Naturally, Barry becomes attracted to Vanessa, and the two form an interspecies romance, which leads Bee Movie directly into its true conflict.
Barry is horrified to find out that humans collect, jar, and sell honey made by bees for profit after a trip to the grocery store with Vanessa. According to Barry, the only reasonable thing to do at this point is sue humanity for exploiting bees, which conveniently allows Jerry Seinfeld to jam in as many celebrity cameos as humanly possible, including Ray Liotta and Sting.
Do Bees Brush Their Hair With Honeycombs?
On paper, Bee Movie has all the beats you’d expect from an animated kids movie made by DreamWorks Animation or Pixar. There’s one important distinction you need to consider, however. Jerry Seinfeld’s public persona is patently unlikable by design, which is something I’ll openly admit as a fan of Seinfeld, because that’s what makes Seinfeld such a satisfying watch. That energy transfers directly over to Bee Movie, making for a confusing watch despite his best efforts.
Jerry Seinfeld’s Barry B. Benson is witty and charming, and he points out the systemic flaws surrounding bee culture in the form of oppressive work conditions made even worse by their incredibly short life spans. Barry B. Benson also asks the Pollen Jocks what pollen is. Barry B. Benson romantically pursues a human woman while simultaneously undermining her live-in boyfriend’s relationship with her. Barry B. Benson, who has no legal experience and confirms earlier in the movie that he doesn’t know how to tell time, somehow represents every single bee in the world in a massive class action lawsuit against the entire human race.
Oh yeah, and Barry B. Benson, after realizing the error of his ways, casually suggests a suicide pact with Vanessa when his plan epically backfires and puts the entire world in jeopardy.
What’s All The Buzz About?
A tonally disjointed mess of a kids movie, Bee Movie has rightfully earned its cult status after the internet turned the entire thing into a meme in 2015. Its storylines and in-universe logic make absolutely no sense, which is a fundamental filmmaking problem because movies are supposed to tell coherent stories. The result is a surreal, half-baked, high-budget mess of one-liners, bee puns, and implied interspecies erotica that anybody could get bee-hind if they’re in the right mood for it.
Bee Movie is dripping with Seinfeldian humor, and that adds to its charm in small doses. Jerry Seinfeld has a grating personality, and much of his humor is based on complaining about trivial, relatable things. The problem is that bees aren’t relatable, and making an entire movie about Jerry Seinfeld working out his bee-based puns is something you truly have to see to bee-lieve. Of course the internet hivemind would chomp at the bit years after the film’s initial release, because it’s simply too weird not to celebrate for its inherent audacity alone.
As of this writing, Bee Movie is available for on-demand rentals and purchases through YouTube, Apple TV+, Prime Video, and Fandango at Home.
Entertainment
Sukhie’s Lipstick Trick Is Too Good
Do you have a holy-grail beauty product or trick? A few months back, Joanna shared five products she swears by, and it got us thinking about the tried-and-true favorites we’re devoted to: the nail polish we go back to over and over again; the world’s best-smelling sunscreen; that one little tip that totally changed the way we do our hair (for me, it was this post!). This week, after seeing Sukhie Patel’s gorgeous lipstick on Instagram, we asked her to share her secrets. And boy did she deliver…
Sukhie’s lipstick trick: “I apply a thin layer of Anastasia Lipstick in American Doll, blur the edges around my lip line with my pinkie, then add a layer of Weleda Skin Food, which keeps my lips moisturized all day.” How gorgeous is the effect?
The duo works for blush, too. “Next, on the back of my hand, I mix a tiny dollop of Skin Food with liquid lipstick, and dab it on my cheeks for a sheer, glossy blush that inherently compliments my lips,” says Sukhie. “Finally, I add a couple dots of plain Skin Food to the tops of my cheekbones as a highlighter — et voila.”
How about her runners up? “My magical mousse for curly hair gwôrls: Evo Whip It Good — I even buy travel bottles for work trips. Plus, skin scrubby mitts, the bulk bag of Epsom salts (16 oz tins in this economy?!), Clinique bottom lash mascara that gives a kitten flick at the corners of your lashes and doubles as an eyebrow gel; and using my electric toothbrush in the shower to combat sensory challenges.”
Thank you, Sukhie!
Do you have a favorite product or trick? In the past, we asked folks about their beauty uniforms. Now we want to know about your heroes: those few things you will love forever. More posts like this coming up soon. xo
P.S. Sukhie’s week of outfits, and the random $10 beauty product we swear by.
Entertainment
How to unblock Pornhub for free in Texas
TL;DR: Unblock Pornhub from Texas with a VPN. The best service for unblocking porn sites is ExpressVPN.
More than a third of U.S. states have introduced age verification laws for online adult content, including Texas. In response, Pornhub banned access for users in those locations. That means millions of users in Texas are now unable to access Pornhub.
There are complicated reasons for this restriction, but the workaround is simple. If you want to unblock porn sites like Pornhub for free from Texas, we have all the information you need.
How to unblock Pornhub for free in Texas
VPNs are useful tools that can hide your real IP address (digital location) and connect you to secure servers in other locations. This straightforward process bypasses geo-restrictions so you can access sites like Pornhub from anywhere in the world.
Unblock Pornhub by following these simple steps:
Mashable Trend Report
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Sign up for a VPN (like ExpressVPN)
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Download the app to your device of choice (the best VPNs have apps for Windows, Mac, iOS, Android, Linux, and more)
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Open up the app and connect to a server in a location that supports access to Pornhub
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Visit Pornhub
$139 only at ExpressVPN (with money-back guarantee)
The best VPNs for unblocking porn sites are not free, but most do offer free-trial peiods or money-back guarantees. By leveraging these offers, you can unblock porn sites like Pornhub without actually spending anything. This is obviously not a long-term solution, but it does give you the opportunity to temporarily retain access to Pornhub before recovering your investment.
If you want to retain permanent access to sites like Pornhub, you’ll need a subscription. Fortunately, the best VPN for bypassing content restrictions is on sale for a limited time.
What is the best VPN for Pornhub?
ExpressVPN is the top choice for unblocking porn sites like Pornhub, for a number of reasons:
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Servers in 105 countries
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Easy-to-use app available on all major devices including iPhone, Android, Windows, Mac, and more
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Strict no-logging policy so your data is always secure
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Fast streaming speeds free from throttling
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Up to eight simultaneous connections
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30-day money-back guarantee
A two-year subscription to ExpressVPN is on sale for $139 and includes an extra four months for free — 61% off for a limited time. This plan also includes a year of free unlimited cloud backup and a generous 30-day money-back guarantee.
Unblock Pornhub for free in Texas with ExpressVPN.
Entertainment
Perfect, Forgotten 80s Thriller Is Hitchcock Meets Mad Max
By Robert Scucci
| Published
Road thrillers always make for a great time because there is nothing more unnerving than barreling down the highway when you are either in danger yourself or trying to help somebody else who might be. 1981’s Road Games, an Australian thriller that plays like a strange middle ground between Mad Max and a Hitchcock-style serial killer story, has no shortage of tense moments. It shows just how badly the road can mess with your head after a long day’s work as a commercial trucker who just wants to grab a few hours of sleep between jobs. Perspectives grow hazy, lines begin to blur, and you are almost certain you have seen that green van and its driver doing something suspicious on multiple occasions, even if you cannot quite prove what they are up to.
A tense, white knuckle experience from start to finish, Road Games is a lean thriller built around an exceedingly simple plot. That simplicity should not lull you into a false sense of security, though, because not everything is what it seems, especially once the horizon darkens, the road goes quiet, and a radio news broadcast suggests you may be sharing the highway with somebody who is very, very dangerous.
A Road Best Left Untraveled
Road Games introduces us to trucker Patrick Quid (Stacy Keach) and his pet dingo, Boswell. Patrick makes a point of telling anyone who will listen that there is a difference between a man who drives a truck and a trucker, implying that he views his current line of work as something beneath him, even if it pays the bills for now. He travels alone with Boswell, often taking back-to-back jobs against his better judgment. There is nothing to suggest Patrick is unstable, but his dispatcher encourages him to push through sleep deprivation with caffeine pills so he can take on more work.
While sleeping in his truck outside a motel one night, Patrick notices a man driving a suspicious looking green van who checks in with a female hitchhiker. The next morning, Patrick sees the man leave alone after stopping at the dumpster and climbing into the van before heading back out onto the road.
Once he is driving again, Patrick encounters a recurring group of colorful characters. There is an elderly man hauling a boat, a face-masked motorcyclist who keeps popping up, a nagging woman named Frita (Marion Edward) and her visibly annoyed husband, and another woman standing roadside looking for a ride. Against his better judgment and company regulations, Patrick picks up Frita after her husband abandons her on the side of the road. During this stretch, he spots the green van again, this time catching its driver burying suspicious looking bags in the desert and carrying around a small cooler.
Frita becomes uneasy with Patrick’s calm attitude about the encounter, especially after hearing a radio report about a possible serial killer operating in the area. She eventually parts ways with him, but not before Patrick picks up the hitchhiker he passed earlier, known only as Hitch (Jamie Lee Curtis). The two hit it off almost immediately, and Hitch reveals herself to be Pamela Rushworth, the heiress of a wealthy US diplomat who wanted to go on an adventure of her own, suggesting that she may have been reported missing from her high-profile life. As Patrick continues his route with Pamela, the green van keeps resurfacing, prompting them to investigate its driver under the assumption that he is the killer mentioned in the news.
A Series Of Escalating Events
As sleep deprivation takes hold, Pat and Pamela get separated, and Pat finds himself unsure of who he can trust. Everywhere he turns, the green van seems to be there. He starts pushing his truck at reckless RPMs to make his delivery on time, becoming increasingly unhinged along the way. Pat is convinced he needs to track down the green van to stop anyone else from getting hurt, but things spiral further when Frita reports him to the authorities. She suggests that Pat himself might be the killer, and that the story about the green van is nothing more than a distraction.
As Pat unravels while searching for Pamela and the van, all while evading police and trying to finish his route, his sanity is put into question. Every possible pressure point is hit, and Pat is fully aware that he is starting to lose his grip. With law enforcement closing in, his hitchhiker companion missing, and the green van’s driver still at large, Pat is forced to pull himself together and see his increasingly bizarre job through before the road swallows him whole.
Road Games toys with the familiar tropes you see in films like the grossly underrated Black Dog. Hallucinations feel inevitable, and the job itself takes a back seat to the strange, inexplicable encounters that keep piling up. Stacy Keach’s straight faced performance as an expatriate American trucker tearing through the Australian outback with a pet dingo is half the fun. His deadpan presence grounds the film even as everything around him starts to feel unreliable.
If you want to find out whether Pat finally snaps or if the world around him is the real problem in Road Games, you can fire it up on Tubi, where it is currently streaming for free.
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Sukhie’s Lipstick Trick Is Too Good
