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Extremely R-Rated Thriller Is So Relentlessly Tasteless, You Need To Watch It Twice

By Robert Scucci
| Published

I love a good parody film when done right, especially when they fall into the police procedural wheelhouse. The Naked Gun franchise perfected the formula, and even had a surprisingly solid reboot last year, with Liam Neeson taking over for Leslie Nielsen. One film that was eaten alive by critics, 1993’s Fatal Instinct, is another favorite of mine despite its 14 percent critical score on Rotten Tomatoes. While the film follows in the footsteps of The Naked Gun, it’s often dismissed as a cheap imitation and a lackluster Basic Instinct parody.

Which brings us to 1996’s Blondes Have More Guns, which is basically an even cheaper, more tasteless version of Fatal Instinct, thanks to Troma Entertainment’s involvement. For some reason, though, I love it. It’s a movie that plays the numbers game when it comes to jokes-per-minute, and more often than not, they don’t land. But this is one of those rare cases where I found myself laughing at the jokes that don’t land because I admire the audacity. They’re throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, and the pace is so rapid-fire that you need to watch it twice to catch everything you missed the first time around.

Dick, Harry, And Captain Hook Are On The Case! 

Blondes Have More Guns 1996

Blondes Have More Guns begins with a blonde woman wielding a chainsaw, not a gun. She murders a man while bumping uglies, and the next day’s crime scene introduces us to grossly incompetent Detectives Dick Smoker (Richard Neil) and Harry Bates (Michael McGaharn), under the supervision of their vodka-chugging superior, Captain Hook (André Brazeau). Tagging along with Dick is his dog, which is really just an uncredited guy in a dog suit who comes and goes as he pleases.

Right away, the detectives find a suspect in Montana Beaver-Shotz (Elizabeth Key), but things become even more complicated when her half-sister, Dakota Beaver (Gloria Lusiak), starts making her presence known and implicating herself in the murder, which is just one of many linked to a possible serial killer on the loose.

Blondes Have More Guns 1996

Harry, haunted by the death of his wife to the point where he constantly has to remind everybody that his wife is dead to maintain the hard-boiled noir vibe, becomes romantically entangled with Montana and Dakota, clouding his judgment during the investigation. From here, Blondes Have More Guns becomes complete chaos and follows all the Naked Gun beats you know and love, but uses vulgarity as its main vehicle to get where it’s going.

So Stupid That It’s Smart

If there’s one quote that sums up Blondes Have More Guns, it’s in the opening scene, when Captain Hook, in between huge gulps of liquor, states, “Look, Harry, this is the fourth murder this month involving a scarf, a chain, a saw, and a dead body. If I was a betting man, I’d wager there was a connection between them.” Everybody is so stupid in this film that it’s clear how much thought went into the screenplay, as juvenile and tasteless as it is. The wit comes from how dimwitted every single character is.

Blondes Have More Guns 1996

Jamming as many sight gags as humanly possible into every frame is just the icing on the cake in Blondes Have More Guns. After a while, the mystery and plot take a back seat so we can feast our eyes on two idiots wearing badges who don’t know their asses from a doughnut hole. It’s such a treat watching this gaggle of clowns commit so hard to the bit.

Movies like Blondes Have More Guns always earn my respect because they go all in on absurdity. It doesn’t hurt that this is basically Naked Gun meets Fatal Instinct, but with as much toilet humor and oversexed dialogue as Troma could cram into it.

Blondes Have More Guns 1996

BLONDES HAVE MORE GUNS SCORE

Blondes Have More Guns isn’t high art. Heck, some people would argue it’s not art at all. But it’s a glorious trainwreck that leans into neo-noir mystery, police procedural drama, and straight-faced buffoonery that fans of tasteless parody can absolutely get behind. If you want to solve the mystery for yourself, you can stream the title for free on Tubi as of this writing.

Blondes Have More Guns 1996


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Entertainment

NYT Connections hints today: Clues, answers for May 30, 2026

The NYT Connections puzzle today is not too difficult if you have a good head on your shoulders.

Connections is the one of the most popular New York Times word games that’s captured the public’s attention. The game is all about finding the “common threads between words.” And just like Wordle, Connections resets after midnight and each new set of words gets trickier and trickier—so we’ve served up some hints and tips to get you over the hurdle.

If you just want to be told today’s puzzle, you can jump to the end of this article for today’s Connections solution. But if you’d rather solve it yourself, keep reading for some clues, tips, and strategies to assist you.

What is Connections?

The NYT‘s latest daily word game has become a social media hit. The Times credits associate puzzle editor Wyna Liu with helping to create the new word game and bringing it to the publications’ Games section. Connections can be played on both web browsers and mobile devices and require players to group four words that share something in common.

Each puzzle features 16 words and each grouping of words is split into four categories. These sets could comprise of anything from book titles, software, country names, etc. Even though multiple words will seem like they fit together, there’s only one correct answer.

If a player gets all four words in a set correct, those words are removed from the board. Guess wrong and it counts as a mistake—players get up to four mistakes until the game ends.

Players can also rearrange and shuffle the board to make spotting connections easier. Additionally, each group is color-coded with yellow being the easiest, followed by green, blue, and purple. Like Wordle, you can share the results with your friends on social media.

Here’s a hint for today’s Connections categories

Want a hint about the categories without being told the categories? Then give these a try:

  • Yellow: Not happening

  • Green: Reasonable

  • Blue: Keyboard symbols

  • Purple: Famous tunes

Here are today’s Connections categories

Need a little extra help? Today’s connections fall into the following categories:

Looking for Wordle today? Here’s the answer to today’s Wordle.

Ready for the answers? This is your last chance to turn back and solve today’s puzzle before we reveal the solutions.

Drumroll, please!

The solution to today’s Connections #1084 is…

What is the answer to Connections today

  • “In your dreams”: IMPOSSIBLE, NEVER, NO WAY, SORRY

  • Sensible: CLEAR, LUCID, RIGHT, SOUND

  • Typographical symbols: BRACE, CARET, PIPE, TILDE

  • Song of the Year nominees at the first Grammy Awards: FEVER, GIGI, VOLARE, WITCHCRAFT

Don’t feel down if you didn’t manage to guess it this time. There will be new Connections for you to stretch your brain with tomorrow, and we’ll be back again to guide you with more helpful hints.

Are you also playing NYT Strands? Get all the Strands hints you need for today’s puzzle.

If you’re looking for more puzzles, Mashable’s got games now! Check out our games hub for Mahjong, Sudoku, free crossword, and more.

Not the day you’re after? Here’s the solution to yesterday’s Connections.


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Vin Diesel's Perfect, R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller Is Finally Coming To Netflix

By Jonathan Klotz
| Published

Before The Fast and the Furious, before The Last Witch Hunter, Vin Diesel was able to create a franchise out of a low-budget sci-fi horror film with barely any plot, through sheer force of personality. His deep voice, ability to show no emotion, and action star physique helped turn his role as Riddick into a star-making performance. The 2000 sci-fi horror Pitch Black is coming to Netflix on June 1, and there’s never a bad time to remind yourself why Vin Diesel became a superstar. 

Riddick Is Vin Diesel’s Best Character

Pitch Black 2000

No one thought Pitch Black would launch a franchise when it debuted in February 2000, the dumping ground for Hollywood studios, but that’s what happened. Diesel’s Riddick makes his first appearance as a prisoner onboard a doomed shuttle crash landing on a planet about to experience a total eclipse for the first time in 22 years. That’s relevant for two convenient reasons: one, the massive horde of flying predators destroyed by sunlight, and two, Riddick had a prison doctor operate on his eyes giving him “shine,” and now he can see in the dark. Relying on a wanted criminal and known killer for salvation are the various miners (including Farscape’s Claudia Black), pilgrims, and tourists also onboard the shuttle. It’s a very simple plot but it works. 

The simplicity plays to Vin Diesel’s strengths as an actor, namely, his physical presence or as the kids say, aura farming, and not his emoting. Ironically, showing the taciturn Riddick fighting against the feelings of compassion and kindness is Diesel’s best acting work. He turns the one-note tough guy character into a star-making performance with a few grunts and a single kind gesture. 

Keep It Simple Stupid

Pitch Black 2000

Simple doesn’t always mean bad. Pitch Black wisely uses the darkness to obscure the deadly nocturnal predators as much as possible in both a budget saving move, and one that means the tension cranks up without anything actually happening on screen. Audiences loved it, earning the film over $50 million during its theatrical run before becoming a best-selling DVD release. It did so well, director and writer David Twohy reunited with Diesel for the sequel, The Chronicles of Riddick, which ditched the survival horror elements of the original film and replaced them with deep lore, dozens of characters, multiple deep space factions, and Dame Judi Dench as an Air Elemental. 

The third film in the franchise, Riddick, went back to the simple survival story of Pitch Black, and again, it was a hit, reinforcing that Diesel works best in small scale films. You might be thinking, The Fast and The Furious isn’t small scale, but think back, and the entire plot centered on stealing VCRs. That’s grounded and realistic compared to what came next. Fans of Diesel’s sci-fi franchise can only hope that the upcoming fourth film, Furya, is more Pitch Black and less Chronicles of Riddick

Pitch Black 2000

All three of the Riddick films are now available on Netflix. If you haven’t watched Pitch Black in decades, it’s a great time to give it a rewatch. In retrospect, the tight plot and single setting is quaint. In a good way. There was a time when an original sci-fi film with no star power behind it could go wide in theaters, earn millions of dollars, and create a new fanbase out of thin air. 

Starting on June 1, you can catch Pitch Black on Netflix.


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New Star Wars Movie Failed By Solving Marvel’s Biggest Problem

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

Right now, it’s fair to say that Disney is a victim of its own success. The House of Mouse decided to get into the streaming game with Disney+, and they made this new platform the home of all things Marvel and Star Wars. They succeeded in containing the world’s two biggest intellectual properties under one roof, but this came at a cost. The MCU began to suffer under its own weight, and fans began to resent many of the new shows on Disney+. The most common complaint is that most of these series felt like annoying “homework” they had to watch just to understand the next big Marvel movie.

Is that criticism fair? That’s debatable. While some Marvel shows on Disney+ stand alone, some are basically required viewing if you want to follow along with the newest films. However, when watching The Mandalorian and Grogu, I couldn’t help but feel like movie writer Dave Filoni was trying to avoid comparisons to Marvel by creating a movie that required no homework whatsoever. He succeeded in making a movie that fans could enjoy even if they’ve ignored Star Wars for the last two decades. This approach backfired, though. While the latest Star Wars is amazingly accessible, it’s so disconnected from the franchise that it feels completely meaningless

Way Too Much Homework

Complaints about Marvel TV shows feeling like homework are tied to broader debates about what, exactly, a movie should be. Many like the idea of a film as being a self-contained unit of entertainment unto itself. This is one (admittedly, of many) problem that certain Star Wars fans had with the Prequel Trilogy and the Sequel Trilogy: interesting characters like Count Dooku and Snoke are placed onscreen with no real introduction or fanfare. The assumption made by those in charge of Star Wars (George Lucas and, later, Disney) is that fans could simply get these characters’ backstories in various books and comics and didn’t need to see it onscreen.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe took this idea and made it much, much worse. You had to watch entire films (like the solo Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America movies) to really understand big team-ups like The Avengers. Later, Disney+ became home to shows you had to watch ahead of movies. Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness makes no sense without watching WandaVision, for example, and The Marvels makes no sense without watching Ms. Marvel. This led to widespread fan complaints that Disney had basically assigned homework and that we’d need to watch eight hours of a TV show just to understand a movie. 

No Homework (And No Meaning)

Initially, this wasn’t really a problem with Star Wars because The Rise of Skywalker was so bad that we went seven years before seeing a new film in the franchise. That meant that various Disney+ shows in a galaxy far, far away could mostly stand on their own. But The Mandalorian and Grogu finally brought Star Wars back to theaters, and we’ll be getting more franchise films (like Starfighter) in the coming years. Mandalorian and Grogu writer and new Lucasfilm President Dave Filoni seemingly tried to avoid the homework problem by making a movie that requires almost no prior Star Wars viewing whatsoever, a decision that became something of a double-edged sword.

On one hand, Filoni made The Mandalorian and Grogu the most accessible Star Wars film since A New Hope. If someone only vaguely remembers an episode or two of The Mandalorian Season 1, they can follow along. They know the title characters, and Din Djarin even gets a new version of his old ship back. Even if you’re a Star Wars fan who never watched the show at all, it’s easy to follow along with the plot. The Boba Fett-looking man and his Baby Yoda sidekick are the good guys, the Stormtroopers are the bad guys, and all you have to do is turn your brain off and watch. 

Two Hours Of Your Life You’ll Never Get Back

the mandalorian season 4

On the other hand, Filoni’s ultra-accessible writing is a big part of why The Mandalorian and Grogu failed. The movie doesn’t touch on or resolve any of the major plot points from The Mandalorian or advance Din Djarin or Grogu’s characters in any meaningful way. It’s such a disposable plot that if The Mandalorian ever gets a Season 4, you could skip the film entirely before watching the new season. If the show doesn’t get another season, though, this movie is the worst kind of finale for these characters because there are no significant payoffs to ongoing mysteries like Grogu’s past or Din Djarin’s future with the Mandalorians and the New Republic.

All of this underscores how cynical The Mandalorian and Grogu really is. Disney didn’t create this movie to provide an emotionally rewarding sendoff, and they obviously didn’t make it because the writers had a great story to tell. No, the House of Mouse just wanted to put Star Wars back in theaters with a film that would wash The Rise of Skywalker out of our mouths. The idea is to prime audiences for more Star Wars films in the coming years, but the effort backfired. If this is the best thing you can put onscreen today, why would anyone spend good money to see the crap you put onscreen tomorrow?

So, congrats, Dave Filoni (and cowriters Jon Favreau and Noah Kloor): you played yourself. You solved the homework problem that has plagued Marvel by creating the most accessible Star Wars film in half a century. But the result is a disconnected mess, one that pisses off fans of The Mandalorian while making everyone else wonder why this film was even made. At least failures like the prequels and the sequels were trying to tell a meaningful and impactful story. All that The Mandalorian and Grogu is telling us is that Yoda’s admonition of Count Dooku applies very much to Clone Wars showrunner Filoni: “much to learn, you still have.”


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