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Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Cosplays As Ugly Misfit In Raunchy 80s Sci-Fi Adventure

By Robert Scucci
| Updated

Back in the 80s, being ugly on screen basically meant throwing a pair of glasses and some baggy clothes on a smokin’ hot babe. The most blatant case of this, at least to my knowledge, is 1988’s Alien from L.A., starring Kathy Ireland, who not only appeared in 13 consecutive Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, but also landed on the cover three times.

In the movie, which plays like a strange combination of The Wizard of Oz and Journey to the Center of the Earth, our hero sets out to find the lost city of Atlantis, rescue her missing father, overcome her alleged homeliness, and show her surface-dwelling ex-boyfriend what he’s missing out on, all before riding off into the sunset on her new dude’s motorcycle.

Ironically, Alien from L.A., a direct-to-VHS outing, was followed by its straight-to-video sequel, Journey to the Center of the Earth (1989). After watching this one, I don’t think I’ll be watching that one. But it exists, and both titles are streaming on Tubi, so you can do whatever you want with that information.

These Glasses Are Holding Me Back! 

Alien from L.A. 1988

Alien from L.A. is insulting to your intelligence in just about every way. We’re introduced to Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland), a woman who clearly hits the gym nine days a week, has long, flowing hair, and legs for days. If only it weren’t for those pesky glasses that are supposed to convince the viewer she’s a dud, as if no mortal man has ever fantasized about a sexy librarian. She also speaks in an incredibly squeaky voice that becomes a running joke.

Anyhow, her boyfriend Robbie (Don Michael Paul) dumps her for not being adventurous, whatever that means, and this sends our covert hottie on a soul-searching excursion to Zamboanga, North Africa, in search of her long-lost father, Professor Arnold Saknussemm (Richard Haines). As the legend goes, Arnold disappeared while searching for the lost city of Atlantis, claiming the city is of alien origin.

Alien from L.A. 1988

While digging through her father’s belongings, Wanda falls into a seemingly bottomless pit and eventually ends up in a strange underground society inhabited by miners who have never breached the surface. Though these inhabitants look just like humans, they refer to Wanda as an alien. Soon enough, she learns what’s truly at stake, but only after a bounty is placed on her head for invading their community.

What follows is a series of events involving a miner named Gus (William R. Moses), a shadowy government conspiracy led by General Rykov (Janie Du Plessis) tied to her imprisoned father, a steady stream of jokes about Wanda’s squeaky voice (it’s an affectation, she can stop talking like this whenever she wants), and a hunky rogue agent named Charmin’ (Thom Mathews).

Truly Terrible, But Also Kind Of Fun

After sitting through Alien from L.A., I’m still not sure what to make of it. It’s contrived, overtly campy, and the hero’s journey never fully clicks. When the film finally wraps, Robbie sees Wanda in a bikini and suddenly realizes he was dating a stone cold fox the entire time. Of course, this happens after Wanda wakes up from her “dream” and, in a clear callback to The Wizard of Oz, says as much.

If the movie has anything going for it, it’s the set design, which is actually pretty neat in that kitschy, low-budget way. Think foam rock formations with dry ice pumping behind them, along with some surprisingly fun city shots that give everything a cartoony vibe. Throw in Deep Roy’s Mambino character with the comically long eyelashes that are never explained, and you’ve got a bizarre viewing experience that won’t teach you anything new and might actually make you a little dumber in the process.

As of this writing, you can stream Alien from L.A. and its sequel, Journey to the Center of the Earth, for free on Tubi.


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Iconic Star Trek Character Was Written So Badly, The Showrunner Intervened

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

Here’s a story that dates me (hey, it’s not like anyone else was dating me at the time): I was a high school student when Star Trek: Voyager was on the air. I watched the show with the rest of my geeky friends, and we generally enjoyed the wacky adventures of Captain Janeway and her misfit crew. We also spent hours (and I mean hours) making fun of Neelix. He was the ship’s cook, but he might as well have been its mascot because he was always written as the broadest form of comic relief. Why, we wondered, did Star Trek go out of its way to make a new character such a butt-of-the-joke oaf?

As it turns out, Voyager showrunner Michael Piller shared those same concerns. When reading the script for the Season 2 episode “Twisted,” he began to worry that the writers were transforming Neelix into nothing more than “the buffoon of the ship.” That’s when Piller decided to take definitive action. He didn’t make Neelix into a deadly serious character, but he decided to do the next best thing. In the very next episode, he removed the character’s growing jealous streak that he rightly assumed viewers would absolutely hate.

Orange Man Bad

This all goes back to the most problematic thing about Neelix: his extremely underage girlfriend. In the Voyager premiere episode “Caretaker,” Neelix goes out of his way to save Kes, his Ocampan mate, and they both join Captain Janeway’s crew. Kes presents as an attractive young woman in her early ‘20s, but her species ages at a different rate than those of us here on Earth. She’s only one year old when she joins the crew (no, really!), and the writers had to take care not to present Neelix as the dirtiest old man in the Delta Quadrant.

That’s actually how Michael Piller’s concerns about Neelix began. The previous episode, “Elogium,” dealt with Kes’s mating drive activating years ahead of time, forcing her and Neelix to consider whether they were ready for children. While it’s bizarre enough to watch the weird orange alien try to figure out if he is ready to breed his one-year-old girlfriend, “Elogium” also made Neelix into a jealous figure. Specifically, he started thinking Tom Paris was being too friendly towards her and that the pilot was secretly trying to put the moves on Kes.

Jealousy, That Orange-Skinned Monster

When Piller read the script for “Twisted,” he became concerned about an early plot point in which the crew was celebrating Kes’s birthday (she had finally turned two). Neelix made her a cake, but Tom Paris gave her a locket. Once more, Neelix felt jealous of the hotshot human pilot. According to Captains’ Logs Supplemental – The Unauthorized Guide to the New Trek Voyages, Piller was “terribly concerned about Neelix.” He was “afraid we were going to destroy this character if we made him the buffoon of the ship. If all he is is comic relief, we’re in trouble.”

For better or for worse, Piller decided to focus on only one of the ways the writers had transformed Neelix into the comic relief: his jealousy.  “The jealousy he was showing toward Kes was becoming irritating, so we wanted to put that to bed quickly,” he said. Accordingly, Piller made sure that “Parturition” (the episode that came directly after “Twisted”) killed this particular character conflict. That episode begins with Neelix and Paris having a fight over Kes, but then they are sent on a mission where they crash land on a hellish planet. They must fight for their survival and take care of a baby alien, ultimately becoming friends who never fight over Kes again.

It’s a heavy-handed fix, admittedly, but Michael Piller’s decision is one that Gene Roddenberry would have agreed with. The Star Trek creator never wanted his main characters to constantly bicker with one another, but Paris and Neelix were constantly fighting over Kes. Thanks to “Parturition,” Piller effectively killed the conflict that was driving these two characters apart. If you think that kept Neelix from being written as bad comic relief, though, I’ve got a whole shipload full of leola roots to sell you!


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The Most Banned Series In America Is About To Blow Up On Netflix

By Jonathan Klotz
| Updated

When someone says they’re an anime fan, it can mean anything. That’s the equivalent of saying “I like watching TV.” Anime is a huge swath of genres, stories, franchises, movies, and shows about anything you can possibly imagine. Who knew a show about giant, naked people would turn out to be one of the best anime of all time? And who would have thought that an anime about an ultrapowerful octopus who destroys the Moon and finds meaning in life working as a teacher for underprivileged children tasked by the Japanese government to kill him before he destroys the planet would be such a touching, thought-provoking, and humorous series?

That’s Assassination Classroom, and with its arrival on Netflix, it’s going to become even more popular. Then again, that also means even more people will judge it for its name, which, coincidentally, plays into one of the themes of your next favorite series. 

Assassination Classroom Is Not What It Sounds Like

Assassination Classroom 2015

Assassination Classroom starts off with the mystery of how this strange, yellow creature managed to destroy the Moon. For what purpose? Why is the Earth going to be next? And why does the creature agree to become a teacher for a year, with the instruction that one of his students will be the one to kill him? Finally, why is the creature, named Koro-sensei by his students, so good at the job? 

The Junior High students in Class 3-E are the real stars of the series, which quickly reveals itself to be more classroom than assassination. Sure, there’s other assassins that show up periodically, but the real joy of Assassination Classroom is to be found in the comedy of Koro-sensei’s hijinks while imparting real life lessons. 

Assassination Classroom 2015

Season 1 follows the basic plot of the students bonding with Koro-sensei and grappling with the idea that, eventually, they will have to kill him. It can be a little slow, and the humor isn’t for everyone, but then Season 2 hits, and the entire series takes off with the speed of a bullet train. By the end, you’ll not only have your own favorite among the students of Class 3-E, but you’ll wish you had Koro-sensei as a teacher. 

Assassination Classroom Faces Constant Bans And Boycotts

Assassination Classroom 2015

If Assassination Classroom is an emotional, comedic version of Dead Poet’s Society, then why has it joined a very different type of school anime and been banned in over 50 libraries and school districts across the United States? The name, for one, as Assassination Classroom puts an image in your head that’s technically correct, but there’s so much more to the story than that. Secondly, students having to kill their teacher sounds horrible in a vacuum, but in context, it’s an uplifting journey. Those who pushed for the bans never read the manga, never saw the anime, and, honestly, they likely haven’t read a book since eighth grade. 

Now that Assassination Classroom is coming to Netflix in May, you can experience the journey of Koro-sensei and Class 3-E for yourself. Lerche, the animation studio behind the series, isn’t a huge name in anime, but they went on to animate Dangonronpa 3 and Classroom of the Elite, making them the go-to for a very specific anime niche. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be impressed at Lerche’s animation style, and in the end, you’ll wonder how one of the best series of the last decade could be hidden away from those who would enjoy it the most.

Assassination Classroom 2015


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Ask.com shuts down after 30 years

Ask.com, originally founded as the Y2K stalwart Ask Jeeves, is officially dead.

“As IAC continues to sharpen its focus, we have made the decision to discontinue our search business, which includes Ask.com. After 25 years of answering the world’s questions, Ask.com officially closed on May 1, 2026,” the homepage now reads.

Ask Jeeves was launched in 1997 by the Berkeley-based duo Garrett Gruener and David Warthen, a year before Google’s now-dominant search engine debuted to the masses. At the time, Ask Jeeves’ natural language processing, combined with its personality-filled voice and branding, made it the go-to web search and answer engine for early internet adopters. The website’s butler mascot, Jeeves, modeled after the P.G. Wodehouse character, made appearances at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, holding its own against other iconic corporate logos of the early 2000s.

“Can one man have all the answers?” If he has access to the entire internet, absolutely.

But while many still refer to the site by its 1990s name, Ask.com hasn’t been “Ask Jeeves” for nearly 20 years, with the brand dropping the latter word and its valet logo in 2006. The shift came after a change in ownership, when the brand was transferred to American holding company IAC. In 2009, Ask.com was dubbed the official search engine of NASCAR.

“We are deeply grateful to the brilliant engineers, designers, and teams who built and supported Ask over the decades. And to you — the millions of users who turned to us for answers in a rapidly changing world — thank you for your endless curiosity, your loyalty, and your trust,” Ask.com reads. “Jeeves’ spirit endures.”

Amid an overwhelming shift toward generative AI-powered search engines and a repositioning of AI agents as the future of web browsing, the loss of Ask.com feels like a true end of the early dot-com era. So long Jeeves, hello AI.

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