Entertainment
Jet Li's New Martial Arts Epic Is Like Mad Max On Horseback, Incredible
By Chris Sawin
| Published
Blades of the Guardians is a martial arts film adaptation of a 12-volume manhua (Chinese manga), Biao Ren (Guardian), which was also adapted into a 15-episode donghua (Chinese anime) in 2023. The film is directed by Yuen Woo-ping, who is one of the most well-known Hong Kong action film directors and action choreographers, and has been an active filmmaker for the past five decades.
Some of Yuen Woo-ping’s directing credits include Drunken Master, Iron Monkey, and Tai Chi Master. Some of his action choreography credits include Fist of Legend, the original Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill, Unleashed, The Grandmaster, and Ip Man 3 & 4.
The film follows a bounty hunter named Dao Ma (Jing Wu, the Wolf Warrior films) traveling with a little boy named Xiao Qi (Charles Ju). In the opening of the film, Dao Ma becomes the second most wanted fugitive in the land. The leader of the flower rebellion, Zhi Shilang (Sun Yizhou), is the most wanted fugitive. Dao Ma is entrusted with an escort mission to take Zhi Shilang to Chang’an. They must travel across the desert as every clan and bounty hunter wants a piece of Zhi Shilang’s gargantuan bounty.
As a general rule, you never go into a martial arts epic with the expectation that the story will be well thought out or even coherent. Blades of the Guardians has this Journey to the West meets Mad Max-on-horseback kind of ambiance that generally works. At just over two hours, the film feels a little long in places, especially in the second half. It feels like the story purposely stalls as well to cram in a few more action sequences and leave room for a potential sequel if the film does well enough to become a franchise.
The general idea is that the story is always moving. These characters are constantly traveling and encountering a plethora of other eccentric characters along the way. The action isn’t a detour where everything stops as it’s purposely intertwined into the narrative. The action is meant to emphasize a character’s motivation or alliance, as each punch, kick, and weapon swing carries meaning.
Every shot of Blades of the Guardians is gorgeous thanks to cinematographer Tony Cheung Tung-Leung (14 Blades, Drunken Master II). The film has a $100 million budget, and it shows. Visual effects are extraordinary throughout, but the way Blades of the Guardians makes desert terrain look so colorful is even more wondrous. The film was shot in the real desert regions of western China, so most of the environments are genuine and not green-screen. Taking place in the desert, you’d expect Blades of the Guardians to be a dull kind of tan throughout, but it’s surprisingly lush-looking with nearly every color you can think of.
The action is interesting, not just because it’s visually impressive, but the training and preparation for Blades of the Guardians sounds rigorous and extensive. Actors performed their own stunts whenever possible and constantly trained in horseback riding, weapon handling, and hand-to-hand combat. Most of the cast brought their own experience in martial arts, sports, and even opera, but the training continued even after shooting began.
Blades of the Guardians is being touted as a film reviving wuxia (a genre of Chinese fiction). However, the longer action sequences float and fly in the air, the more of a turnoff it is. Wirework should be used to enhance the action while remaining as grounded as possible. Blades of the Guardians is a great balance, as most of the more superhuman moments revolve around the impact of a punch or kick, trailing behind or on the side of a horse while it’s running, and a spectacular move or two.
Jet Li’s introduction in the film shows him using a sheath to catch a sword thrown at him from across the room, without looking. The two-on-one action sequence that he’s a part of shows that the 62-year-old actor can still go, which should be incredibly exciting for anyone who’s a fan of Hong Kong cinema.
Yuen Woo-ping’s action sequences are of another breed compared to American or other Hong Kong action films. Every sequence is perfectly framed, not too close and not too far away, with everything you need to see in precise view. It’s amazing that Yuen Woo-ping has come up with such fresh ideas after doing this since the early 1970s. There’s a crucial one-on-one fight that takes place in a sandstorm, a fight in the snow while someone is holding a baby, and weapons covered in fire being swung around so beautifully it’s as if you’ve never seen anything like it before.
The film doesn’t shy away from blood either. Limbs and heads are cut off regularly, as blood is splattered in every direction in every fight. Dao Ma is a character who will kill, but prefers not to. He shows mercy more often than not throughout the film. However, there’s one sequence where he swings an axe into the side of someone’s neck, and they fall to their knees before he roundhouse kicks their head off their shoulders.
Blades of the Guardians is one hell of an action film and easily a contender for one of the best films of the genre in the first part of the year. Yuen Woo-ping continues to showcase his legendary talent as a director while four generations of Hong Kong action cinema deliver nonstop badassery over two relentless hours of pure, uncut awesomeness.
Blades of the Guardians is now playing in select theaters.
Entertainment
How Charisma Carpenter's Horrific Childhood Accident Led Buffy The Vampire Slayer To Nearly Kill Her
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
One of the earliest events in The Empire Strikes Back is Luke Skywalker being attacked by a Wampa on Hoth. It’s a sobering moment signaling a more serious sequel. Even though Luke saved the entire galaxy in the first Star Wars movie, he got nearly taken out by some local wildlife in the second.
However, that sudden Wampa attack also had an important purpose: it helped provide an in-universe explanation for why our hero’s face looked different. You see, Mark Hamill had gotten into a car accident, and the onscreen attack helped cover up the fact that the Luke Skywalker actor had facial reconstruction surgery.
Using an onscreen incident to explain an actor’s real-life scars is a pretty clever trick. It’s also one that was used in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though most fans never noticed.
In the episode “Lovers Walk,” Cordelia falls onto a piece of rebar, leaving the character with a nasty scar. A few years back, Cordelia actor Charisma Carpenter revealed that this was a case of art imitating life, as she was impaled by rebar (and subsequently gained her own gnarly scar) at the tender age of five years old!
A Girl Walks Into A Rebar
“Lovers Walk” was a Season 3 episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that focused on wacky romantic drama. Spike is trying to use a love spell on Drusilla to make his old girlfriend love him again. Resident witch Willow, meanwhile, is having an emotional affair with Xander, despite the fact that she’s dating Oz and he’s dating Cordelia. After they are kidnapped and believe they will die, Willow and Xander share their first kiss; a horrified Cordelia sees this and runs up some stairs in disgust. Unfortunately, the stairs collapse, and she is impaled on some rebar. She survives, but Sunnydale’s ultimate mean girl is left with a major scar.
When “Lovers Walk” first aired, this seemed like nothing more than a classic case of misdirection. The audience is worried about Willow and Xander dying, and the last thing they expect is for would-be rescuer Cordelia to nearly get killed. But in 2019, Charisma Carpenter revealed that she had suffered a very similar injury when she was a small child. In retrospect, it seems that this very specific event may have happened to Cordelia to explain away Carpenter’s real-life scar in case it ever appears onscreen again.
Giving The Fans What They Want
On X, Carpenter responded to a fan who felt bad about scars on their body. “Hey Kiddo, late 2 this tweet but I want U 2 know I get scar shame. I have a thick, wide scar about 4″ on my belly. I was 5 when I was impaled by a rebar,” she wrote. “My scar is a part of my story, but it’s not who I am. It doesn’t define me. It makes me unique. Just like urs makes U unique.”
It’s a fairly touching response, one that shows just how much this Buffy the Vampire Slayer actor cares about her fans. But it also provided us with an answer to a decades-old fan question: in a show filled with vampires, werewolves, and other nasty demons, why the heck was Cordelia injured by something as simple as some rebar? Now we know that, for whatever reason, the Buffy producers wanted to give the character a scar that corresponded to Carpenter’s own injury.
Even though Charisma Carpenter’s scar didn’t make many more prominent appearances onscreen, the producers were likely thinking ahead. Soon, the actor would be one of the leads in the popular Buffy spinoff Angel, and they had no way of knowing if future episodes would require her to show where she is scarred.
Thanks to the rebar incident in “Lovers Walk,” they didn’t have to worry about covering that old injury up. But they might never have thought to do this if nearly two decades earlier, George Lucas hadn’t thought to explain Mark Hamill’s own scars by having his Luke Skywalker character get injured onscreen!
Entertainment
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Cosplays As Ugly Misfit In Raunchy 80s Sci-Fi Adventure
By Robert Scucci
| Updated
Back in the 80s, being ugly on screen basically meant throwing a pair of glasses and some baggy clothes on a smokin’ hot babe. The most blatant case of this, at least to my knowledge, is 1988’s Alien from L.A., starring Kathy Ireland, who not only appeared in 13 consecutive Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, but also landed on the cover three times.
In the movie, which plays like a strange combination of The Wizard of Oz and Journey to the Center of the Earth, our hero sets out to find the lost city of Atlantis, rescue her missing father, overcome her alleged homeliness, and show her surface-dwelling ex-boyfriend what he’s missing out on, all before riding off into the sunset on her new dude’s motorcycle.
Ironically, Alien from L.A., a direct-to-VHS outing, was followed by its straight-to-video sequel, Journey to the Center of the Earth (1989). After watching this one, I don’t think I’ll be watching that one. But it exists, and both titles are streaming on Tubi, so you can do whatever you want with that information.
These Glasses Are Holding Me Back!
Alien from L.A. is insulting to your intelligence in just about every way. We’re introduced to Wanda Saknussemm (Kathy Ireland), a woman who clearly hits the gym nine days a week, has long, flowing hair, and legs for days. If only it weren’t for those pesky glasses that are supposed to convince the viewer she’s a dud, as if no mortal man has ever fantasized about a sexy librarian. She also speaks in an incredibly squeaky voice that becomes a running joke.
Anyhow, her boyfriend Robbie (Don Michael Paul) dumps her for not being adventurous, whatever that means, and this sends our covert hottie on a soul-searching excursion to Zamboanga, North Africa, in search of her long-lost father, Professor Arnold Saknussemm (Richard Haines). As the legend goes, Arnold disappeared while searching for the lost city of Atlantis, claiming the city is of alien origin.
While digging through her father’s belongings, Wanda falls into a seemingly bottomless pit and eventually ends up in a strange underground society inhabited by miners who have never breached the surface. Though these inhabitants look just like humans, they refer to Wanda as an alien. Soon enough, she learns what’s truly at stake, but only after a bounty is placed on her head for invading their community.
What follows is a series of events involving a miner named Gus (William R. Moses), a shadowy government conspiracy led by General Rykov (Janie Du Plessis) tied to her imprisoned father, a steady stream of jokes about Wanda’s squeaky voice (it’s an affectation, she can stop talking like this whenever she wants), and a hunky rogue agent named Charmin’ (Thom Mathews).
Truly Terrible, But Also Kind Of Fun
After sitting through Alien from L.A., I’m still not sure what to make of it. It’s contrived, overtly campy, and the hero’s journey never fully clicks. When the film finally wraps, Robbie sees Wanda in a bikini and suddenly realizes he was dating a stone cold fox the entire time. Of course, this happens after Wanda wakes up from her “dream” and, in a clear callback to The Wizard of Oz, says as much.
If the movie has anything going for it, it’s the set design, which is actually pretty neat in that kitschy, low-budget way. Think foam rock formations with dry ice pumping behind them, along with some surprisingly fun city shots that give everything a cartoony vibe. Throw in Deep Roy’s Mambino character with the comically long eyelashes that are never explained, and you’ve got a bizarre viewing experience that won’t teach you anything new and might actually make you a little dumber in the process.
As of this writing, you can stream Alien from L.A. and its sequel, Journey to the Center of the Earth, for free on Tubi.
Entertainment
This $100 Microsoft Office 2024 deal won’t bill you next month
TL;DR: Microsoft Office 2024 Home and Business includes Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, and OneNote with a one-time license, now $99.97 (reg. $249.99).
$89.97
$249.99
Save $160.02
There’s a good chance you use Microsoft Office more often than you realize — possibly more than some of your go-to apps. There’s also a good chance you’ve been paying for it just as consistently. This Microsoft Office 2024 Home and Business lifetime license offers a one-time alternative, now on sale for $99.97 (reg. $249.99).
For a set of apps you open this frequently, paying month after month can start to feel a bit unnecessary — especially when a one-time license is an option. This version includes Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, and OneNote, which covers most of what people actually use on a day-to-day basis. It doesn’t come with Teams, but it does integrate with it, so you can still jump into chats, share files, and sit through meetings as needed.
Mashable Deals
Office 2024 doesn’t offer drastic differences, but instead builds on what’s already familiar with some useful upgrades along the way. Performance has been improved, particularly in Excel, where handling large datasets and multiple workbooks feels smoother. PowerPoint now supports recording presentations with voice narration and video, including live camera input, which can be useful for remote work or presentations.
Word also gets a few AI-assisted features, like suggestions for completing sentences and generating content based on context. Across the suite, AI tools can help with formatting, summarizing text, translating content, and pulling out key information.
All in all, this bundle offers the same set of tools most people are familiar with, just with a few updates that make everyday tasks a bit easier.
Mashable Deals
Originally $249.99, you can get Microsoft Office 2024 Home and Business for Mac or PC for $99.97 for a limited time.
StackSocial prices subject to change.
How Charisma Carpenter's Horrific Childhood Accident Led Buffy The Vampire Slayer To Nearly Kill Her
Blue Jays DH George Springer departs after HBP
