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The Only Movie That Put Me To Sleep In A Theater Is Now On Netflix

By Jonathan Klotz
| Published

Everyone loves dinosaurs. Everyone loves Jeff Goldblum. Everyone loves dinosaurs with Jeff Goldblum. It should be a simple formula, and yet 2021’s Jurassic World: Dominion managed to fumble the return of Jurassic Park’s trio with a ludicrous plot, dull set pieces, and managed to avoid addressing the ending of Fallen Kingdom. The cool ending with the dinosaurs starting to repopulate around the world? The one that had you pumped for the next Jurassic World movie? Replaced with a story about genetically modified locusts that’s so exciting I fell asleep in the theater the first time I watched it. 

Rise Of The Mutant Locusts

Not Seen In This Picture: Dinosaurs

Other films have almost put me to sleep, including, ironically, Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland and the Ryan Reynolds/Denzel Washington film Safe House, but none have knocked me out like Jurassic World: Dominion. I made it to Alan Grant (Sam Neill), Ellie Satler (Laura Dern), and Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) running around a biotech facility and then woke up to the credits. The plot has none of the tension of the first four films, the dinosaurs feel like a minor nuisance, and the two generations of Jurassic characters are kept separated for 90 percent of the film. It takes one hour and 45 minutes for Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) and Alan Grant to finally meet. 

Jeff Goldblum, Sam Neill, And Laura Dern Returned For Jurassic World: Dominion

After Jurassic World turned the theme park of the original into a reality, and Fallen Kingdom became a haunted house horror for its third act, Dominion’s reliance on a Biosyn facility for the final act was a huge step back. Owen and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), sneaking into a black market auction for dinosaurs, would be fun, except again, that was seen in the previous movie. There’s nothing here that the same stars, same director (Colin Trevorrow), and same writer (also Colin Trevorrow) hadn’t done before, but better. 

Dinosaurs Are Awesome

I did enjoy Jurassic World: Dominion significantly more the second time around on Netflix. Part of that is my expectations were tempered, and the other is that my cat (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)  never lets me fall asleep on the couch. The streaming experience allowed me to appreciate the old guard slipping into their roles like a well-used pair of pants, and Isabella Sermon, who plays the genetically altered Maisie, more than holds her own alongside the cadre of established stars. 

Though Jurassic World: Dominion was filmed during the COVID pandemic, and it has the hallmarks of those productions, namely the complete lack of extras during the third act, the actual story, the weakest part of the film, was solidified long before the pandemic hit. Trevorrow’s original vision, available on the Blu-Ray as an extended cut, includes more dinosaurs and more backstory. That cut isn’t available on Netflix, which is a shame, as the one thing the dinosaur movie needed was more dinosaurs. 

Jurassic World: Dominion is the weakest of the franchise, and yet it still earned a billion dollars a the box office. When the worst film of a series sets records and is still a decent film, if you go in with the right expectations, that says something about the overall quality of Jurassic Park. Or it could just be that dinosaurs are awesome. Jurassic World: Dominion, and the rest of the Jurassic World series, including Jurassic World: Rebirth, are now available to stream on Netflix.


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Pokémon TCG Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker Collections now only $32 at Walmart — save $5 vs. Amazon

Where to buy Pokémon TCG Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker Collections:


The Pokemon TCG: Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker Collections on a white background


The Pokemon TCG: Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker Collections on a white background

Keen Pokémon TCG collectors hunting for affordable Ascended Heroes packs have another solid option right now, thanks to Walmart quietly lowering the price on one of the expansion’s smaller collections.

As of March 12, the Pokémon TCG Mega Evolution Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker Collection is available for just over $32 at Walmart, undercutting Amazon’s current $37.98 listing by roughly $5. The collection is shipped as a randomly selected Charmander or Gastly edition, which means you won’t know exactly which promo card you’re getting until it arrives. 

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Each Tech Sticker Collection comes with one foil promo card featuring either Charmander or Gastly, along with a themed tech sticker sheet spotlighting Charmander and Mega Charizard Y or Gastly and Mega Gengar. On top of that, you’ll also get three booster packs from the Mega Evolution Ascended Heroes expansion, each containing the usual 10 Pokémon trading cards.

This is the best way to get Pokémon TCG Ascended Heroes boosters at a half-decent price. Individually, Ascended Heroes booster packs cost $18.97 at Walmart and $24.99 at Amazon. Comparatively, this Ascended Heroes Tech Sticker collection means you’re only paying $10.75 per pack, saving you $8.24 compared to buying them on their own.  

For other Pokémon TCG deals, consider the Perfect Order Booster Box price cuts at Amazon and Walmart. What’s more, the Pokémon TCG Perfect Order Booster Bundle is still available to preorder at Amazon for $59.99

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Starfleet Academy Just Resurrected A Decades-Old Alien Ritual From Star Trek

By Chris Snellgrove
| Published

Starfleet Academy has been incorporating nods to earlier Star Trek shows, with varying degrees of subtlety. Sometimes, we just get, say, passing references to a Talaxian furfly. Other times, we get an entire episode dedicated to characters like Benjamin Sisko, complete with cameos from those who are closest to him.

So far, most of the show’s most overt references have been nods to shows like Deep Space Nine and Voyager. However, the most recent episode, “300th Night,” referenced The Next Generation in a powerful way by portraying an alien ritual we haven’t seen onscreen for decades. That ritual was the R’uustai, which allows Klingons to induct new members into their house.

Worf Bonds With A Child

We first saw the R’uustai in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode “The Bonding.” In this tale, Worf led an away team mission that went sideways, resulting in the death of a woman under his command. She died a typical Redshirt-style death, but unlike the Redshirts of yesteryear, her death left her son, Jeremy Aster, without a mother or father to raise him.

Jeremy goes through plenty of trauma afterward, especially after sympathetic aliens try to replicate his mother in an attempt to soothe his pain. Eventually, the crew gets the young boy to accept that his mother is dead, and Worf (whom the kid originally blamed for his mother’s death) performs the act of R’uustai, an ancient Klingon ritual that allowed him to make Jeremy a brother who would forever be part of Worf’s family, House Mogh.

Interestingly, R’uustai didn’t come up again in Star Trek for decades. Jeremy Aster was never mentioned again, and we never saw this ritual onscreen or even heard it mentioned. This is doubly interesting because on Deep Space Nine, Martok made Worf part of his family, meaning that young Jeremy Aster (wherever he is) is technically the last surviving member of House Mogh. However, it’s doubtful that he’ll be picking up a bat’leth and battling for the disgraced family’s honor anytime soon.

An Old Ritual From A New Klingon

After decades of its absence from Star Trek, however, R’uustai just made a quiet comeback. In the penultimate episode of Starfleet Academy Season 1 (“300th Night”), the unconventional Klingon Jay-Den conducts the R’uustai ritual for his fellow cadets, inviting them to join his family, House Kraag. All but Caleb drink during the ceremony, making them brothers and sisters of Jay-Den. Despite Caleb not wanting to join House Kraag because he is still obsessed with finding his mother (the last of his biological family), Jay-Den considers him a chosen brother and helps Caleb with his reckless mission to reunite with his mom.

In a weird way, this forgotten ritual from Star Trek: The Next Generation was perfect for Starfleet Academy. The show is all about found family and the strength you gain from letting close friends into your heart. In “300th Night,” the R’uustai ritual makes the “family” part official for these cadets while calling back to a TNG ritual that proved how easy it was for humans and other outsiders to officially join Klingon houses.

Today Is A Good Day To Bond

As a longtime Star Trek nerd, I just wish we knew a little more about how R’uustai works in this fictional universe. In the TNG episode “The Bonding,” this ritual was used to induct Jeremy Aster into Worf’s family, but an entirely different ritual (one involving less drinking and more bloodletting) was used in the DS9 episode “Sons and Daughters” to induct Alexander into House Martok. Therefore, it’s unclear whether the R’uustai temporarily fell out of fashion as a way to induct new House members before Jay-Den embraced it or if the rituals are race-specific, with one being reserved for Klingons and the other being used for everyone else.

At any rate, if you’re a Star Trek fan who loves Klingon lore, it’s particularly rewarding to see the return of R’uustai, something last seen in the excellent TNG episode “The Bonding.” The ritual emphasizes Starfleet Academy’s themes of found family, all while steeping itself in decades-old franchise lore. Hopefully, everything works out for Jay-Den, whose induction of Darem into House Kraag means he now officially has a family member who wants to have sex with him.

Let’s just hope this doesn’t lead to any particularly weird holodeck misadventures. If a simulated Darem gets stuck in a Jeffries Tube and starts saying things like, “What are you doing, chosen brother?” that will be our cue to turn the TV off quicker than you can say “qapla’!”  


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7 Spring Fashion Trends — Thoughts?

“I’m ready to shed my winter clothes,” wrote a CoJ reader named Hilleary. “What are the spring trends?” I know some people don’t care about trends — life is short, wear whatever you’d like! — but I actually love the visual conversation of seeing people re-wearing their old bandanas, say, or breathing life into baggy jeans from the back of their closet. If you, too, are curious, here are seven spring trends to look out for…

1. Bandanas. I invited people over last week, and no fewer than FIVE lovely women showed up with bandanas around their necks. How easy is that? (Side note: Would you like a bandana-tying tutorial, just for fun?)

2. Funnel necks. How chic are the high collars on this cream jacket and denim coat? If money were no object, this Barbour number is also beautiful — and here’s a baby blue one.

3. Baby blue. I wear this blue 100% cotton shirt allllll the time with jeans or shorts. It drapes really well, looks great with the sleeves rolled, and makes an easy travel uniform. I’m also into these baby blue and woven flats.

4. Polka dots. Do you wear polka dots? My friends’ answers are mixed, but I think they can look really elegant, especially when the dress itself feels more adult (e.g., long, silky, belted). Remember this scene in Pretty Woman?

5. Dark denim. Think: so dark they’re almost navy. This trouser silhouette is great, and these cuties are currently 30% off.

6. Track pants. When Alison wore track pants in her house tour photos, we got a gazillion comments asking about them. Hers were from Adidas, but there are other fun versions, like linen and polka dots.

7. Boat shoes. Last summer, my dad wore classic boat shoes while on a boat in Cornwall, England, and when I told him that he was on trend, he….didn’t care. But! They’re timeless, easy, and perfect for summer, so I was excited for both of us.

Thoughts? What are you wearing these days? And if you want to stick to basics, there’s always the forever-cool stick-of-butter look. xoxo

P.S. Women share their weeks of outfits, and my five holy-grail beauty products.

(Top photo of the Brooklyn Promenade.)

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