Entertainment
How Sci-Fi’s Greatest Master Trashed His Reputation With One Space Movie
By Joshua Tyler
| Published
America loves convenience. After all, we’re the culture that invented the cell phone, 24-hour fast food, and my most beloved, the remote control.
In 2001, in what was meant to be his final effort as a filmmaker, one iconic director took his love of convenience too far. That director was John Carpenter. That John Carpenter. The genius mastermind behind The Thing, Escape from New York, Starman, and They Live!.
Why John Carpenter’s Ghosts Of Mars Failed
Ghosts of Mars stars 90s VHS rental icon Natasha Henstridge as a tough-as-nails, pill-popping, Martian cop, sent with her squadron to retrieve ‘Demolition’ Williams (Ice Cube) from a remote mining town for trial back home. When she and her comrades, appropriately dubbed ‘The Commander’ (screen icon Pam Grier), ‘The Rookies,’ and the guy with the cool accent (a not-yet-famous Jason Statham) discover the town’s residents slaughtered, they are forced to team up with Williams to escape from the remaining residents’ head-chopping, alien-possessed clutches.
Filled with a lovely overuse of storytelling flashbacks, flash-sideways, and viewpoint changes, Ghosts of Mars is a hapless mishmash of poorly constructed dialogue and ill-conceived action sequences. The only thing keeping this film from becoming an incomprehensible mess is the sheer idiotic simplicity of its story. Ripped straight from the pages of a 1970s zombie movie, Ghosts leaps from one convenient moment to the next, stopping only to kill the most convenient characters to lose.
Attempts at character interaction and development are rare and forced. Most of these moments come off as Kwik-E-Mart wisdom, dispensed heartily around the Slushee machine of life by the even-tempered streetwise hand of Ice Cube. With a gun in one hand and a dynamite cap in the other, Cube reminisces about his street life, comparing the zombie-stomping fun to ‘Me and my brother when we was kids.’ Apparently, crime in the Bronx has gotten so bad that the residents have actually taken to ritually decapitating one another for entertainment.
But, even in the film’s darkest moments, fate conveniently lends a hand, supplying heavily armored transportation and easily accessible rifles and dynamite. Yes, in the future, man may travel to space and conquer Mars, but nothing beats a good stick of TNT. As we all know, every police station, past, present, or future, keeps a healthy supply of dynamite on hand.
Characters die, heads are lopped off, but they were only supporting roles anyway, so why should we care? As long as you have plenty of narcotics, immunity is guaranteed. Eventually, though, even the most well-trained zombie alien gets a bit uppity and needs to be taught a lesson.
What better way than by sacrificing a few minor characters to a convenient nuclear detonation, killing anything the machine guns can’t handle. Explosions are fun. And even if the nukes don’t get them, the conveniently placed dynamite packs on the train stolen from the set of The Road Warrior certainly will.
Ghosts of Mars defines itself when our cop’s tribunal pronounces, ‘Is that all you have to tell us?’ Indeed, this was the place where master filmmaker John Carpenter ran out of things to say and instead decided to use whatever was convenient to tell a ridiculously bad story.
GHOSTS OF MARS REVIEW SCORE
Ghosts Of Mars Ended John Carpenter’s Career
Released on August 24, 2001, the film grossed just $14 million worldwide against a $28 million budget, marking it a significant box office disappointment. Worst of all, nearly everyone hated it. Ghosts of Mars holds a 23% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Audiences were similarly unimpressed, awarding it a C− grade on CinemaScore.
John Carpenter stepped away from the camera for nearly ten years after the failure of Ghosts of Mars. He returned for one last movie called The Ward in 2010, but it was received with little fanfare. Ghosts of Mars was the real endpoint for the directing career of the man who gave us some of the best sci-fi ideas of all time.
After Ghosts of Mars, Carpenter moved into the music business. Music has always been one of his passions, which is why the sound in his movies is so unique. Doing what he loves is the perfect way for an icon to spend his later years. Now, do your best to forget about Ghosts of Mars.
Entertainment
Super Bowl fans celebrate and spiral on social media as the Seahawks beat the Patriots
In what will likely go down as one of the least thrilling Super Bowls in recent memory, the Seattle Seahawks finally got their revenge against the New England Patriots, defeating the AFC champions 29–13 to win Super Bowl LX.
The game got off to a sluggish start, with one of the league’s most explosive offenses in Seattle running headfirst into a relentless New England defense. The same stalemate played out on the other side of the ball, as Drake Maye’s Patriots offense struggled to generate any momentum against Seattle’s top-ranked scoring defense. Dubbed the Darkside Defense, a modern successor to the Legion of Boom, the Seahawks held New England to just 13 points, racking up seven sacks (tying a Super Bowl record) and forcing an interception in the process.
As for Patriots fans, the vibes are bleak.
Mashable Trend Report
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And for Seattle fans, the win brought the Seattle Seahawks even more joy. Not only did the franchise secure its second Super Bowl title in team history, but it also avenged one of the most infamous plays in NFL lore.
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Sam Darnold is a Super Bowl champion
The funniest and most satisfying outcome of the win is what it’s done for Sam Darnold’s legacy. Once widely written off as a bust, the Seattle Seahawks quarterback has now won the biggest game of his life. His diehard supporters, who have long and very ironically dubbed him GEQBUS, short for “God Emperor Quarterback of the United States,” are absolutely losing their minds. Over on the subreddit r/the_darnold, fans are firmly on cloud nine, basking in the kind of vindication only a Super Bowl win can deliver.
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Entertainment
Insane, R-Rated 90s Sci-Fi Is A Computer Virus For Your Brain
By Robert Scucci
| Published
I have no issue admitting that when I write movie reviews, I spend some time on Wikipedia and IMDb because I am better with faces than names. I want to make sure I am getting the talent straight when I talk about the characters that talent is portraying, as well as refresh myself on the story. In the case of 1991’s Brain Twisters, however, I had to consult the internet just to figure out what story it was even trying to tell in the first place, because it really does not make any sense at all.
Conceptually, Brain Twisters has a cool R-rated premise, but it limps along like it is aiming for a PG-13 rating. It wants to be sexy, but there is no nudity. It wants to carry itself like a slasher, but there is no real violence. It wants to play out like a sci-fi mystery thriller, but instead feels like a made-for-TV crime drama about a computer program that forces people to go on murder sprees. At least, I think that is what it is going for.
None Of This Makes Sense On Any Level
From what intel I have gathered, I am not alone in my assessment of Brain Twisters. The main story centers on Dr. Philip Rothman (Terry Lenderee), a university professor who runs mind control experiments on student volunteers involving sensory deprivation tanks and a wall of televisions a la A Clockwork Orange. Then a string of murders happens, drawing the attention of Detective Frank Turi (Joe Lombardo), who becomes involved after one of Dr. Rothman’s students, Ted (Shura McComb), commits suicide. This somehow results in a custody battle over his corpse.
Dr. Rothman wants Ted’s head for research purposes, while Detective Frank is more concerned with figuring out whether Ted was involved in the murder of his girlfriend, Denise (Heather Ann Barclay). As the film slowly meanders along, we learn that Dr. Rothman’s experiments are emitting radio waves, or something close to that, which cause his students to kill each other or themselves.
The problem is that Dr. Rothman is apparently unaware of this side effect because the software company financing his experiments never disclosed that information to him. This explanation immediately collapses under scrutiny, since he spends most of the second and third acts behaving in an increasingly unhinged and openly evil manner that suggests he knows exactly what is happening.
Meanwhile, student Laurie Stevens (Farrah Forke) becomes romantically involved with Detective Frank after he cooks her boxed spaghetti, while her promiscuous friend Michelle (Donna Bostany) attempts to seduce Dr. Rothman in exchange for a better grade. That is it. That is the whole movie.
Not Even Charming In A Shlocky Way
When I seek out movies like Brain Twisters, I genuinely try to identify their redeeming qualities. I have devoted an unthinkable number of hours to scraping the bottom of the Rotten Tomatoes barrel and logging onto Tubi in search of hidden or underappreciated gems that were not fully understood at the time of their initial release. More often than not, I am pleasantly surprised, and I report my findings here in case anyone else wants to check out something that was not on their radar but still fits their taste. It ain’t much, but it is honest work.
Brain Twisters, however, has no redeeming qualities, and it rightfully earns its seven percent audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. It is barely sci-fi, barely horror, and does not even have enough schlock to give it the kind of B-movie charm that lets you appreciate it as a diamond in the rough. Second-rate production values can be forgiven if there is a compelling story underneath them.The unfortunate truth about Brain Twisters is that there is not.
If you want to see what Brain Twisters is all about, you can stream it for free on Tubi. Or you can jam toothpicks under your fingernails if you are looking for a more productive way to spend your time.
Entertainment
Sigourney Weaver's R-Rated 90s Thriller Is A Disturbing Game Of Cat And Mouse
By Robert Scucci
| Published
1995’s Copycat is one of those movies that should be in heavy rotation if you’re a true crime fan who also enjoys a solid psychological thriller. Like a proto version of Mindhunter, it leans into the lore surrounding heavy hitters like Albert DeSalvo, The Hillside Strangler, David Berkowitz, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Ted Bundy, but every single reference is filtered through the perspective of a strung out criminal psychology expert as she aids two homicide detectives in tracing a copycat killer who mimics the MOs of the serial killers who inspired him.
Through this framework, and with the help of Sigourney Weaver’s on-screen chemistry with Holly Hunter and Dermot Mulroney, Copycat becomes a fun murder mystery thriller that manages to appeal to both casual moviegoers and true crime buffs alike.
A Killer On The Loose, An Expert Trapped Inside Her Trauma
Copycat first introduces us to the trauma that forces criminal psychology expert Dr. Helen Hudson (Sigourney Weaver) into a reclusive lifestyle. Suffering from agoraphobia and drinking her way through each day, Dr. Helen is the ultimate authority on serial killer behavior. That authority comes at a cost after her dangerous run-in with escaped killer Daryll Lee Cullum (Harry Connick Jr.) during one of her lectures, an encounter that forces her to value her safety and privacy above everything else. While she still has a passion for her research and criminal profiling, Dr. Helen suffers anxiety attacks at the mere thought of leaving her luxury apartment, effectively trapping herself inside her own expertise.
When a string of murders begins to plague San Francisco, Inspector Mary Jane “M.J.” Monahan (Holly Hunter) and her partner, Inspector Ruben Goetz (Dermot Mulroney), are tasked not only with finding the culprit behind the slayings, but also with keeping the possibility of a serial killer under wraps in order to avoid sparking unnecessary public hysteria.
This is where the magic really happens in Copycat. Dr. Helen Hudson is a force to be reckoned with. Her pattern recognition and ability to profile on the fly as new evidence comes to light is intimidating to say the least. She initially helps M.J. and Ruben begrudgingly, but soon becomes just as consumed with the case as they are. M.J. is the inverse of Helen in almost every way. She lacks the years of experience needed to draw the same immediate connections, but makes up for it by trusting her instincts and acting decisively when it matters most.
As they work together, M.J., Ruben, and Dr. Hudson realize they are dealing with a serial killer whose MO is defined by the absence of one. Rather than developing his own methodology, the killer meticulously recreates the murder techniques and crime scene imagery of the serial killers he idolizes. By constantly changing his approach, he stays one step ahead of the inspectors hunting him, all while dropping increasingly unsettling hints that Dr. Helen Hudson herself is his ultimate target, for reasons that are not immediately clear.
The Perfect Intersection Of True Crime And Fiction
While Copycat leans heavily into true crime to build its internal logic, you do not need to be a true crime junkie to appreciate what it’s doing. References are limited to the most well-known real-life killers, giving casual viewers enough context to understand the stakes without requiring a post-watch research spiral.
The procedural details the film leans on are delivered in self-contained bursts of criminal profiling that are easy to follow, allowing viewers to simply sit back and watch the mystery unfold. The film never feels like it’s testing the audience or showing off its homework.
In other words, if you’re into shows like Mindhunter but less interested in the kind of granular breakdowns found in something like Last Podcast on the Left, Copycat strikes an ideal balance. It’s a rock-solid thriller that doesn’t require a crash course in the macabre to fully appreciate, and its slow-burn mystery keeps the tension simmering from start to finish.
Copycat is currently streaming for free on Tubi.
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