By Jonathan Klotz
| Updated 17 seconds ago

The coolest part of science fiction isn’t the exotic alien planets, destructive weapons, or the outfits; it’s the spaceships. Nothing captures the imagination like a spaceship flying to a different galaxy, or weaving through a zero-gravity dogfight. They’re sleek, they’re cool, and they’re iconic. Think of Star Wars, and you think of the Millennium Falcon. Star Trek has the Enterprise, and Farscape has the organic Moya. 

The ships in this list aren’t like those icons. Spaceships often suffer from a design flaw. They look… uh…  like… well. 

We all know it. We all think it the first time we see one of these POP UP. It’sHARD not to. And there’s just no beating around the BUSH here; we’ve gone and made a list of the most INAPPROPRIATE spaceships. 

And we’re ranking them in order by which one is the most totally raunchy. 

14 – Dr. Evil’s Rocket – Austin Powers

The first Austin Powers was once the most quoted movie on the planet. Mike Myers became a comedy superstar with his sendup of James Bond and spy movies in general. A sequel was inevitable, and this time, science fiction didn’t escape the parody unscathed. The extended bit about Dr. Evil’s rocket is one of the best parts of the movie.

The gag works on two levels: first, the obvious, in that the rocket looks like a phallus. Secondly, it keeps going with every quick shot, including dialogue that leads into the next.  Did I mention that it keeps going? By the time it gets to One-eyed Monster, you think it’s running out of gas, and then it goes with the obvious joke, and Woody Harrelson pops up on screen. 

Sci-fi spaceships looking like a phallus isn’t a secret. We all know. 

It’s so common that a mainstream comedy can use it as a joke. Dr. Evil is a man of science, and science can’t help it that a long, cylindrical object is the most efficient rocket design. The only thing stopping the obvious penis rocket from ranking higher is that it’s a deliberate gag. Science fiction is filled with ships that weren’t intended to be a pecker. 

13 – Heighlighnier – Dune

Is it a massive Space Guild transport ship capable of holding thousands of passengers as it folds space and time… …or is it a sex toy? 

The Heighlighnier from Dune is a technological marvel, working less as a ship and more as a tunnel through space. At least it was in Denis Villeneuve’s Dune. Frank Herbert’s novels never go into detail. The exact shape, form, and function of the vessel is left to the imagination. Both David Lynch and Villeneuve decided that it should be a massive cylinder, and it unfortunately looks a lot like a….well….not a flashlight. 

But…yeah I’m going to go with flashlight.

In the prequel HBO Max series, Dune: Prophecy, the Heighliners are more rectangular. 

I’ll have to admit, it’s honestly a great design for a spaceship that doesn’t have to actually travel anywhere. With no need for propulsion, there’s no need for thrusters, and it doesn’t have to be aerodynamic. Dune is the strangest sci-fi universe to break through into the mainstream, and even the spaceships are more complex than any other franchise. 

That said, the brutalist, monolithic design of the Heighlighnier makes them stand out. It’s an immediately striking, recognizable look,  but again, did it really have to look exactly like a FLASH light? 

12 – The Dauntless – Star Trek Prodigy 

Star Trek Prodigy was never given a chance to become a success. Paramount didn’t know what to do with a Star Trek cartoon meant for kids. The show itself is fantastic and a great way to get kids into Star Trek. Voyager stars Kate Mulgrew and Robert Picardo reprise their roles as Janeway and The Doctor, and the new characters are colorful and vastly different from previous Trek series, taking full advantage of the animated format. 

And then there’s the Dauntless. 

On the one hand, the Dauntless shows Starfleet incorporating alien technology into its ships. On the other, it’s either a flying arrowhead or a….well….you know. Long, slender backend, thick, girthy front? 

It’s a unique design for Starfleet, with a unique engine: a quantum slipstream drive. Coincidentally, the tech was first introduced in Voyager. This means the Dauntless can reach a speed of Warp 9.9, though the technology is missing from Discovery, meaning it likely ended up being one of many failed FTL prototypes of the Federation. 

Thankfully, the design was also shelved. The Dauntless might be the ugliest ship in Star Trek. 

11 – War Rocket Ajax – Flash Gordon 1980 movie

FLASH! Ah ah ah! 

Get used to seeing Flash Gordon pop up on this list. Between the serials and the 1980 movie, it’s a treasure trove of retro sci-fi designs, which means lots of inappropriate spaceships. 

One of the lesser offenders is the War Rocket Ajax, seemingly the only ship in the fleet of Ming the Merciless. The War Rocket Ajax is sent in pursuit of Flash and his team after they attack his city. It’s fast, it’s powerful, and it’s a flying phallus. It’s not even subtle. That’s a giant, gold… 

Design for the film was split across different production studios, but the elaborate model used for filming was put together by Martin Bower, who also designed the miniatures used in Blake’s 7, Space 1999, and a little film called Alien. 

He was joined by Bill Pearson, who also did the models for Wing Commander, Gravity, and would go on to work on Red Dwarf. Honestly, those credits explain why Flash Gordon’s designs, though suggestive, are so damn cool. War Rocket Ajax looks like the type of ship a six-year-old would design. In the world of Flash Gordon, that’s a good thing. 

The whole film plays with classic sci-fi tropes, and it’s catnip for nerds. War Rocket Ajax being armed to the teeth with lasers, electrifying cloud tech, and housing an entire unit of heavily armed soldiers makes it one of the coolest ships in sci-fi. 

It still looks like a johnson.

10 – Syreen Penetrator – Star Control

It’s a sci-fi video game and not a show or a film, but the classic PC strategy game Star Control needs to be called out, because it has no chill. The Syreen Penetrator isn’t subtle. It has ridges. It’s called the Penetrator. One of its best stats? Thrust. 

The Penetrator’s also fast, and it has great range. In the world of Star Control, it also has the unique ability to convert victims into crew. The Penetrator is cheap, it’s effective, but it also runs out of fuel pretty quickly and needs time to refuel. 

Star Control has some of the wildest alien designs in sci-fi gaming. Every race has its own unique designs and playstyles, but if you haven’t heard of Star Control, that’s because it’s been a while. 

The last mainline game came out in 1996, and the latest is allegedly coming out in 2026. Once it does, every defense needs to be penetrated by the Penetrator at least once. 

9 – Heart of Gold – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Not every inappropriate ship is phallic; some are boobs. 

Douglas Adams described The Heart of Gold in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy as a long, pure white ship that looks like a running shoe. It kept that look for the BBC television series, but when it came to the big screen, The Heart of Gold was reimagined into….a boob. 

It’s large, perfectly round, and has a noticeable hole in the front of the ship. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is, to this day, the greatest sci-fi satire ever written, which is why the film producers deciding to use a teapot as the inspiration instead of the usual sci-fi ship design is the type of thing Douglas Adams would enjoy. They didn’t want to use a penile ship, but instead, they made a flying tit. 

The heart of gold at the center of the Heart of Gold is an Infinite Improbability Drive. By accessing every single possibility at once, the engine is able to move the ship to any point in the universe without the need for any hyperspace or faster-than-light travel. The downside is that it tends to mess with reality. Turning a nuclear missile into a whale, unleashing party balloons from a hole in space, and briefly turning the entire ship and crew into yarn are a few of the unfortunate, but ultimately safe, side effects from using the Infinite Improbability Drive. 

The Heart of Gold looks like a female body part, but it’s also one of the coolest ships in all of sci-fi, and if you haven’t read Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, you need to. 

8 – Dr. Gel’s Ship – Space Dandy

Not every ship is inappropriate because it looks like genitalia. There’s some out there that are just downright bizarre. Take, for example, the anime Space Dandy. It’s an off-the-wall space opera stuffed full with references to classic sci-fi. Most episodes end with Dandy and his crew dying, or turning into zombies, then the next episode starts as if nothing ever happened. And then there’s Dr. Gel. 

Dr. Gel’s spaceship is one of the weirdest designs you’ll ever see. It’s gigantic, flies vertically, has that cool triangular design to the base of it, and what else sticks out about it….oh right….the giant Statue of Liberty head with a… uh…. in its mouth. That’s…different. The reasoning behind the Statue of Liberty is never explained. It’s likely a Planet of the Apes reference considering Dr. Gel is a genius-level ape. He’s also decked out in red, white, and blue. Because America. Statue of Liberty. It makes sense. 

If you’ve never watched Space Dandy, you should. It’s animated by Studio Bones and looks incredible. The sci-fi references are found in every single episode, and the series, obviously, doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s one of the best sci-fi anime out there, and when a show embraces the absurd inappropriate spaceship design trope on purpose, it’s always worth checking out. 

7 – Blue Origin Rocket

We need to take a moment and get away from the world of science fiction and made-up suggestive spaceships to address the giant johnson in the room. 

Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin has done a lot for space exploration, from working on landers for the NASA Artemis Mission, developing an orbital space station, and pushing forward the design of reusable rockets. It also has kept alive the great tradition of suggestive space ships. Forget the successful launches, the impressive scientific and engineering feats that made the rocket possible; Blue Origin’s rocket is phallic. Not slightly. Not “squint and you can see it.” It’s right out there. 

I know hundreds, thousands, of people smarter than me have worked on this and that there are very real mathematical reasons behind the shape of the rocket. You know this too. That doesn’t make it any less amusing. No matter how many successful launches, or massive, historic explosions, take place, the rocket is going to be the butt of jokes. 

6 – Nell – Battle Beyond the Stars

Roger Corman’s Battle Beyond the Stars is another 80s classic. It’s another retelling of Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, but IN SPAAAACCCEEE. 

Made for only $2 million dollars, Battle Beyond the Stars is filled with wild designs and amazing visuals, thanks to the young art director who got his big break working on this film: James Cameron. Maybe you’ve heard of him. One of the ships specifically designed by Cameron was Nell, the space ship used by our hero, Shad, as he rounds up criminals, washed-up gunslingers, and other unlikely heroes to save his planet. 

And as you can tell, Nell looks like it has breasts. 

You have to credit James Cameron for designing a very different type of spaceship. The forward-facing arms are the opposite of the typical rear thrusters you see in sci-fi, from everything including the Enterprise-D to Serenity, which makes Nell instantly recognizable. It’s the two low-hanging compartments at the bottom of the ship that make it, well, also instantly recognizable. 

Nell may look different, but in the world of Battle Beyond the Stars, it’s an outdated, older ship with only a pair of wing-mounted laser cannons to take into the climactic battle for the fate of Akira. Most of the ship is taken up by a trio of engines, giving it a speed advantage in battle to compensate for the weak firepower. 

Nell’s design is so iconic that models of the ship were popular for years after the film’s release. Corman reused the design again three years later in other movies, including Space Raiders. It’s the only ship on this list that can claim to be designed by James Cameron, and the only one that looks like a bosom. Can’t forget that. 

5 – Zarkov’s Spaceship – Flash Gordon

Flash Gordon is a sci-fi classic. The old adventure serials helped establish a lot of the sci-fi tropes we still see today, including a rocket that looks exactly like a part of the male anatomy. Brilliant inventor Hans Zarkov built his rocket by hand, and somehow, it works. The girthy ship is able to bring Flash, Zarkov, and Dale Arden to the planet of Ming the Merciless. It’s not the fastest ship out there, but it gets the job done. 

Unlike every ship on this list, Zarkov’s rocket is never shown going fast enough to break the speed of light. Instead, in the old serials and television show, it’s mentioned to be flying 1200 miles per hour. That’s fast, but to put it in perspective, that speed would take you about 7 years to get to Mars. Back when Flash Gordon was first created, 1200 miles per hour was a ludicrous speed. Comic artist Alex Raymond first developed the look for Zarkov’s ship in 1933. 

It first appeared in a 1936 film serial, making this design 90 years old. The intention was for it to be a bullet with fins. That’s….not what it looks like. The old-school retro-futuristic style of science fiction is filled with ships like Zarkov’s that look exactly like a body part. There’s no getting around it. Old book and magazine covers don’t hide the phallic influence. The real science behind this is that a long, cylindrical shape is aerodynamic and able to move through air without much friction. 

Add some engines to the back of a long, firm, cylindrical shape and well…. you get the idea. 

4 – Kryptonian Dropships – Man of Steel

In case you thought inappropriate spaceship designs were all found last century, here comes one you probably forgot all about: Man of Steel’s Kryptonian Dropships. Zach Snyder’s reimagining of Superman for a new century may have divided fans, and there’s a lot to say about Snyder’s sense of style, but at least he has one. For better or worse. In this case, it was for worse, as he purposely wanted the dropships to look phallic as an ode to the retro sci-fi of the 50s. 

All of the Kryptonian ships, in fact, look a little suspect. The prison ships bound for the Phantom Zone? Incredibly suggestive. Clark’s escape pod? It looks like a sperm. And yes, it’s all intentional. Zach Snyder developed the idea that Kryptonian technology was based around birth. Kryptonians had trouble giving birth the natural way, and so this ended up influencing their entire culture. From birthing pods to their spaceship design. 

When General Zod’s Kryptonians reappear in The Flash, they have the same ship designs, so at least the DCU was consistent about giant flying space phalluses. 

Also inappropriate? General Zod’s hair.

3 – The Stratosphere – Flesh Gordon

Remember back in the day when adult film parodies had creative titles? Typically obviously bad puns, like Flesh Gordon? Nowadays it’s all Batman XXX or just straight up The Big Bang Theory. There’s no art to it anymore. And amazingly, Flesh Gordon is more inventive than most parodies of the last few decades. 

Released in 1974, the spoof of the original Flash Gordon serial was obviously put together by sci-fi fans. It pokes fun at the absurdity of the original series while throwing a little naked flesh up on screen. That’s not the memorable part. 

Flesh Gordon took the design of Zarkov’s rocketship and turned it into an actual dong. There is no denying that ship is a flying dong. The intentional choice to point out every retro spaceship has a phallic design is a sight gag that still gets passed around today on social media. 

The best part is, they didn’t have to change a lot from the original Zarkov design. Flesh Gordon changed all the names because of, well, parody law, including Ming the Merciless to Emperor Wang the Perverted, Zarkov is Jerkoff, and Prince Barin is now Prince Precious. It’s campy, it’s over the top, and it was nominated for a Hugo award in 1975, which makes it legitimate enough to qualify for this list. I don’t know what to tell you. The 70s were a very different time. 

2 – Alien Ship – The Explorers 

Dumped into the summer box office of 1985 only nine days after the release of Back to the Future, The Explorers was a complete flop that, as with most sci-fi of the 80s, became a cult classic on VHS. Directed by Joe Dante and starring both Ethan Hawke and River Phoenix in their debut roles, The Explorers is a fun, family-friendly adventure through space in a homemade spaceship. There’s nothing wrong with the boys’ ship, Thunder Road, but, well, look up, and you’ll see what one of the alien ships looks like.

Oh come on. Seriously!? There’s even a hole in the tip. 

There is absolutely no question what that ship looks like. Joe Dante had to have done this on purpose. It would fit his sense of humor. I’m going to tell myself this was on purpose. That giant ship is piloted by the father of two aliens the boys meet who learned about Earth from television reruns. 

That gag in Futurama about Single Female Lawyer? It came from The Explorers. One of the aliens, Wak, and Wak’s dad, are both played by Star Trek and Stargate veteran Robert Picardo. 

The Explorers is a fun film, right up until they meet the aliens, and then it all falls apart. You have to admit, the alien ship may be a little inappropriate, but Thunder Road has a cool, semi-truck design to it that makes it stand out in a sea of suggestive spaceships.

1 – Lexx – Lexx 

There’s nothing quite like Lexx. One of the lowest budgets of any sci-fi series of the 90s didn’t stop the production team from going nuts when designing Lexx, the most powerful weapon in both universes. 

The organic spaceship resembles a giant insect, until you see it from behind, and then you can tell it’s packing. 

The inside of the Lexx is also completely organic, leading to a lot of pulling and tugging on flesh for basic functions, from steering the ship to taking a shower.

Every inch of the ship is a reminder that Lexx is the most sex-obsessed sci-fi series ever made. Not even Flesh Gordon talked about it as much as the crew of the Lexx. Thankfully, we know Lexx was designed to be as suggestive as possible. The production crew has been very upfront about that, usually while giggling in interviews. The ship even had a male voice and a male personality, except for that one time it turned into a female weapon of mass destruction. 

Lexx itself didn’t have a good grasp on the concept of human mating, giving its Captain, Stanley, one of the worst people in existence, a hard time when he wanted to fly to a planet of loose women. 

No ship is more phallic than Lexx. That’s by design, but as you can tell, the production crew had to somehow outdo over 80 years of inappropriate ship design to put it together. Lexx is also the most powerful ship on this list, capable of destroying entire planets, devouring countless civilians, and it’s the only ship to eat Holland. 

Inside and out, nothing will ever beat Lexx when it comes to being inappropriate.