Entertainment
Zooey Deschanel's Raunchy Comedy Explains Why Your Relationships Always Fail
By Chris Snellgrove
| Updated
You know how memes can sometimes be accidentally profound? For example, one of my favorites is when people share this hilarious quote from Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace: “I know writers who use subtext, they’re all cowards.” In the context of the show, this quote is meant to highlight what a bad storyteller Marenghi himself is. Over two decades after that show aired its last episode, this quote highlights how the very opposite is true. Writers who use subtext are actually quite brave because they are unleashing intelligent content on audiences who are largely too dumb to actually understand any of it.
This is particularly true of screenwriting because so many movie lovers never look beyond the surface. That’s why, say, people think RoboCop and Starship Troopers are just cool, violent action movies instead of a poignant commentary on society. The best example of this phenomenon, however, is actually a sweet, sexy romantic comedy: (500) Days of Summer. It’s easy to get lost in the banter and the bluster of the relationship between characters played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel. However, beneath the silly comedy is a very serious truth, one that explains why your relationships keep falling apart, no matter how hard you try.
An Adorkable Office Romance
The premise of (500) Days of Summer (and beware some spoilers if you’ve never seen it!) is that an aspiring architect (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) falls head over heels in love with his boss’s new assistant (Zooey Deschanel). After she spontaneously kisses him, he agrees to a casual relationship, and the two end up having plenty of fun together. Unfortunately, he wants something serious, and she wants more of a casual, friends-with-benefits kind of relationship. Eventually, they have a nasty breakup, but things work out for the best: he rebounds by throwing himself into his dream career, while his carefree ex eventually finds a man that she wants to marry.
For the most part, (500) Days of Summer plays out like a standard rom-com with a few heavy doses of drama thrown in. In other words, not the kind of movie that men usually get their panties in a twist over. Nonetheless, this fluffy film has proven controversial because it is built around an unreliable narrator. Most of the film is from the perspective of Tom, the hopeless romantic played by Gordon-Levitt. After Summer (the carefree cutie played by Deschanel) breaks up with Tom because she doesn’t want anything serious, many viewers felt a sense of betrayal, as if she had thrown away a good man and settled down with her first rebound.
This Is Why Your Relationships Fail
Of course, the irony of dudes getting big mad at this film is that (500) Days of Summer is trying to gently explain why so many relationships fail. There’s a common belief that most couples break up because one partner stops putting in much effort, effectively killing the spark they once shared. But that isn’t the case in this movie because Tom tries so hard to make things work with Summer; in point of fact, he tries too hard, which ultimately pushes her away. Men who take Tom’s side in all this are often perplexed and even angry. After all, how can Tom do everything right and still lose the girl?
The short answer, of course, is that he didn’t do everything right. The timey-wimey structure of (500) Days of Summer shows us different points in the couple’s relationships, effectively exploring the emotional highs and lows of their time together. Viewers, much like Tom himself, subconsciously focus only on the happy moments, not realizing how important their fights and differing viewpoints are. These aren’t small issues; rather, they are cracks in a foundation that wasn’t very strong to begin with. A foundation that began with a critical misunderstanding: Tom wants a serious girlfriend, and Summer just wants casual fun without putting any kind of definitive label on what they’re doing.
Are You Thinking The Same Thing?
The people who get angriest at Summer are the men who feel like she’s giving off mixed messages with her behavior. We see her holding hands with Tom, enjoying romantic dinners, and even watching weird porn together, which some think are signifiers of a serious relationship. But to believe that, the haters have to do exactly what Tom did: ignore the words coming out of Summer’s mouth. She repeatedly tries telling the man that she doesn’t want a committed, long-term relationship, but he only really sees and hears what he wants to. Therefore, his attempts to be the ultimate marriage material boyfriend backfire because that’s the last thing she’s looking for.
So, fellas, what’s the lesson here, and how can it help you navigate your own relationships? The first and arguably most important thing is making sure that all parties are on the same page. If you’re interested in a girl, you need to ask her exactly what she’s looking for. Is she trying to find Mr. Right or just Mr. Right Now? There’s nothing wrong if you both want a friends-with-benefits situationship or even if you want to explore more adventurous dynamics like ethical nonmonogamy or polyamory. The only thing wrong at this stage is doing exactly what Tom did: simply assuming your partner wants the exact same thing you do.
Much To Ponder
Beyond that, there’s a lesson especially pertinent to younger viewers: your love life doesn’t have to move at warp speed. It doesn’t matter if all your friends are getting engaged or whatever; if you’re not ready to be, then don’t worry about it. Once you find someone, you shouldn’t be like Tom and instantly assume you’re in love. Instead, you should take the time to make sure you are both compatible. Finally, you need to be honest in assessing the good and the bad of your relationship. If you put on optimistic blinders as Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character did, it’s only a matter of time before you get blindsided.
(500) Days of Summer is a great movie, specifically because of its brilliant subtext. To really appreciate the film, you must do as Tom did and see things from Summer’s perspective. Doing this in your own relationship is a great way to stay connected to your partner and prevent minor issues from becoming major catastrophes. Doing so also helps you understand whether you’re in love with the real person or just your idea of them. Need a little more love advice? Believe it or not, it’s free! (500) Days of Summer is currently streaming on Tubi.
Entertainment
T-Mobile and Umbro are dropping an exclusive soccer jersey just in time for the World Cup finals
Fashion collabs are taking over the world right now; I’ve seen some partnerships that I’d never thought would happen (Naomi Osaka’s Wimbledon dress sold out within hours). But with the World Cup ending on July 19, everyone’s trying to get a piece of that soccer advertising pie, including T-Mobile.
Today, T-Mobile announced that it’s teaming up with Umbro (an iconic sportswear brand) to create limited-edition jerseys exclusively for T-Mobile members. And from the photos, they don’t look half bad (most collabs are kitschy and just short-lived fads). I could definitely see someone wearing one of these jerseys while running errands or going about their day.
Credit: Atiba Jefferson
The drop won’t happen until Tuesday, July 7, and as I mentioned above, you have to be a T-Mobile member to get one. They’ll be available exclusively through the T-Life app for $60 on a first-come, first-served basis. Once they sell out, they’re gone.
Mashable Light Speed
T-Mobile is framing the surprise collab as a way to celebrate a “record-breaking Member Month” (apparently, nearly 14 million members engaged during the first week alone).
Even if you miss out on the jersey, the other perks it’s throwing at qualifying members right now are pretty great. Along with bringing back a free year of DoorDash DashPass, T-Mobile’s basically paying for its members’ streaming subscriptions with free Netflix, Hulu, and MLB.TV. It even added Apple TV+ for $3 per month, plus free texting and high-speed data in more than 215 countries if you happen to be traveling this summer.
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Sports
FIFA World Cup
Entertainment
The Greatest TV Show Just Sold Out, And It May Ruin Everything
By Chris Snellgrove
| Updated
We’re still living in the Golden Age of Television, with new must-see shows popping up all the time. However, there’s one that has yet to be dethroned as arguably the greatest series ever made: Breaking Bad. Courtesy of showrunner Vince Gilligan, Breaking Bad captivated the entire world with its tale of a cancer-ridden science teacher (Walter White) forced to sell meth in order to afford medical care. It soon went beyond this provocative premise with a tale about power, corruption, and redemption. Breaking Bad even became a cross-generational hit, appealing to Zoomers as much as it does to Millennials.
The Breaking Bad franchise continued with a movie focusing on Jesse Pinkman (El Camino) and a spinoff show about Walter’s hilariously shady lawyer (Better Call Saul). All were well-received, and the entire franchise is regarded as the standard of modern storytelling. Unfortunately, everyone’s favorite dramatic franchise just sold out. IMG Licensing and Sony Pictures Television have teamed up in order to develop an entire global licensing program dedicated to the Breaking Bad Universe.
He Is The One Who Snacks
According to The Hollywood Reporter, IMG and Sony are developing a Breaking Bad licensing program as part of a “multi-year collaboration” that “will deliver consumer products, brand partnerships and immersive fan experiences worldwide.” In conjunction with franchise creator Vince Gilligan, they hope to “identify strategic partners across key categories including premium apparel, collectibles, food and beverage, home decor, travel, publishing, and experiential activations.” The goal is simple: to appeal to existing Breaking Bad fans while bringing some new ones into the fold. What makes all of this notable is that this is “the first time Sony has appointed an external licensing agency to develop a global licensing program for the franchise.”
When I first heard this news, my heart sank a little bit. I’ve never had a problem with basic Breaking Bad merchandise; after all, as one of the most popular shows ever made, it was inevitable that the show would get its predictable bevy of t-shirts, action figures, and even blue rock candy made to look like Walter White’s signature brand of meth. However, I absolutely despised the 2023 Super Bowl commercial that brought Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul back together to sell Popcorners. It badly recreated memorable Breaking Bad scenes and ended with Cranston uttering the cringiest line of all: “I am the one who snacks.”
Breaking Bad: The Search For More Money
Maybe I’m just old and cranky, but I hated that commercial because it cheapened the entire Breaking Bad brand, all to sell some freakin’ potato chip alternative that nobody ever has or ever will actually care about. Now, that was the kind of weird stuff that was happening before executives started working with a global licensing program. Things have the potential to get a lot worse, like Star Wars-style Happy Meals, AI-powered parody commercials, reality shows, etc. Trust me: no matter how bad you think it will be, this is ultimately going to get much, much worse.
For example, I’ve got a bad feeling about those aforementioned “immersive experiences.” Are we going to get pop-up stands where you can lie down on a huge stack of fake money for a photo opportunity? Competitions where we see how well you can land an oversized pizza frisbee on top of a house? Maybe there will be an interactive game where you can attempt to save Hank from certain death. Could some of this be fun and memorable? Maybe. But all of it would serve to further dilute the IP, making Breaking Bad more like Star Wars. That is, nothing more than an excuse to sell as much merchandise as humanly possible.
As always, I could be wrong. Maybe we’ll get plenty of tasteful merch and genuinely awesome experiences, especially since Vince Gilligan is involved. But if this licensing program produces mostly crap, it will be the worst of both worlds, keeping Gilligan from meaningfully working on anything new while lowering our general opinion about his integrity as a creator. With that said, though, we can agree on one thing: all will be forgiven if they introduce Los Pollos Hermanos as a global brand selling fried chicken. Be sure to get a side order of blue meth for the most immersive experience of them all!
Entertainment
The Numbers Are In, And Supergirl’s Word Of Mouth Is Really, Really Bad
By Chris Snellgrove
| Published
Right now, Supergirl’s box office is looking pretty grim. Things seemed bad enough when the movie was projected to earn, domestically, between $45-$55 million in the first weekend, which was less than half of what Superman earned last year ($125 million). However, those projections just kept shrinking as we got closer to the film’s official release. Now, it looks like the film will earn more like $40 million domestically, with Toy Story 5 absolutely trouncing it at the box office. At this point, Supergirl’s only real shot at box office success is if it, like Obsession, gets great word-of-mouth to get more butts in seats in the coming weeks.
Unfortunately, it looks like that’s just not going to happen. According to PostTrak (which surveys moviegoers on how they felt about a film immediately after they leave the theater), only 52 percent of those who saw Supergirl would definitely recommend that others see it. This effectively compounds the bad box office problems: only a few people showed up to see this blockbuster film, and of the ones who did turn out, only about half said they would enthusiastically recommend it. In the short-term, this is bad for Supergirl; in the long run, though, this may spell disaster for the DCU.
Really Bad Word Of Mouth
Considering that it’s a blockbuster summer tentpole and the second film of the DCU, Supergirl’s box office is looking grim. The movie was basically dead on arrival, and everyone is now conducting an autopsy on exactly what went wrong. Much of that is up for debate: many blame writer Ana Nogueira, while others blame DC Studios CEO James Gunn, who hired Nogueira and championed her script as one of the best he has ever seen. Of course, many blame Craig Gillespie, the director who transformed a beloved, buzzworthy comic (Supergirl: The Woman of Tomorrow) into a largely bland and forgettable romp through space.
Whoever deserves the most blame, one thing’s for sure: Supergirl has failed to impress about half of those who saw it. According to PostTrak, men made up 59 percent of the movie’s audience, and only 45 percent would definitely recommend that others see it. Women made up 41 percent of the audience, and 62 percent of them would definitely recommend that others see it. Crunch those numbers, and you are left with only 52 percent of those surveyed saying they would enthusiastically recommend that others watch Supergirl.
It Gets Even Worse
Supergirl getting such poor word of mouth helps to partially explain why the movie’s opening weekend projections just keep lowering. In fact, some estimate that it may earn closer to $35 million domestically in its opening weekend. Believe it or not, though, things get even worse when you compare Supergirl to other tights-and-flights films. For example, it had a CinemaScore rating of B-, which may not sound that bad. But that’s a lower rating than The Flash, which is widely considered the movie that killed the DCEU. It’s a lower rating than The Marvels, which is the first MCU film to actually lose money.
Speaking of money, The Marvels earned $47 million domestically in its opening weekend, which is at least $7 million more than Supergirl will earn. Heck, even Morbius, the internet’s favorite punchline of a movie, earned $39.1 million, making (believe it or not) a profit; Supergirl will be a loss for the studio. To put this even more in perspective, this latest DCU film is doing badly enough at the box office that it may not even earn $200 million worldwide by the time it leaves theaters. Put another way, Spider-Man: Brand New Day may earn more in its opening weekend than Supergirl does in its entire run!
Obviously, all of this spells bad news for Supergirl. But it may spell even worse news for the DCU as a whole. That’s because, among other things, this bad box office and poor word-of-mouth prove that audiences won’t necessarily show up for feature films featuring relatively minor characters. That means we might get a correspondingly terrible box office for Clayface, the movie about a Batman villain that is inexplicably coming out before Batman makes his DCU debut.
Plus, Supergirl writer Ana Nogueira is going to be writing the scripts for both Wonder Woman and Teen Titans. Unlike Supergirl, these characters are absolute fan-favorites, and in the hands of the right writer, they could be runaway successes for the DCU. But if the scripts for those films end up being as mediocre as Supergirl’s, they may similarly implode. Should those films flop, they may cause some serious collateral damage. Namely, they may destroy this cinematic universe as surely as The Flash destroyed the DCU, leaving Marvel with no real rival as the MCU reboots its entire universe with Avengers: Secret Wars.
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