By Jonathan Klotz
| Published 19 seconds ago

If your Roman Empire is the Roman Empire, you’ve already seen Spartacus. Not the 1960 film with Kirk Douglas. The bloody, violent, sex-filled Starz series that took the world by storm in 2010 and proved the overlooked cable network was capable of hanging with Showtime and HBO. 

Now that it’s on Netflix, the award-winning, over-the-top pulp hit is going to be your next binge. That is, if you can get past the first three episodes. Even in 2010, they weren’t great, but after that, the series kicks into high gear, and for three seasons, multiple spin-offs, betrayals, murders, and lots of sex, it never lets up.

The Roman Empire Like You’ve Never Seen It Before

Spartacus, like most gladiator stories, starts off with the Romans betraying a man, kidnapping his wife, and forcing him to fight in the Colosseum as a gladiator. The unnamed Thracen (Andy Whitfield) is dubbed Spartacus by his owner Batiatus (The Mummy’s John Hannah), after the legendary Thracen king. With the promise he’ll be reunited with his wife, Spartacus fights in the gladiator pits for Batiatus, entertaining the Roman elite, including Batiatus’ wife, Lucretia (Lucy Lawless). It’s all going great for the Romans until Spartacus’ wife turns up dead, Batiatus is found responsible, and with nothing left to lose, Spartacus decides to “kill them all.” 

It’s a simple story, but it’s effective. The gladiator rebellion leads to some of the most satisfying deaths you’ll ever see on screen, and since it was on Starz, there’s no sugarcoating the bloody violence that hits the streets of ancient Rome. Spartacus: Blood and Sand is only the beginning, but it’s not the beginning, as Starz turned the series into a franchise with a prequel (Spartacus: Gods of the Arena) and more recently, a sequel series exploring an alternate timeline (Spartacus: House of Ashur). 

Behind The Scenes Tragedy Changed Everything

When the star of Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Andy Whitfield, revealed he had lymphoma following the filming of the first season, Starz did what no other studio would do and decided to rework all of their plans to support him. Pivoting to the prequel, Gods of the Arena, featuring Batiatus, Lucretia, and Crixius (Arrow’s Manu Bennett), they wanted to give Whitfield time to beat cancer and come back. Sadly, he passed away 18 months after his diagnosis, leading to Spartacus being recast with Liam McIntyre. 

The show went on for two more seasons, dubbed Vengeance and War of the Damned, both of which include more of what made the first season so great: blood, sex, pulpy action, and ridiculous campy dialogue. This is not a high-brow Shakespearean take on the Roman Empire, which means you’re either going to love it, or hate it. There is no middle ground when it comes to Spartacus. 

There’s Nothing Like Spartacus

Spartacus takes a little bit to get going, and in those initial three episodes, you’ll see some of the worst greenscreen effects imaginable. The initial battle between the Thracians and the Getae looks like it takes place on the set of a community theater. But stick with it; the reward is a series that ends up finding its way, and Rome has never looked better than in War of the Damned.

The entire series is currently streaming on Netflix, and yes, it is uncensored, which means all the nudity (both male and female) is uncut. If you binge Spartacus and still need more, House of Ashur recently wrapped up its first season, and there’s more on the way. 

By TeeJay Small
| Published 1 hour ago

If you’re a fan of violent horror films, you’ve probably seen your fair share of simulated blood and gore. From shootouts, to monster flicks, to brutal car crashes with glass streaming across the dashboard, it can be difficult to shock modern audiences.

Even still, 2015’s Bone Tomahawk is one of the most jaw-droppingly violent movies I’ve ever encountered, offering some truly horrific visual effects, gripping performances, and a terrifying ending that will keep you awake for days.

Squirting And Screaming

Bone Tomahawk was written and directed by brutalist filmmaker and certified sicko S. Craig Zahler. Despite being his directorial debut, and working with a shoestring budget, Zahler managed to drum up tremendous support for his script, courting the likes of Kurt Russell, Patrick Wilson, Richard Jenkins, and David Arquette in the leading roles. The film centers on a small-town sheriff and his gang of cowboys as they attempt to rescue a group of civilians from a clan of bloodthirsty cannibals.

As the gunslingers venture forth into no-man’s land, they realize that they’re being hunted by the cannibal tribe, known only as the Troglodytes. Against the advice of everyone, from the local anthropologist to members of other local native tribes, the gang attempts to save the hostages, only to be dismantled in increasingly horrific ways. As the narrative of Bone Tomahawk progresses, the main characters are scalped, tortured, and dragged through the desert squirting blood and screaming. Most of the horror unfolds in broad daylight, too, which gives the film a very unique and visually interesting palette compared to other horror slashers.

So Beyond Violent, We Can’t Even Show It Here

There’s genuinely no way for me to oversell how violent this movie is. It’s more like a snuff film than a traditional western, making it a perfect watch for the horror fan that feels like they’ve seen it all. After Bone Tomahawk released, it quickly gained status as a cult classic, paving the way for S. Craig Zahler to helm additional ultra-violent outings such as Brawl in Cell Block 99 and Dragged Across Concrete.

Personally, I’ve always been a big fan of the Western genre, though many old school Westerns are too corny and straightforward for modern viewing. Bone Tomahawk takes the idea of a Western and turns it on its head, giving you a shocking change of pace that makes the film feel unlike anything else. Today, the film has a near-perfect 91 percent critic score on Rotten Tomatoes, and no official rating from the MPAA. That’s probably for the best, because I don’t even know how you’d begin to rate something like this.

If you’re interested in checking out Bone Tomahawk today, and you don’t have a particularly weak stomach, be sure to give this one a spin on Hulu. Afterwards, be sure to watch something less gruesome to wind down, like Kill Bill, or a World War II documentary.

By Robert Scucci
| Published 4 seconds ago

My favorite heist movies always involve bumbling protagonists who are really smart and good at the one thing they’re good at, but terrible at everything else. Which is why I was beyond thrilled to learn that Christopher Lambert and Christopher Lloyd shared the screen in 1990’s Why Me?, a comedy of errors involving two burglars who accidentally steal a priceless artifact that sends the whole world into a tizzy. What’s most impressive, though, is that both Lloyd and Lambert have done very well for themselves as supporting characters throughout their careers, but they both thrive sharing the lead in Why Me?

They share enough screen time to have their own individual shining moments, but the magic really happens when they’re riffing off each other as two of the dumbest criminals known to man while somehow staying one step ahead of their adversaries, despite remaining totally clueless most of the time.

Two Goofy Dudes Getting Chased By Goons

Why Me? kicks off with a seemingly simple robbery that sets the full conflict in motion. This first robbery involves The Byzantine Fire, an extremely valuable ruby making its rounds through the museum circuit in the United States for the first time ever. As it turns out, a group of religious extremists steal the rock, evade the authorities, and hide it in their safe-deposit box.

Completely unaware of this high-level thievery, low-level jewel thief Gus Cardinale (Christopher Lambert) just so happens to unwittingly break into that same safe-deposit box looking for a big score. In the process, he steals The Byzantine Fire, but he’s mostly interested in the box of diamonds valued at a million dollars. For context, The Byzantine Fire is a priceless, sacred, highly sought-after ruby that can’t even be reasonably appraised because of its rarity.

Knowing that he’s on the lam for stealing the diamonds, Gus doesn’t even think to mention The Byzantine Fire, which he assumes is probably a fancy knockoff that happened to be in the safe-deposit box, when he gets together with his partner Bruno (Christopher Lloyd) to figure out how they can get away with fencing the diamonds in their possession. Sitting there the whole time with a look of equal parts affection and disappointment is Gus’ girlfriend, June (Kim Greist), who wants him to stop working as a thief and find legitimate work.

Luck is not on either Gus or Bruno’s side in Why Me?, resulting in the duo being chased not only by the LAPD, but also Police Chief Francis Mahoney (J.T. Walsh), the Turkish government, and an extremely pissed-off Armenian terrorist named Gatou Vardebedian (Wendel Meldrum). It’s a full-on comedy of errors about two guys who are way in over their heads over an object they don’t even realize they have in their possession for a good two-thirds of the movie.

The Two Chris’ Commit

One blind spot I had before sitting down with Why Me? was Christopher Lambert’s willingness to do slapstick comedy. While he’s no Jim Carrey on the physical comedy front, he commits to the bit, and his facial expressions do a lot of the comedic heavy lifting. His ability to play somebody so clueless is half the fun because, on paper, he’s the last person you’d want in your corner if you had to make a serious judgment call, despite his good intentions.

One of his best scenes involves helping a little girl unlock her bike without hesitation, only for the real owner to show up seconds later wondering where the hell his Huffy went. Blissfully unaware that he’s now an accessory to theft, Gus just smiles and keeps walking as if the satisfaction of committing a good deed immediately blinds him to what’s actually happening around him.

Christopher Lloyd plays the straight man, if you could call it that, in the sense that Bruno is just as idiotic as Gus, but at the very least seems to think scenarios through before impulsively acting on them. This odd-couple dynamic drives Why Me? exactly where it needs to go by the third act, when every antagonist closes in and they have to figure out how to return the ruby, secure the diamonds they originally intended to steal but lost, and walk away from the entire ordeal without ending up in jail.

Why Me? is pure, goofy fun with two leads who clearly understood the assignment and ran with the premise. Is it the funniest movie ever made? Not by a longshot, but if you want to see both Chrises in their element, sharing the spotlight without ever overstaying their welcome, you can stream the film for free on Tubi as of this writing.