Entertainment
The Iconic, R-Rated 90s Video Game That's Screaming For A Film Adaptation
By Robert Scucci
| Published

If you grew up in the 90s playing first-person shooters on MS-DOS, you probably have fond memories of sneaking in sessions of Duke Nukem 3D. While we never had gaming consoles in my household, my parents had no qualms about me playing PC games like Doom, Quake, and Wolfenstein. For reasons I will never fully understand, Super Mario Bros. was forbidden fare, but blasting space demons and zombies with rocket launchers and mowing down Nazis with machine guns was considered a perfectly acceptable way to spend a rainy afternoon.
I think the real reason was that my parents did not want to spend money on a console when we already had a perfectly good computer sitting in the family room. In retrospect, I kind of respect that decision. It meant I had access to adventure puzzle games like The Seventh Guest and Myst, along with the above-mentioned shooters that were absolutely not meant for kids my age.

In 1996, Duke Nukem 3D was everywhere, and I remember watching my dad get hooked on it one weekend in his office. I could hear explosions and laughter through the door, which naturally made me curious. That was my introduction to a game that was wildly inappropriate for a kid, but I was lucky enough to have parents who let me watch R-rated action movies as long as we talked about why certain behaviors on screen were not meant to be copied in real life.
That brings me to the real heart of this article. Why, in the year 2026, do we still not have a Duke Nukem movie? The property feels tailor-made for an R-rated action comedy. It is violent, self-aware, and ridiculous. There are strippers and aliens, pigs dressed as cops, lizard troopers, and catchphrases pulled straight from films like Aliens, Dirty Harry, They Live, Jaws, and Pulp Fiction. Duke Nukem 3D is routinely cited as one of the greatest video games ever made, and the franchise reportedly generated well over a billion dollars by the early 2000s. A faithful adaptation would go absolutely gangbusters.
A Simple Yet Effective Action Hero

A movie based on the Duke Nukem character would not be difficult to pull off because the story is intentionally lean. Duke arrives in Los Angeles aboard his space cruiser, ready for a much-needed vacation. His ship gets shot down by aliens who have invaded and taken over the city, and he is understandably irritated about having to clean up their mess. Armed with his Mighty Foot and an arsenal that includes shotguns, triple-barrelled chain guns, grenade launchers, and pipe bombs, Duke tears through Assault Troopers, Pig Cops, Battlelord Sentries, and Enforcers.
What truly sets Duke Nukem 3D apart from its contemporaries is how interactive the environments are. Duke crawls through air vents, blows apart buildings by hitting detonation switches that are just laying around willy-nilly, kicks fire hydrants and drinks from water fountains to power up, and even tips strippers for a quick show before getting back to work. It is juvenile, excessive, and completely unapologetic. When Duke says he is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, a quote attributed to Roddy Piper in They Live!, he means it.

The amount of controversy the game attracted from special interest groups over its content is exactly why Duke Nukem would thrive as an R-rated action comedy today. With the right creative team attached, the tone does not need to be reinvented or overhauled at all.
Attempts Have Been Made
There has never been a shortage of interest in bringing Duke Nukem to the big screen. As early as 2001, when the franchise was riding high, Threshold Entertainment attempted to get a feature film off the ground, but it never made it out of development. Another effort surfaced in 2008 from Max Payne producer Scott Faye, though that version stalled just as quickly.

The closest we came to a Duke Nukem movie was in 2018, when Paramount Pictures and Platinum Dunes were having discussions with John Cena to take on the lead role. It was a near-perfect casting choice, but the rights were in transition at the time, and the project was quietly shelved.
The most recent development came in 2022, when Legendary Entertainment announced that it had acquired the rights to produce a Duke Nukem film, with Cobra Kai creators Josh Heald and Jon Hurwitz attached. Since then, updates have been scarce, which unfortunately feels par for the course for this franchise.

If it takes another five years for anything concrete to happen, so be it. I just hope Cena is still able to step into the role. Projects like Ricky Stanicky have already proven that his comedic timing is a perfect match for a character like Duke Nukem. The image of him kicking a fire hydrant for health before tossing a pipe bomb into a movie theater and getting frisky with the ladies deserves to exist outside of my imagination.
What this movie needs is simple. Enemies that respawn endlessly, one-liners delivered without restraint, and waves of identical henchmen getting obliterated as Duke reluctantly fights his way back to vacation. This does not need to be high art. It needs to be an ultra-violent alien invasion, solved by the coolest video game character to ever appear on a computer screen.
Entertainment
Samsung finally sets a date: Galaxy Unpacked is coming Feb. 25
Our long national nightmare is over. We finally know when Samsung is going to show off the Galaxy S26 lineup.
The Korean tech giant confirmed that the next Galaxy Unpacked livestream will take place on Wednesday, Feb. 25 at 10 a.m. PT (9 a.m. ET). The event is in San Francisco this year, and it’s widely expected that Samsung will show off three new Galaxy S26 phones.
As per usual, you can watch the event on Samsung’s website or Samsung’s YouTube channel.
Mashable Light Speed
Mashable will be at the event and reporting live on all of the announcements, so keep checking back for the latest updates on Galaxy Unpacked.
Hosting the event this late in February is highly unusual for Samsung, which usually launches its next-gen Galaxy phones in January. It’s not really clear why Samsung took as long as it did to put Unpacked together this year, as it doesn’t seem like the S26 lineup is doing anything too wild to shake up the formula, though production delays and the global memory shortage may be factors.
All reports point to the usual lineup (S26, S26 Plus, and S26 Ultra) returning this year, with typical upgrades like a newer processor and bigger batteries.
It also wouldn’t be surprising to see some camera upgrades or new AI features, and we’ve already reported on a ton of S26-related leaks and rumors. We’ll all find out together in a couple of weeks.
Topics
Samsung
Samsung Unpacked
Entertainment
What I Won’t Tell My Friend About Dementia


“My dad got diagnosed on Tuesday, and I’m scared.” My friend’s text comes in the middle of the night.
I sit on the toilet at 3 a.m., considering how to welcome her to the most awful club.
My own mother was diagnosed with dementia a few weeks into COVID, shortly after my husband and I had asked her and my dad to move nearby and help with the kids, drowning as we were in online kindergarten. My mom had been a little “off” for years, and then forgetful, then increasingly paranoid. But she’d always been in love with the grandkids and our family. It was both a devastating surprise of a diagnosis, and not.
Now, years into this experience, the texts come regularly when friends’ parents are diagnosed. Every time I pause. What can I say that will help? What can I share of my experience that isn’t just the pain, the pain, the pain? There are so many things I want to tell her, and so many that I feel I can’t.
I lie awake feeling the chasm between myself now and myself the moment of my mom’s diagnosis, trying to find rocks to stand on in this river — something solid I can share with my friend, something that might steady her as the current pulls.
I’ll tell her what came before the diagnosis, because I know my friend’s loss has already started. The months or years before a diagnosis are their own kind of hell, not knowing what is happening. Questioning one’s own mother — wondering if she’s aging or sick or just being difficult — is a loss of its own, even before doctors are involved.
I’ll tell her about my mom showing up when my daughter was born, paranoid that our house had bed bugs despite no evidence, no bites. I took my newborn to the library when she was two days old so my husband and dad could inspect everything. I felt angry, abandoned, confused — I’d just given birth, but she was the one acting crazy. Now I know she wasn’t crazy, she was sick.
I’ll tell my friend that I hope now she is less lonely. My mom’s diagnosis at least gave a name to the pain I had been feeling of losing someone I loved, and it allowed me to talk about it more openly with friends. While there was so much grief in her diagnosis, there was also a clearer way to understand what my family had been moving through.
Along with the diagnosis came endless, impossible decisions. We spent a long time terrified of moving my mom into a care facility. She was the matriarch of our family, deeply in love with my dad and her garden, and it felt dehumanizing to take her away from what she knew. But she was wandering alone into the snow, waking up in the middle of the night to unplug every single appliance in the house, convinced the computer was going to catch fire. My dad wasn’t sleeping. My siblings and I became just as worried about his health as our mom’s.
There was a precise pain I felt the last time my mom was in my house — knowing it would be the last time, knowing she didn’t know that. She was joyful. We’d had Christmas with all the grandkids, and she and my dad had worn train conductor hats as the kids collected hot chocolate from them, Polar Express style. But she was also having bizarre mood swings and flashes of anger — at one point she tried to put out the fire with a large butcher knife.
The move to a care facility was clearly the right call. The experience reminded me of my kids starting daycare. It felt like a HUGE deal beforehand, then once she was there it was clear she was so happy. I slept better knowing my dad could rest and my mom was chatting with her new friend Martha over puzzles, and happy singing in the afternoon sessions. I fell in love with the people who cared for her, just as I had with my kids’ daycare teachers.
I’ll also tell my friend some small things that helped. When my mom had first shown signs of dementia, we encouraged her to complete a StoryWorth book. We now read her stories to her, and they calm her. My daughter reads them in her own bed every night. Sometimes that makes me cry. When she was still home and starting to wander, we put an AirTag in her shoe. We try to take care of the staff of her facility with the same care they give her — stocking the staff lounge with snacks, writing thank you cards, offering genuine gratitude.
Lying in bed in the middle of the night, I hold onto these practical steps like a life raft, because the emotional truth is harder. I’ll tell my friend that nothing anyone says will feel good. Things I hear regularly — “this has been so hard for so long” and “it’s happening so fast” — make me want to throw things even though (or, really, because) they are true.
But I’ll tell her what did help: friends who showed up without words. Junk food waiting at my parents’ house before a tough visit. Fancy shower products after I mentioned crying in the shower. Their presence in the hardest moments made me feel less alone.
Mostly, when I talk to my friend, I will tell her I am so sorry.
But I will not tell her everything. I will not tell her what’s coming, because if I had known how painful this was going to be, I would have welcomed the bed bugs, the fire, the knife.
I will not tell her about emergency calls to my therapist; the reports we get from my father’s daily visits; my mom currently being on her thirteenth month of hospice. I will not tell her I now understand the word agony.
Instead, I might tell her this: My mom was a woman who loved to help. A theater director and school librarian, she loved nothing more than telling people what to do. In some ways, helping friends now feels like honoring her — trying to make sense and meaning of her story.
When I’m talking to my friend, I also know I will have the exact same feeling that I still have when sitting by my mom’s bedside — there is so much more to say, so much left unsaid. I will want to say to my friend, as I want to say to my mom, she is doing great. The love won’t go away, it never could. Everything else may go, but as the current pulls us both forward, I can tell her this: the love remains.
And of course, I will tell my friend the one thing I cannot truthfully tell my mom, as much as I want to — she will survive this. She will. Most days, I remember I will too.
Kathleen Donahoe is a writer and poet living in Seattle. She has previously written for Cup of Jo about how she stopped drinking. She is writing her first novel and warmly invites you to follow her free Substack newsletter, A Little Laugh.
P.S. Rebecca Handler’s beautiful essay on loving her father through his final years of Alzheimer’s, and a parenting realization that really moved me.
(Photo by Darina Belonogova/Stocksy.)
Entertainment
Big Salad’s Birthday Sale!


This week only, we’re offering 20% off annual subscriptions to Big Salad, our weekly newsletter (and the #1 fashion/beauty publication on Substack). For $4/month, you will get every issue for a year — packed with fun finds, life realizations, and essays on sex, dating, love, marriage, divorce, parenting, and friendship — plus access to our deep archives.
Last Friday, I wrote about a dating realization I had that changed everything (gift link, free for all). The comments were truly incredible, and I felt really moved by the ability to share relationship (and life) highs and lows with women who really get it. We really are all in this together.
Here are a few more issues you may enjoy…
On sex, dating, relationships, and friendship:
The genius advice my therapist gave me when my marriage ended.
What it felt like to have sex for the first time post-divorce.
How do you know if it’s time to get divorced?
Four ways I’ve learned to deepen friendships.
The book that profoundly changed my friend’s sex life.
Reader question: “I want to talk dirty in bed, but I’m nervous.”
Nine habits that are making my 40s my favorite decade.
On fashion and beauty:
How to style a shirt like a Copenhagen girl.
7 things we spotted people wearing in Paris (plus, two magic Paris itineraries).
13 beauty products we always finish.
Do I get botox or filler? Readers asked, and I answered. 🙂
At age 46, I finally figured out my hair.
Gemma’s #1 drugstore beauty find.
Our 13 favorite swimsuits.
And, most of all, amazing life insights from women we love:
Ashley C. Ford on why poverty makes it hard to figure out what you like.
Anne Helen Petersen’s book-filled island cottage.
Three people share how they changed their careers. Then, three more women share!
Brooke Barker’s great conversation starter.
Hunter Harris tells us what movies and shows to watch right now.
Abbey Nova’s jaw-dropping garden makeover.
Natasha Pickowicz wants you to throw yourself a party.
My sister’s parenting hack that I can’t stop thinking about.
Alison Piepmeyer’s amazing wallpaper before-and-after photos.
15 incredible books to read.
Nine ways Kate Baer is coming out to play in her 40s.

Here’s the discount link for 20% off annual subscriptions, and here’s the Big Salad homepage, if you’d like to check it out. We would love to have you, and thank you so much for your support and readership. Joannaxo
P.S. We also offer 50 comped subscriptions per month for those who’d like to read Big Salad but aren’t in a place to pay for it at the moment. Just email newsletter@cupofjo.com to get on the list. Thank you!
