By Robert Scucci
| Published 1 hour ago

With rent prices spiraling out of control, the average person has to figure out how to be thrifty enough to survive in this brutal economy if they want to maintain a comfortable quality of life. Personally, I freelance full time because it allows me to work from home and keep a flexible schedule. That lifestyle choice lets me stay home with my kids, saving a ton of money on child care. I’m also saving hand over fist on car maintenance and fuel costs because I don’t have a commute. In a past life, I remember dropping about 10 grand a year just getting to and from an office setting that made me miserable, so I don’t do that anymore, and my wallet thanks me for it.

Most importantly, I like staying home so I can actually enjoy what my rent pays for. I’ll stand in the vacant corner of the living room that we don’t quite know what to do with yet, simply because we’re paying for every single square inch and might as well use it. When my wife asks what I’m doing, I tell her I’m getting my money’s worth and enjoying my rent. While this behavior sounds a little silly, it’s nothing compared to what’s uncovered in the 2024 documentary, Secret Mall Apartment.

It’s Exactly What It Sounds like

If you’re wondering what Secret Mall Apartment is about, there’s no need to read between the lines. It’s about a collective of Rhode Island-based artists, led by Michael Townsend, who secretly lived inside the Providence Place shopping mall for four years without being discovered. What began as a creative solution to displacement ultimately became a long term, living art installation and a quiet protest against gentrification. Along the way, the documentary also makes a strong case for using art as a way to reclaim your life, which might be exactly the kind of inspiration you’re looking for right now.

It all started in 2003, when Michael Townsend and his friends Colin Bliss, Adrian Valdez Young, Andrew Oesch, Greta Scheing, James Mercer, Emily Ustach, and Jay Zehngebot needed a new base of operations after the dilapidated Eagle Square district, which functioned as a creative hub for local artists, was leveled to make way for the sprawling shopping center. Providence Place mall was never exactly welcomed by longtime residents, largely because it was seen as a development that would drive up costs and push lower income families out of the area.

While reluctantly wandering through the mall to see what all the hype was about, Townsend discovered a chunk of unutilized space where several structures intersected. That discovery sparked the idea to slowly transform it into a hidden apartment. With the help of his friends, they turned the space into a modest but functional living area of roughly 750 square feet. Using a Pentax Optio camera, they documented the entire process, from sneaking furniture into the space to tapping electricity from a nearby store. They even hauled in dozens of cinder blocks to construct their own wall and a locking door, all without drawing attention from security.

Technically Theft And Trespassing, But Also A Living Art Installment

Townsend was eventually discovered, cited for trespassing, and evicted from the secret mall apartment in 2007. Even so, it’s hard not to admire the initiative behind the whole thing. As the documentary makes clear, Townsend is the kind of person who sees art in everything, and transforming the space was simply another creative challenge. While living inside the mall, the group continued to work on ambitious projects under the radar, including contributing to an elaborate 9/11 memorial in New York City and creating large scale tape murals at children’s hospitals, more often than not working tirelessly for free.

Between these demanding projects, the group returned to their secret mall apartment to talk shop, plan their next ideas, and unwind by playing video games, watching TV, and simply having a place to exist without paying rent. The stunt itself is impressive, but it also functioned as a pointed commentary on gentrification. Providence Place was a massive development designed primarily for tourists rather than locals. After the construction of the 1.4 million square foot mall displaced a thriving underground art community, Townsend felt reclaiming 750 unused square feet was a fitting way to push back.

Secret Mall Apartment is a satisfying watch because the apartment represents more than just a clever place to live. It stands for reclaiming autonomy through unconventional means and tells a genuinely inspiring story about eight people who followed a strange idea because it felt like their calling at the time. Every person who lived in the secret mall apartment still works in the arts today. Meanwhile, the mall itself is currently under state receivership, which feels like an ironic footnote in a story about creativity outlasting corporate progress.

If you’re looking for a feel-good documentary that might spark something in your own creative life, or if you’re just looking for some thrifty interior decorating tips, you can stream Secret Mall Apartment on Netflix.

Game, set, sip! Odell Beckham Jr., Kane Brown, Terrell Owens, Estelle, and more celebs headed to Cîroc Athletic Club at M Ranch, a private estate established in 1919, in Napa Valley, California on Feb. 6 to debut its inaugural Super Bowl pickleball tournament.

Celebrity pickleball coach Matt Manasse, who has trained Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Kelly Rowland, Will Ferrell, and Emma Watson, hosted the day’s matches, with Owens stepping onto the court to compete.

Between rallies, guests recharged with Leisure Well experiences, including IV drips and B12 shots from Recovery Suite and massages by Hyperice.

Throughout the day, attendees embraced wine-country living by sipping Cîroc vodka specialty cocktails, crafted from fine French grapes and distilled using a cold fermentation process, as they soaked in vineyard views across the property’s 12 acres.

Inside the home, partygoers browsed curated artwork by Gordon Parks, courtesy of Jenkins Johnson Gallery, before making their way to an outside stand to grab custom Cîroc pullovers, windbreakers, disposable cameras, and travel bags.

As golden hour faded into evening, DJ Millie kept the energy high with a live set, before guests enjoyed a performance by IDL and a dinner by Chef Kwame Onwuachi, followed by dessert and cupcakes to go.

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By Chris Snellgrove
| Published 25 seconds ago

Starfleet Academy is Star Trek’s newest show, and it is aimed squarely at a younger audience than any live-action franchise show before it. Paramount’s goal with this series is quite simple: while appealing to older fans, they are hoping these young characters and their various onscreen antics will reach Generation Z, effectively growing what has become an older and somewhat stagnant fanbase. Unfortunately, these efforts are doomed for a simple reason: the humor in Starfleet Academy is written by Millennials who are patently terrible at writing for a Zoomer audience.

There has been extensive criticism of the language used in Starfleet Academy because these 32nd-century characters talk exactly like 21st-century Zoomers. Cadets constantly refer to each other as “bruh” and “b*tch,” instructors refer to annoying situations as “dumpster fires,” the digital dean talks about cadets getting hangry, and so on. Such dialogue is completely different than in any previous Trek show, and it’s paired with youth-centric plots about getting drunk, hooking up, and pulling pranks on rival students.

The Failed Defense of Starfleet Academy

Whenever anyone criticizes any of this, defenders will usually dust off one of two different arguments. The first (one even Robert Picardo has used) is that, because these characters are so young, we should expect them to speak and act very differently from the trained and seasoned Starfleet officers we have seen onscreen before. The second defense is that we should respect that Paramount is trying to appeal to a new audience, which is important because the primary Star Trek fandom ain’t getting any younger.

Historically, Starfleet Academy critics like myself have focused on the absurdity of the first defense; for example, it’s fine to have younger characters speak more unprofessionally than their older peers, but that doesn’t explain why these 32nd-century characters inexplicably talk like characters from the 21st century. Today’s Zoomers speak very differently from their parents and other older people, but that doesn’t mean they are dusting off slang from 1,100 years ago. However, it’s well past time we dissect the problem with the second defense: namely, that Paramount is doing all of this to create younger Star Trek fans.

Bursting Fanboys’ Bubble

The essential problem with Starfleet Academy’s writers trying to script Zoomer-style dialogue is that a Millennial-led writing staff will never be able to convincingly write like younger people. Pretty much any attempt to do this results in instant cringe. Unfortunately, most of the worst humor in this new Star Trek show comes from older writers trying to create convincing Zoomer dialogue by badly recycling Millennial humor and calling it a day.

For example, one of the clunkier lines from the first episode of Starfleet Academy is Darem’s “I’m Khionian, b*tch.” Ever ask yourself why this really sounds so out of place coming out of this young actor’s mouth? It’s because this kind of dialogue was popularized by Britney Spears (“it’s Britney, b*tch!”) back in 2007, before most Millennials quoting Britney had gotten their first smartphone.

Star Trek Does The Time Warp (Again)

In the most recent episode of Starfleet Academy, the digital dean, voiced by Stephen Colbert, uses the phrase “morning wood” before chuckling in pleasure at his own penis reference. For context,  morning wood jokes were at their (ahem) peak in the ‘90s, with Office Space featuring “the Morningwood Condominiums” and Beavis and Butt-Head featuring an episode called “The Mystery of Morning Wood.” Forget appealing to Zoomers, this gag was written by and for the same Millennials that laughed along with Beavis and Butt-Head, which is likely why that same episode has a bizarre punchline featuring a farting fish.

My point is simple: Starfleet Academy has a writer’s room full of Millennials (including Lower Decks legend Tawny Newsome), and they are trying to appeal to younger viewers by including what Millennials liked when they were younger. That’s why bad guys like Nus Braka speak like ‘90s action villains (“Payback’s a b*tch!”) and the good guys are nerds trying to win prank wars with bullies (it’s basically Revenge Of The Nerds in space). This is why Chancellor Ake is hundreds of years old and often acts like a child: she’s an eternal reminder of the Millennial mantra that adulting is hard, guys!

Star Trek’s Comeback Has Already Failed

This is why Starfleet Academy’s attempt to appeal to younger viewers is ultimately doomed to fail. Actual Zoomers will reject all of this Millennial humor in a heartbeat; in fact, it wasn’t that long ago that Zoomers on TikTok were relentlessly mocking Millennial comedy for being so old and out of touch. Meanwhile, older audiences (like the Millennial-hating Boomers who keep Paramount staples like NCIS on the air) will instantly reject youth humor of any stripe, especially when it involves characters vomiting glitter like a background character in an anime (yes, this really happened!).

As for actual Millennials, most of us are still put off by Starfleet Academy’s humor because it feels completely out of place in Star Trek. Literally no fan my age has ever taken a look at the franchise and decided everything would be much better if it were written by people who thought The Office was the funniest thing ever written. Unfortunately, all the writers of this new spinoff can give us is tired vulgarity and try-hard quirks that might have been funny back before the freakin’ housing crisis.

Paramount may still get the last laugh and attract a legion of young viewers, but that’s unlikely: recently, Starfleet Academy quietly slipped out of the Top 10 rankings on Paramount+. As it turns out, writing that pisses off both older and younger viewers is not the recipe for creating a winning new show. I’d love to point this out to the writing staff, but I dare not; after all, who knows what kind of sick, therapy-coded 30 Rock meme they would slap back with in response?